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Twisted Metal - Bounty Hunter Scum (Chapter 1) (Read 2478 times)

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Twisted Metal - Bounty Hunter Scum (Chapter 1)
06/30/20 at 04:37:52
Twisted Metal – Bounty Hunter Scum
By Mosh (TMA)

The Bounty Hunter Team:
Amanda X (The Snake)
Captain Cutlass (The Sea Dog)
Agent Orange (The Bio-Hazard)
Quatro (The Terminator)

The Bounty:
Ken Masters (The Movie Star)

The Client:
Big Daddy (The Crime Lord)
Goliath (Big Daddy’s Enforcer)

The Twisted Metal Freaks:
Calypso (The Ringleader)
Sam Boomer (The Speed Racer)
Bruce Wayne Cochrane (The Music Thumping Vigilante)
Miss Grimm (The Moto-Psycho)
Prime Evil (Calypso’s Enforcer)

-Chapter 1: Killers 4 Hire

In the sewers of New York City on Christmas Eve a team of 4 armed bounty hunters/mercenaries for hire, known as The K4H, meet up and plan.
Amanda X is a masculine woman with rough features and visible scars, a shaved head and tattooed arms.
Quatro is a combat android with very little human looking features, green glowing eyes, four robotic arms, and silver metal plating all over.
Agent Orange wears a gas mask and a long trench coat, big gloves, and armored boots.
Captain Cutlass is dressed like a pirate, sword and all, and looks like a man with a serious drinking problem.

Amanda X – What a shithole.
As in this place smells like a hole full of shit.
Why’d we pick this spot again?

Quatro– Calypso, the Twisted Metal contest ringleader, has cameras everywhere on the streets. It was imperative for our initiative to be discreet as possible.

Agent Orange – I like shitholes. Smells like home.

Amanda X – Fuck you, you have a gas mask on.

Agent Orange – I wear it to protect others. Where is your face mask?

Captain Cutlass – Yo ho ho, avast ye! Bunch of scallywags! This sea dog seeks the bounty and the booty. Now is not time to scuttlebutt in this city orlop that smells worse than a poop deck.

Amanda X – When do you ever get booty, Cutlass? But you’re right, it’s time to cut the crap and talk about how we capture this target before one of these Twisted Metal freaks get to him first. Remember, we get 24 million if we capture Ken Masters alive. That’s 6 million for each of us. Not a bad payday.

Agent Orange – Too bad we can’t just kill him. My nerve agents are going to waste in this mission.

Captain Cutlass – Bah, focus on the doubloons, mate. Positive thinking is what’s called for.

Quatro – Our client, the crime lord Big Daddy, was specific that we do not terminate the target. Our target, Ken Masters, eccentric millionaire playboy and highly influential entertainer who has appeared in such films as “High Octane”, “Asphalt Assault”, and “Urban Assault”, is to be captured and sent to Big Daddy for an experimental propaganda program to be utilized in a plan for global corporate domination. Specifics are confidential. Big Daddy is aware of his rival inviting Ken Masters to Twisted Metal to spoil his plans, hoping to turn Ken Masters into a specter one way or another, whether he wins or loses. 

Amanda X – Sounds like Calypso and Big Daddy are fighting over who has the bigger d—

Agent Orange – Dictators… both of them. But Big Daddy pays better.

Quatro – We will set up a perimeter, around the battleground. Wait for the right moments to attack while the vehicles duel. When Ken Masters is isolated we will capture him, take out any surveillance and security, and escape through the sewers before Calypso knows what happened to one of his drivers.

Amanda X – Like a stealthy pit viper, we wait for the right time to bite and poison the prey.

Captain Cutlass – And any scurvy dog who gets in the way we send to Davy Jones’ locker.

Agent Orange – I have my choking agents ready. Hope these Twisted Metal freaks like diphosgene.

Quatro – Then let us engage.

To Be Continued…

Chapter 2 Preview –

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« Last Edit: 07/03/20 at 09:16:11 by MoshfieldAsylum »  
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Re: Twisted Metal - Bounty Hunter Scum (Chapter 2)
Reply #1 - 07/03/20 at 08:54:05

Above the sewers on the snowy near-midnight streets of Brooklyn, New York, the Twisted Metal contest is about to begin.

