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The Battle For TMA (Read 667 times)

How bout on the corner
of Fuck and No?

Posts: 5883
Gender: male
The Battle For TMA
03/04/17 at 13:01:27
So this is an old Comedy Fiction I wrote a long time ago before "Struggle" I had it named What's Up Shortie?" but this new title seems better.

Hope you guys hate it and down vote it to hell. Yes I'm self promoting, and I copy and pasted this off one of my links.

Eat my ass

Scene focuses on living room with expensive furniture and fine décor. Apartment is expansive, as it leads to a half open bedroom door. 2 beautiful women and a man can be seen in bed.


Both ladies quiver, as they fall into Dim’s arms.
Whore 1-- Ohhhh Dim…..I’m so fucking full.
Whore 2-- My holes are plowed.
Dim Shades-- Yea ladies. It’s bout time you get  wiped up and GTFO. I got a lot of work to do. Like getting ready for another 2 bitches scheduled to come over later.

Both ladies get dressed with a frown as Dim lights a cigarette.

Whore 1-- We love you Dim!!!
Dim Shades--Yea yea yea. Now GTFO.
Whore 2-- Ohhh Dim. We’re not even gonna get a tip?
Dim Shades-- A fucking tip? You already got the tip of my dick. 20 fucking dollars for both of you should be enough to buy some tampons. Now GTFO before I really cock slap you.

Whores start walking out the door. Whore 2-- If he wasn’t so King, I’d be mad.
Sound of  “Easy Lover” from Phil Collins starts playing.  As this is going on, sounds of a car accident just outside are coming through the window.

Scene cuts to Hellbent getting out of mangled car with the police in hot pursuit.
Hellbent quickly runs upstairs to Dims apartment, and crashes through door busting it down.
Dim Shades-- WTF MAN??? You couldn’t just knock?
Hellbent-- The door was glowing so I thought I had to use my Level 5 Alpha force to get in.
Dim Shades-- For fucks sake Hellbent. Now what the hell am I gonna do about keeping  Blair out?
Hellbent-- I wouldn’t worry about him. It’s V-Wing that’s a problem. He’s to fucking GAY for his own good.

Broom closet door burst open and Venom comes storming out.
Venom then runs , and jumps out 2nd floor window breaking it.

Hellbent-- I still have those cops on me. Keep em busy will ya?

Helbent then closes the broom closet door Venom burst out of.
Hellbent-- Why the fuck does it smell GAY in here?

Cops  run into Dims living room
Dim Shades-- I thought I smelled bacon. Hello piggies. 
Cop 1 -- I know he came up here. I saw him! 
Cop 2-- I can smell FAG from a mile away.
::::::closet door vibrates violently:::::
Cop 1-- What was that?
Dim Shades-- Uhhhhh….that was my super powered DILDO for when I have more than 5 women at a time. You assholes got a warrant?
Cop 2-- He went out the window!!! I got him!!

Cop 2 busts out the other window followed by Cop 1.
Dim Shades-- MOTHER FUCKING RIGHT WING ABORTED BABYS!! I SHOULD FUCKING KILL YOU!! My apartment is getting smashed by all these stupid fucks.

Magnum stumbles through door, followed by Xizor.
Dim Shades-- Speaking of stupid fucks….
Xizor-- That’s why Magnum walked trough 1st. I’m to Alpha for that bullshit.
Magnum-- I’m the one who got us those hookers. Gimmie some credit.
Magnum wobbles back and forth.
Xizor-- Yea sure. And the only reason they wanted to do anything is because of me. 20 bucks for grandma crack heads. You need to take them beer goggles off.
Magnum-- At least I got double teamed.
Xizor-- Yea, and at least mine were under 30.
Magnum-- Son ofva….
Dim Shades-- WTF are you guys doing here anyway? I got some hookers coming over really soon and I can’t have anyone messing with my mo-jo.
Xizor-- We heard Blair was trying to run loose again at TMA. For all we know, he could be anywhere. We figured we should let you know.
Magnum-- Hey Dim. Using your toilet.
Dim Shades-- Just watch when you go through the bedroom. There is cum all over the walls. I went a little crazy.

