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Checking in... (Read 378 times)
Heck
Human Fungus Hybrid
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I Love Space Jam!

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Checking in...
12/04/23 at 12:35:59
 
It's been a long time since my last visit to this place. I remember first becoming a member way back in March 2003, when I was just 15. Over time, I started regretting that decision, because I never felt welcome here. I was just looking for a place to hang out, and make online friends, but I only ended up fucking hating this place. Everyone was such a miserable asshole. Couldn't even start a discussion without being personally attacked for no reason. Needless to say, I did not want to hang out with this crowd.

I grew up with a severe anxiety/panic disorder, which drove me into a very isolated existence, where the only friend I had was my PS2. I got a lot of shit from people here, very similar to the shit I got at home from certain family members. Basically being made to feel like I was subhuman. Can't say I didn't bare some of the blame, I could be quite cringy and whiny at times.

I turned to other communities online looking for acceptance, but ended up blowing it there too.

I fell into a deep depression starting in 2008, which only got worse, as well as the anxiety when starting in 2009 I had to deal with unimaginable family turmoil that lasted for years.

It's a miracle I didn't kill myself. I am a psychological wreck, but a functioning one at least.
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Kilrgrn
Tiger Woods' golf club (which is also his penis)
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Catch me ridin' around
the Warehouse District.

Posts: 2245
Re: Checking in...
Reply #1 - 03/03/24 at 10:00:28
 
Damn dude, I'm sorry to hear all that. 2003 was a bit before my time. But something tells me it was mostly Hellbent's fault lol..

That was the wild west time of the internet and no one knew what the hell they were doing at the time. It's not an excuse, but looking back it's genuinely insane how much the internet has changed as time has gone on.

All being said, it's not like that anymore. It's been a decade or so since that behavior was seen as acceptable.
I hope you find peace.



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