On each corner of the battlefield, surrounded by an invisible force field, trapping the contestants inside the battleground, are four participants in their customized vehicles of choice. They are Bruce Cochrane/Thumper, Ken Masters/Spectre, Sam Boomer/12-Pak, and Miss Grimm/Moto Psycho.

Around the battleground are armed soldiers working for Calypso, the ringleader of the contest. They are a mix of mind-controlled men and androids programmed by Calypso himself.

The innocent people of the area have been put in a zombie state by Calypso, with pedestrians aimlessly roaming about on the streets or in their homes, oblivious to the events about to ensue.

Music plays in the background of the arena. The music is a hybrid of styles… electronic, orchestral, and metallic.

Calypso begins to speak as his voice is heard throughout the arena from the voices of the cyborgs planted around the arena, and from the car stereos of the contestants..

The bounty hunters/mercenaries (Amanda X, Agent O, Cutlass, Quatro) silently wait underground and listen.

Calypso – I am Calypso! I have taken over your city, you pathetic cretins, peasants of Brooklyn. I have taken over your minds too - and I doubt you will miss it. All of you will witness, against your will, as I destroy your neighborhood with my wonderful entertainment. I call it Twisted Metal! I have chosen 4 skilled maniacs for this little area. Normally, I like to go to the West Coast with my events, but they are still repairing my last mess over there. These four maniacs are skilled at the art of car combat. Well, vehicular combat, technically, but fuck you nerds! What? What is that? I can break the 4th wall if I fucking want to. I AM CALYPSO, and this is Twisted Metal… oh, and let me welcome all of those who are using their smart devices to stream this event…

Bruce Cochrane – Get to the fucking introductions, you weirdo fuck. Fuck the streamers.

Calypso - On one corner is Bruce “Wayne” Cochrane, a domestic vigilante who has joined a terroristic contest for oh so noble reasons, to rid crime from the streets, riding his bright pink 1979 Cadillac Coupe De Ville Lowrider customized with weapons. I’ll be rooting for you to die, heh heh heh.

Bruce – I don’t doubt it.

Calypso - On another corner is Sam “Severance” Boomer, an ex-NASCAR racer, fired for drinking heavily during races, looking for a chance at reviving his career. He drives a modified prize stock racer/Chevrolet Chevelle with the number 12 painted on each side of the vehicle. Would you like a 12-pack of Coronas, Sammy?

Sam – I’m going to change the rules to allow drinking during races. It’s not fair, I tell you. Drunk drivers should have rights. I haven’t been able to get my life in order since I been kicked out of NASCAR… so I have nothing left to lose but this meaningless life by trying to fix my past by winning this demolition derby. I don’t care who dies. It’s not my fault alcohol is so addictive, anyway.

Calypso – Of course not. You’re misunderstood, and a victim of society’s ridiculous rules.

Sam – Exactly! You understand!

Calypso - In the third corner is Miss Grimm, a highly deranged and scary individual indeed. She seeks to become the grim reaper, and drives an all-black Harley-Davidson motorcycle nicknamed the moto psycho, with a sidecar featuring a big gun mounted on its seat. She wears face paint/war paint that resembles that of an evil clown jester. Reminds me of someone I knew.

Miss Grimm – You will make me the Grim Reaper and you will like it, funny man. And then I can eat the souls. They taste like sugar, so sweet. I can eat souls forever, and truly live, live, live like Queen, yes, yes, yes, yes… Can I eat your face, funny man? Pwetty pwetty pweeeaze?

Calypso – Oh, I like you. You can go fuck my sister in Hell, Miss Grimm. You will either become death or be taken by it, so either way, you’ll be going there.

Miss Grimm – I can eat her face too, ha, ha! Yummy yum yum.

Calypso - In the fourth and final corner is Ken Masters, a famous Hollywood actor of big budget action films, bored of his fame, bored of his normal family, seeking a new kind of thrill… a life or death type of thrill. Fortunately, for him, his wish has already been granted. But maybe he will surprise us and ask for something other than a meaningless thrill. He drives an all-white sports car, Chevrolet Corvette C2 Stingray from 1964, nicknamed Spectre by Mr. Masters... Looks like a baby’s car, Mr. Masters. Why not opt for a monster truck or a tank?