Hellbent comes out of closet.
Xizor-- Damn Hellbent. You smell GAY.
Hellbent -- And your dick is on backwards. You look like you have a pussy.
Xizor-- Blair has been spotted in towns near us. I think we should use Dims apartment as a headquarters.
Dim Shades-- That FAG has always had a bone for me. I can’t take the chance with my door being busted down.
Xizor-- Why don’t you call maintenance?
Dim Shades-- Because they take fucking forever, and the bull dyke bitch that fixes shit is a real cunt.
Xizor-- So PS7 works here?
Dim Shades-- Fuck it. I’ll call.
Magnum walks out of bathroom
Magnum-- Sorry Dim, I had to puke too.
Dim Shades-- Just fucking great.

10 seconds later…..Angelique walks into the apartment with tools and replacement parts. She is also wearing a elegant nightgown. All men in room have their jaws dropped open.

Magnum-- OMFG. I’m stiff.
Dim Shades-- Wow. Now that’s fucking King.
Angelique-- Hello gents. Please let me do my job.

Angelique works and bends over in various sexy positions and 15 minutes later…..

Angelique-- Thank you gents. Have a nice day. Please put your eyes back in your sockets.
Magnum-- I think I need a towel.
Xizor-- You really need a diaper. She wasn’t all that. I’ve had hotter.
Hellbent-- I need to get going . I can’t believe you can’t just go around punching  random people. It’s fucking racist.
Dim Shades-- Yea. Them Bush boys got a lot of things tied up.
Xizor-- Well, if were gonna stay here for a bit, I gotta get some alcohol and food.
Magnum-- Yea. I’m fucking starving.   

Meanwhile on the other side of town, our Moderators X-Man and Evil Ed are trying desperately to avoid being caught by the fluffy V-Wing.
Evil Ed-- I swear to God man. I dunno how he does it. I’ve never seen anyone with that much determination. Well….maybe Blair is worse but still. I’m not giving him any fucking belts.
X-Man--Don’t worry about it. We’re only running because I need to get him to a special place of mine.
Evil Ed-- Is this where I finally find out what you do with all the annoying noobs that come to TMA?
X-Man-- I thought you would’ve known by now.

Both men hustle across the street and hide in an alleyway just around the corner.
Evil Ed-- I dunno about this. He’s bound to find us here. I really don’t want to hear his whining.
X-Man-- I did it to get some space between us and him. It’s a red light, and he won’t break the rules. He thinks it’d be a sin.

Scene cuts to V-Wing looking around on the street corner, trying to figure out what to do next.
V-Wing-- I know they’re around here. I can smell the POWER. They’re really close!
V-Wing quickly runs across the street in the direction of our Mods. 
V-Wing-- I’m gonna find them. I really am. When I find em, I’m gonna ask for a “TMA Goober” Belt, a “Annoying Noob” belt, a “Fruity Fag” belt and a, and a, and, and, and,
Evil Ed quickly steps out from the corner, and lays down a massive clothesline. V-Wing is knocked out instantly.
X-Man-- Damn Ed. That was really cool. Where did you get that from?
Evil Ed-- I learned it from Shakey Leaf’s Handbook of Urban Survival Techniques. Now what do we do?
X-Man-- I got just the place for this guy. Noone has been able to find out anything about annoying, disappearing noobs.

A short while later, our Mods are in front of a Chinese restaurant.
Evil Ed-- OMFG…..I’ve eaten here before.
X-Man-- Don’t worry about it. So long as you don’t get the “Moderators Special” you’ll be fine.
Evil Ed-- Terrific. It always smelled kinda fishy to me.
X-Man-- That’s because it made with pure 100% TMA Noob pussy.
Evil Ed-- You sure these slant eyes understand you?
:::::::angry Chinese dialogue erupts:::::::
X-Man-- They understand enough. Now shut it. YO MOMMA SAN!!! FRESH MEAT FOR PLATTA!!
:::::.Dragging V-Wings body inside::::::

Scene cuts to Xizor and Magnum walking down the street with dozens of 12 packs.

Magnum-- Damn man. I can’t believe you got all this shit for 50 bucks.
Xizor-- I showed him a picture of your mom’s tits.
Magnum-- Yea right. I still can’t believe you actually got him to let us use the shopping carts.
Xizor-- That’s because I showed him your sisters tits. Wanna see your wife’s?
Magnum-- Nahhhhhh. I see em enough. I’m fucking hungry man. Where we gonna go to eat?
:::::spits empty sunflower seeds at Xizor:::::
Xizor-- There’s this Chinese place I got to that’s got really good food. Great prices too.
Magnum-- Lets do it!