Ken Masters – Are you kidding me? Someone as handsome as me deserves better than an unattractive vehicle. Even when I starred in “Critical Depth: Submarine Assault” I had a sexy submarine. And Baby’s Car? We’ll see if you feel the same way when I’m the last man standing. There’s no way I’m losing. I’m more than a movie star. I’m a winner.

Calypso – Ah, that’s the spirit, Mr. Masters. And now that the introductions are over with, we can began… Only one of you brave warriors will survive this battle. The others I will see in Hell. Good luck, drivers…

The drivers start their vehicles and begin to hunt each other…

Thumper finds an alley between buildings to camp in. He turns off his front lights and quietly waits for an opportunity to ambush.

A Twisted Metal security guard appears in the alley… one of Calypso’s mind-controlled men hired to enforce the rules. He gets right next to Thumper.

Guard – No camping, sir.

Bruce rolls down his windows, and with a small firearm fires at the guard’s chest, killing him, spraying blood on the alley wall.

Bruce – Fuck you.

Suddenly 12-Pak starts shooting at Thumper.

The vehicles of the contest have shields that protect the vehicle until a certain damage threshold is met, so the bullets of 12-pak’s mounted guns are not doing direct damage, but Thumper is forced to reverse in the alley while 12-Pak charges with a fury.

Bruce – Fuck, my shields are at 50 percent…

Sam (speaking to his car) – Reticle seeker, engage.

12-Pak starts to countdown while chasing Thumper who is driving in reverse with each gunning at each other. They leave the alley and turn into the streets. The vehicles smash into pedestrians (who are still in a zombie state).

12-Pak’s infrared homing missile barrage countdown – 10, 9, 8...

Bruce – Flamethrower, activate!

Flames shoot from two flamethrowers attached to the bottom of the Thumper vehicle, damaging 12-Pak’s shield heavily.

Sam – Fuck, can’t see…

Severed Sam reaches for his shotgun inside the vehicle and wildly shoots it outside his window towards Thumper.

12-Pak special countdown – 3, 2,...

Bruce presses a button that makes Thumper jump over 12-Pak.

12-Pak’s special weapon destroys a nearby building and 12-Pak crashes through a Pizzeria, while still on fire from the flamethrower

Bruce – Ha, screw you!

Thinking 12-Pak was done for and wanting to recharge his shields, Bruce drives away in Thumper seeking and planning his next battle with either Spectre or Grimm.

Inside the destroyed Pizzeria Sam Boomer leaves his car, in his racing suit, and while injured, easily finds the strength to go for the beer in the undamaged fridge of the pizzeria. He starts drinking, and programs 12-Pak for self-repair.

Sam Boomer finishes a beer, and grabs another.

Sam – Ah, tasty. …I think I’m about ready for round two.

Captain Cutlass suddenly appears.

Cutlass – I wouldn’t mind me a round myself.

Cutlass, with pirate sword in hand, swings his sword towards Sam…

Sam Boomer is decapitated.

Cutlass – Sorry, mate. Guess ye be Severed Sam now.

Cutlass - I’m going to need this…

Cutlass takes the beer out of Sam’s lifeless hand, drinks some, and then takes Sam’s helmet off and puts it on. Captain Cutlass conceals the body, then gets into 12-Pak’s vehicle and drives out of the pizzeria.

Cutlass talks into a walkie-talkie type of radio communication device.

Cutlass – I severed 1 scurvy dog, X. I have set sail in disguise.

Amanda X (via comms) – Me and Quatro are still underground on the other side of the map tracking Grimm and Specter. They are close to each other but so far they haven’t met. They are picking up weapons from Calypso’s weapon caches, and Miss Grimm has been preoccupied killing off pedestrians. Quatro is using his internal radar to track the vehicle movements. We got you tracked too, and we see Thumper heading this way as well. ETA 5 minutes, maybe 10 if he goes in circles. Be careful, Cutlass.

Cutlass – Aye, Aye.

Amanda X - If Calypso discovers something is up, who knows what that freak will do. We sent Agent Orange to prep his tank for when we evacuate, with Ken Masters… and we’ll nerve gas this shithole if we have to take out Calypso’s army. Then we collect from Big Daddy.

Cutlass – Aye.

Cutlass drives off in 12-Pak in pursuit of Thumper.

In the wreckage of the Brooklyn Pizzeria Calypso suddenly appears, with a look of disgust to his face. Calypso has one all-black left eye, one all-red right eye, long hair on the right side, and no hair on the left. Calypso appears as a freakish man in a fancy business suit. His fingernails are freakishly long. He is holding an assault rifle.

Calypso – Who was that pirate filth?

Calypso waves his hand towards the concealed and headless corpse of Sam Boomer.

Calypso – Wake up, Mr. Boomer.

“Severed” Sam stands, without his head, and moves towards Calypso.

Calypso – Find the pirate who took your helmet. Kill him.

The headless Sam Boomer grabs Calypso’s assault rifle and starts to run, with incredible speed, out into the street in pursuit of Captain Cutlass.

Calypso begins to laugh while he fades away and disappears back to wherever he came from.

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« Last Edit: 07/03/20 at 10:01:45 by MoshfieldAsylum »  
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Re: Twisted Metal - Bounty Hunter Scum (Interlude)
Reply #2 - 07/03/20 at 20:50:57


In the basement of a house in Santa Monica, California are two stoners, Mike and Stu.

They are streaming Twisted Metal on their smart TV while smoking hash mixed with weed in a bong while sitting on a couch. Rob Zombie’s music is playing in the background. They have instruments, vinyl records, and old porno magazines scattered around.

Calypso (on TV as a color commentator) – Thumper’s survival technique was impressive but I have seen much better, ladies and gentlemen. Some of you may remember 5 years ago when Masta Mikey entered the contest and managed to survive 15 minutes on 5 or less points of shield health against some formidable foes. And he ended up winning the damn thing. I couldn’t believe it!

Mike – Uh… this sucks, Stu. Nothing has been happening in this TM. Last year was way better when they had Minion, Darkside, Warthog, and the garbage truck guy. I like big dogs, not these little sports cars, and motorcycles. What is this crap?

Stu – Yeah, I wasn’t really paying attention the last ten minutes to be honest. This hash is fire.

Mike – Want to turn on the Playstation instead?

Stu – Yeah. (Cough) This Calypso talks like a fag anyway.

The two idiots laugh and turn Twisted Metal off.

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« Last Edit: 07/10/20 at 11:48:59 by MoshfieldAsylum »  
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Re: Twisted Metal - Bounty Hunter Scum - Final Chapter
Reply #3 - 07/10/20 at 10:59:43

Chapter 3: Prime Evil

Back in the outdoors Brooklyn arena, protected from legal interference thanks to Calypso’s invisible dome covering the battleground, Bruce/Thumper races east of the battleground, driving past blocks and blasting away traffic cars that are being driven by the locals who are under Calypso’s mind control.

One traffic car rams into Thumper’s back side, but Thumper presses the Rear Power Missile button in the vehicle’s weapon controller located near the car stereo/CD player, and watches the car explode from behind, killing the unfortunate man driving who was under Calypso’s control.

The Wu Tang Clan song that was playing in Thumper’s vehicle (“Protect Ya Neck”) suddenly stops, so Calypso could speak to Bruce through the car speakers.

Calypso – Bruce, I thought you were a good man. Killing innocent citizens is so unlike you.

Bruce – They aren’t innocent when they are under your mind control, Calypso.

Calypso – They have families though. Like you.

Bruce – Don’t talk about my family.

Calypso – Why? Are you still mad about the divorce with your ex-wife, Angela, who took custody of your daughter? You were so busy with your vigilante work you didn’t have time for them, and they thought you were a dangerous man. Or are you mad about your little brother who died of a heroin drug overdose? You were okay with him smoking a little bit of pot, eating hash brownies… and then suddenly the gateway to death was opened.

Thumper destroys some more traffic vehicles with Napalm.

Calypso – You did quite a number on that drug dealer, the way you tossed him in front a moving train. That was very extreme, Bruce. I don’t think Batman would approve.