Scene cuts to Xizor and Magnum at Who Flung Poo’s Restaurant. 
Magnum--- No no no. I said I fucking want a spicy pussy platter with some hot ass on the side!
Xizor-- Your just doing it wrong.
Magnum-- Fucking gooks….
Xizor-- Speaking Chinese…..#%&)(*_(*%#%$#%^$?>{>J*%%#^
Girl nods her head and comes back with 2 huge bags of food.
Magnum-- Damn man. How the fuck did you do that?
Xizor-- If you bang enough Asian hotties, you pick up a few things. Lets fucking roll.

Scene cuts to Dims apartment

Evil Ed-- I know Dim is gonna be pretty happy about V-Wing being gone.
X-Man-- Yea. Now all we gotta do is worry about Blair. Where ever the hell that asshole is.
Dim Shades opens door.
Dim Shades-- Hey fella’s. Just in time to have a conference about what to do about Blair being sighted all over the place.
X-Man-- Yea. That little bitch needs to be put in his place. 
Ed and X-Man look over to dining room table and see Magnum and Xizor eating.
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---===THE Applejuice Guy===---
Like sucks, then doesn't swallow. So throw it a towel and tell it to fuck off and get out.
IP Logged

How bout on the corner
of Fuck and No?

Posts: 5883
Gender: male
Re: The Battle For TMA
Reply #1 - 03/04/17 at 13:05:12
Evil Ed-- OMFG. That shit smells like dead pussy.
X-Man snickers and looks at Dim Shades.
X-Man-- I guess Magnum got the Moderators Special.
Magnum-- Yea! How’d you guys know? I’ve only been a Mod for a little while and figured I try it.
Xizor-- You think he would’ve ordered something else after fucking 2 60 year olds.
Magnum-- It doesn’t taste THAT bad.
Xizor-- Yea. But it doesn’t smell that GOOD either.
X-Man leans over to Dim Shades and whispers something.
Magnum--OMFG….WTF?!?! My stomach is fucking doing loops!!
Magnum instantly runs into the bathroom and closes the door.
X-Man-- You’ll be lucky he doesn’t melt the porcelain.
Dim Shades-- That’s the reason he doesn’t sit on the furniture. Wait a minute. Fuck it. Blow it up Mags! I’ll just have maintenance fix it!

Everyone pays attention when TV cuts to news flash

“This is Ran Dather with a breaking news report. We are at Who Flung Poo’s restaurant where a grizzly murder scene has been discovered! Not all the details have come in but, the prime suspect is a burly man running around randomly punching people calling them Niggers, Spics, Jews, and Kilrahi’s”

Camera man 1 -- RAN!! YOU CAN’T SAY THAT ON LIVE TV!!!!
Ran Dather-- Hey fuck you! I’ve been wanting to say that for years!

X-Man-- There goes that gravy train.
Evil Ed-- You think they’ll be able to connect you to it?
X-Man-- No. I kept telling them my name was Nightshade.
Dim Shades-- Damn. That’s pretty harsh.
Xizor-- Jesus. Speaking of harsh……WTF is that smell?

Magnum busts out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles.


Scene cuts to large turd in the toilet with V-Wings voice
Now I can ask for a belt called “Gastrointestinal Traveler” or maybe “Asshole By Products”  By God this water is cold!

Police Come Busting through the door
Cop 1-- There he is!! He has to be in collaboration!
Cop 2-- He doesn’t smell faggy but, he must know where the others are.

Police drag Magnum by his toes and shit still froths out his ass.

Dim Shades-- My fucking God man. Who the fuck is gonna clean this up?
Angelique walks through the door and everything  broken and dirty disappears.
Dim Shades-- I love you. That’s why your name is Angel.
Angelique-- You should know that’s not going to work. Have a nice day gentlemen.
X-Man-- Well, We got to go. I think me and Ed need to maybe go help Magnum out his situation.
Evil Ed-- Not until I pelt that fucker purple with footballs.

Dim Shades goes over to toilet and flushes it

V-Wing voice-- NO!! NO!!! I was just about to see how God would accept me!! I have a soul!!

To be Continued?????
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---===THE Applejuice Guy===---
Like sucks, then doesn't swallow. So throw it a towel and tell it to fuck off and get out.
IP Logged
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