Bruce – No, but Batman is a fictional character. In real life you kill a motherfucker who crosses the line, like some punk who poisons children.

Calypso – I never cared for children. I was a father once…

Bruce – Nobody asked about your life story. What the hell do you want?

Calypso – The speed racer (12-Pak*) you thought you took out is back on the battlefield close behind you, Mr. Cochrane. But it is a new driver. The new driver is some bounty hunter scum of sorts. He seems immune to my mind control magic… probably those neural implants Big Daddy developed, popular on the black market, but the point is he is cheating. But no worries, I’ve sent a dog to chase him. Just thought I’d let you know this match has been corrupted.

Bruce – And I care because?

Calypso - I can grant you 2 prizes if you take them out.

Bruce – Fine. But if you screw me over on the first wish, my second wish will be a bullet in your brain.

Calypso – That’s the spirit, Mr. Cochrane!

Wu-Tang Clan returns to the car stereo speakers of Thumper

Bruce – Freak.

Meanwhile Specter and Grimm are dueling in a parking lot garage.

They are shooting missiles back and forth but dodging each others attacks.

Miss Grimm – Ha, ha, ha, in circles we go! Wee! Fun time! Dodge this!

Grimm shoots Shurikens out of her motorcycle. They damage Specter’s shield by 25 percent.

Specter shoots 4 homing missiles at once at Grimm, damaging her shield by 30 percent.

The two vehicles start destroying parked cars in their way.

Ken Masters – (singing) Ooh, baby, I love your way, everyday, yeah, yeah…

Grimm shoots a Ricochet bomb from her sidecar, doing 10 percent damage.

Specter returns the favor with 5 speed missiles.

Ken Masters – (singing) …Want to be with you night and day!

Nearby the parking lot garage the two bounty hunters Amanda X & Quatro surface from the sewers.

Amanda X – Quatro, it’s time you transform.

Quatro transforms into a sleek, metallic looking hover bike with Quatro’s green eyes turning into headlights, and 2 of his 4 arms have turned into guns while the other 2 become handles for driving.

Amanda X – Beautiful, Quatro.

Quatro – Welcome. Now let’s get Mr. Masters.

Amanda X gets on top of the Quatro hover bike and they zoom towards the parking lot garage entrance, where inside Grimm and Specter continue to battle.

Miss Grimm – You think you got me, babe!? Wait till you catch my disease!

Miss Grimm jumps over the speeding Specter and from behind the motorcycle’s sidecar a scythe-like blade shoots with blazing speed and smashes through the back window of Specter’s vehicle whose back shields were destroyed.

Ken Masters loses control of the vehicle and turns to avoid a fatal collision with the wall, but he hits head hard on the steering wall.

Ken Masters – Ugh, that’s going to leave a mark… I might need to wish for a new face if I survive this…

Miss Grimm – Ha! Ha! Satan would be so proud of me!

Quatro, driven by Amanda X, come driving in to Miss Grimm’s surprise and shockwaves Grimm’s moto-psycho motorcycle.

Miss Grimm is knocked out unconscious from the shockwave.

The shockwave also knocks out Calypso’s nearby camera drones that were recording for the television audience.

Amanda X – Sorry, clown bitch, time to sleep.

Amanda X shoots Miss Grimm in the head.

Ken Masters – Hey, you poacher!

Amanda X – Pfff, shut up! She had you dead to rights.

Amanda X shoots Ken Masters in the neck with a tranquilizer dart gun.

Quatro – Nice shot, for a human.

Ken Masters – Christ, I’m seeing stars… Not the Hollywood stars I like getting drunk with… but…the bad… kind… that cartoon… characters… see.

Ken Masters passes out and Amanda X grabs him and puts him on Quatro.

Amanda X – We got our bounty. Quatro, you drive to Agent Orange’s coordinates, put Mr. Masters in the cargo hold of the tank. I need to get Cutlass. I can’t leave a man behind. 

Quatro drives off with the bounty towards Agent Orange’s coordinates.

Calypso, Twisted Metal ringleader, suddenly appears, to confront Amanda X.

Calypso looks to see Miss Grimm dead, and sees an empty Specter, and destroyed Twisted Metal camera drones.

Calypso – Explain yourself, bounty hunter scum. I’m trying to put on a show and you dare sabotage this production?

Amanda X – Our client Big Daddy sent us to say hello.

Calypso – Ah, yes, Big Daddy. He wants to take my place as King of the World?

Amanda X – You’re the king of nothing except death, Calypso.

Calypso – The King of Death is the greatest King there is. It’s a title money can’t buy. That’s why Big Daddy is so mad. Oh, and your friend, Cutlass, is already dead, my dear. It seems a headless jogger gunned him down.

Calypso throws the decapitated head of Captain Cutlass on the ground in front of Amanda X.
Amanda pretends not to be shaken by this.

Calypso – Are you not unnerved, my dear? He was your soldier, no? Part of K4H, the Killers 4 Hire… 4 military rejects turned bounty hunters… and you kill or capture for money? How boring! What is you really want, Amanda?

While Calypso looms towards her Amanda X tosses a couple grenades at Calypso and runs towards the Specter vehicle, which still had its engine on, and gets in, while Calypso jumps out of the way before the grenade explodes

Amanda X drives off in Specter.

Calypso – Oh, you will pay for that, my dear. You will be a victim of PRIME EVIL!

Calypso opens up a portal, and a giant, black dune buggy drives through the portal. It is covered with skulls as vehicular ornaments and the giant wheels of the buggy are covered in blood.

Inside the doom buggy is Prime Evil, an albino demon with reptilian scales and a face almost like an alligator.

Calypso – Prime Evil, my favorite demon. How are you, my friend?

Prime Evil – I am thirsty for flesh, bone, and blood. Oh, a demon like me just wants to have fun.

Calypso – Well, you’re in luck. You’re the BOSS of this year’s Twisted Metal.

Prime Evil – It’s about time for Prime Time Evil.

The Doom Buggy drives out in pursuit of Amanda X/Specter.

Meanwhile, Thumper has arrived and is chasing Specter down and spraying it with machine gun bullets.

Amanda X – Fuck, this asshole is chasing me now…

Behind Thumper Prime Evil’s death buggy arrives shooting a Mace as a projectile from its cryptic design. It hits Thumper.

Bruce – What the fuck, Calypso? Who is this motherfucker? What happened to our deal?

Calypso (from car stereo) – Did I not mention the boss fight? Whoops! Ha!

Thumper makes a U-turn.

Specter drives off an arena ramp placed on the street and in the air gets hit by Prime Evil’s mace-like projectiles which knocks the vehicle to the side through a bank window.

The dune buggy starts shooting hammers at Specter, now upside down after having smashed through the window. The repeated hammer blows dent the vehicle badly.

Prime Evil laughs.

Prime Evil – I will bludgeon you, weak human, and feed your bones to my pets in Hell.

Prime Evil’s dune buggy drives towards the bank hoping to ram Specter while it’s vulnerable but Thumper rams the Doom Buggy to prevent a fatal blow, saving Amanda X.

Thumper shoots his flamethrower and engulfs Prime Evil in flames, while also attacking the vehicle

Bruce – Burn, you ugly motherfucker

Prime Evil jumps out of the flame and smashes Thumpers windshields with his beastly fists.

Prime Evil – Get out of the car, so I can rip your eyeballs out.

Amanda X, wounded, gets out of Specter and starts shooting at Prime Evil with a small firearm.

Prime Evil – Is that supposed to hurt?

Prime Evil stops hitting Thumper and charges towards Amanda.

Suddenly Agent Orange’s tank, the Bio Hazard, arrives. It had been cloaked, and uncloaks while it drives over Prime Evil’s body.

The Bio Hazard doors open.

Agent Orange – Agent X, get in here!

Amanda X first runs towards Bruce in Thumper who is struggling to turn his vehicle back on after the damage it had sustained.

Bruce – Goddamn hunk of junk.

Amanda X – You saved me back there. Come with us if you want to live.

Bruce – You better know what you’re doing…

Bruce and Amanda X jump into the Bio Hazard while Prime Evil wakes up and returns to his Doom Buggy.

The Bio Hazard shoots several reverse Zoomy Rockets while the Death Buggy pursues him.
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Re: Twisted Metal - Bounty Hunter Scum - Final Chapter
Reply #4 - 07/10/20 at 11:00:33

Prime Evil starts to shoot knives out of its doom buggy.

Bruce – How the hell we getting out? The whole arena is blocked by Calypso’s force field.

Agent Orange – I have concocted a chemical weapon that can destroy it.

Bruce – And this demon motherfucker chasing us?

Amanda X – Big Daddy’s enforcer will take care of him.

Bruce notices Ken Masters tied up and knocked out in the cargo hold of the vehicle, with Quatro next to him making sure his vitals stay vital.

Bruce – This operation was about getting him alive? Why?

Agent Orange – Doesn’t matter. But you’ll get a cut of the prize since you helped us.

Amanda X – You can get Cutlass’s cut… we lost one of our own today. But you could fill in for him. Join us, the Killers 4 Hire. I read your dossier. I know you spent years fighting criminals on the street.

Bruce – But you guys are bounty hunters, not vigilantes.

Amanda X – One can be both. Do mercenary jobs and put that money to organizations that can help people. Money can fix a lot.

Quatro – Currency can upgrade.

Bruce – It can also fuck up a lot. And downgrade your personality.

Quatro – That is illogical. Money has no conscience, nor ill will.

Amanda X – Why join Calypso’s contest? He exploits people. You don’t even get paid and you get one wish that usually goes wrong. Remember that year the Kilrahi Brothers won the contest and they ended up getting a lifetime supply of Pepsi even though they really wanted Coca Cola? Calypso can’t even get easy wishes right. He doesn’t want to. It’s all senseless entertainment for the mindless, violent masses and nothing more.

The Bio Hazard shoots more Zoomy rockets at Prime Evil’s Doom Buggy who is still chasing them. They enter Blackfield Cemetery and start driving through the graveyard. On the other side of the graveyard is the force field border, about a mile away.

Bruce – You’re right. I was stupid to join this contest. I wanted to wish for a peaceful world, where there was racial equality and no more fucking drug dealers peddling shit, making money for the man, while my brothers die for some white powder.

Agent Orange – I used to have some chemical addictions myself. I still do.

Amanda X makes a call to Big Daddy on her smart phone.

Amanda X – Big Daddy, alert the Goliath. Calypso’s boy is on our tail. We have the bounty, but we need the monkey off our back to complete the delivery.

The Bio Hazard unleashes a chemical attack that damages Calypso’s force field, allowing it to escape the battleground, but the Doom Buggy was still in pursuit.

The Bio Hazard shoots a flare to the sky to alert the Goliath…

The Goliath is a steamroller, operated by cybernetic augmented Homunculus also named the Goliath... an ironic name, a joke on his size. He has a pure hatred for life and his only enjoyment is steamrolling Big Daddy’s enemies and enjoying the vices Big Daddy offers him.

The driver Goliath speaks through a loudspeaker attached to the steamroller.

Goliath – Calypso, your pet is about to get squished!

The steamroller starts driving towards the action.

Prime Evil’s Doom Buggy starts shooting Molotov cocktails at The Bio Hazard which starts to show some signs of damage.

In a desperate move, The Bio Hazard drops tire spikes and spills some oil on the street.

The Doom Buggy loses control, crashes, and Prime Evil falls out of the vehicle.

Prime Evil – You think some stupid tire spikes and an oil spill will stop me!? I will find you, and you will discover pain you never thought possible!

Before Prime Evil could get back in his vehicle the Goliath steamroller catches up to him, and rolls over Prime Evil… there is some demonic screaming, and then silence, as the demon is finally destroyed.

Goliath – Not so big now! Now you’re just a shit stain.

The Bio Hazard stops. Amanda X leaves the vehicle, and heads towards the Doom Buggy.

Amanda X (to herself) – I always wanted a crazy dune buggy…

Amanda X steals the doom buggy for herself, and she escapes in it, alongside Goliath and The Bio Hazard containing Agent Orange, Bruce, and the bounty, Mr. Masters.

They head towards Big Daddy’s secret penthouse headquarters.

At Big Daddy’s Headquarters, the new Killers 4 Hire bounty hunter group, escorted by Goliath, approaches a giant television where Big Daddy waits. They have Ken Masters with them, tied up, being held by Quatro. Big Daddy smiles, showing off his golden teeth. He wears flamboyant clothes, and what would be described as a pimp hat. He is massively overweight and hides his eyes with dark sunglasses.

Big Daddy (on the TV) – You wonderful bounty hunters have really outdone yourselves. Goliath will pay you now.

The cyber-homunculus pays the bounty hunters Amanda X, Quatro, Agent Orange, and Bruce Cochrane.

Big Daddy - You captured my favorite actor and embarrassed my rival, that Calypso idiot. His ratings went down, and I have the final puzzle piece to my propaganda master plans. I will eventually have more influence than that fool and I’ll be King. This country will bow down to Big Daddy. My wish to become Number 1 will be fulfilled.

Suddenly Calypso appears behind Big Daddy on the television screen.

Calypso – Is that really your wish, Big Daddy?

Big Daddy – What, how did you find me? You’re not supposed to be here!

Calypso – You joined my contest without an invitation as far as I’m concerned. Since your enforcer beat my champion I think it fair that I give the prize to you this year… and since you want to be number 1, then your wish is granted!

Big Daddy screams as he melts away and becomes a puddle of piss.

Calypso takes the camera and zooms towards the giant puddle off urine that was once Big Daddy.

Calypso – How does it feel to be number one, Big Daddy? HAHAHAHAHA!

Amanda X/Bruce/Agent Orange – Holy shit.

Quatro – It appears we have lost our client.

Calypso – Take a look at what happens to those who fuck with Twisted Metal. I hope to see you survivors again, next year! Bounty hunter scum…

The giant television suddenly turns off.

Goliath – Now that my boss is dead… how about you all get out of here.

Bruce – What are you going to do with the bounty now that Big Daddy is gone?

Goliath – He’s going to throw me a party. His life depends on it.

Bruce laughs at the absurdity.

Amanda X – Whatever… lets go.

Agent Orange – Don’t forget who to call if you need some bounty hunters.

Goliath – Get out already.

Quatro – Goodbye, Mr. Masters.

Quatro lets go of Ken Masters and the Killers 4 Hire group of bounty hunters exits.

Ken Masters wakes up.

Ken Masters – What the hell happened?

Goliath – Hell happened.

Ken Masters – Who are you?

Goliath – I’m your new drinking buddy, Goliath. And you’re going to throw me a party or I am going to steamroll over your body.

Goliath laughs as Ken is filled with regret for having entered Twisted Metal

Ken – I should never have left home… I should have stayed a family man!

(Guile’s theme from Street Fighter II plays in the background as the scene zooms out of Big Daddy’s penthouse hideout)


In a Brooklyn dive bar, the following day, the headless “Severed” Sam and the headless Captain Cutlass sit with their decapitated heads near them. The headless bodies pour liquor down the mouths of their severed heads. The heads watch a replay of last night’s poorly rated and chaotic Twisted Metal event.

The bartender, used to unusual sights, stands nearby the two head-divorced men.

Bartender – Sucks what happened to you guys. But I thought it was a pretty good TM despite what people on the internet is saying. So I won’t charge you for the drinks.

Cutlass’ Head – Thanks, mate. Appreciate it.

Sam’s Head – This is ridiculous.

Cutlass’ Head – Arghhhh, I know. I can’t believe that scurvy dog Calypso did this to us.

Sam’s Head – I say we team up for next year’s Twisted Metal… I think we’d make a great team.

Cutlass’ Head – A team-up be fine with me.

Sam’s Head – Do we wish to become normal again?

Cutlass – If not normalcy… I say we wish for lots of booze. Enough booze for an eternity.

Sam’s Head – Good thinking, Cutlass. Cheers.

Sam and Cutlass continue to feed their heads alcohol, as they continue to watch Twisted Metal on the bar television. The scene zooms out of the bar to reveal a ruined neighborhood, with destroyed cars piled up on the streets, burning homes, and blood stained sidewalks.

In the distance the sound of Calypso’s laughing.


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