Welcome, Guest. Please Login or Register
TMA - Temporary Board
 
  HomeHelpSearchLoginRegister  
 
Pages: 1 2 3 4 ... 8
Send Topic Print
How's Life? (Read 9966 times)
Magnum
Admin
*****
Offline


How bout on the corner
of Fuck and No?

Posts: 5792
Fuckedville
Gender: male
Re: How's Life?
Reply #15 - 01/31/16 at 16:55:23
 
So I ran out of fucking room. Deal with it.

So after not doing the deed obviously, I tried to recover. It's helped. This is normal for us. When I say On TMA or BOG that things are going normal for me, it's a tongue in cheek thing really. I'm fucking fine. SNAFU.

But still all the while getting fucked with at work. If it wasn't General joe public out to fuck me with 4 wheels or 2 legs, it was my dispatchers and my bosses. Now these assholes where fucking with me in ways to try and get me to quit. So up untill a year ago, it all stopped. My youngest son has for the most part stopped being what he is but, he continues to test the limits still. My boys hate each other because my 1st son has had so much taken and broken by my 2nd, he has not lived a normal life. None of us have.

We can't have things in our house that normal people would have. I can't have cookies, or ice cream, or anything that is of desert status. We are lucky to any of it at all. It is a constant struggle to even have regular food in the house because our 2nd son has strange fetishes that come and go. One week we can have 2 loaves of bread in our cupboard, for the next couple months we can't keep a fucking slice of bread in the house and have to hide the fucking loaf because he'd eat it all. He will be what everyone knows as the proverbial "Man Child" and it really breaks my heart that me and the wife tried and struggled so hard to get him "normal" and failed. We are blamed for everything that he has done from those outside our circle of close friends and family. Why the hell would I want to speak of any of this with some stranger to only get some ignorant comment, or advice that I haven't quite literally gone into 100,000 of dollars in debt medically or financially? It hurt even more cutting my parents and sister out because I had no one to turn to but my wife, my best friend here in MD and honestly Xizor and Scold.

You guys are lucky I even spilled this shit honestly. I can't believe I even did. I swear to God if anyone thinks of being funny with it I'll fucking nuke you. Fucking try me. As it stands right now, if I can cut my 2nd son out of my heart, I have no qualms about smoking a mother fucker out my life that wants to disrespect me.

So yea. Nicest guy at TMA still right??  whats crazy is there is still some more that I can drop but I've taken enough time already.
Back to top
 

---===THE Applejuice Guy===---
Like sucks, then doesn't swallow. So throw it a towel and tell it to fuck off and get out.
WWW  
IP Logged
 
†Adonael
Tom Selleck's Mustache's Mustache
*******************************
Offline


One day I will be the
Chalupa king of Chalupasy.

Posts: 803
Taco hell
Re: How's Life?
Reply #16 - 01/31/16 at 17:44:38
 
Damn Magnum. It honestly surprised me you opened up so much. I'll respect you and do the same.
Back to top
 

---===Ring Master===---


The original "Bluedeath" since 19whateverthefuck.
 
IP Logged
 
NightShade
Webmaster
**********
Offline


STABBING PEOPLE IS A-OKAY!

Posts: 808
MARZ WOOP WOOP
Gender: male
Re: How's Life?
Reply #17 - 01/31/16 at 23:02:13
 
I'm sure that was difficult to type out Magnum, and I have a lot of respect for you doing so. I hope it was a little cathartic, at least. I have a cousin who is going through something similar with his son, and they don't know what the hell to do either. He goes to the bathroom in his pants at school, he doesn't understand the concept of ownership, he doesn't respond to discipline in a predictable way, etc. They're told he's autistic and needs to go to a special school, but that isn't feasible for them. Life can be a load of bullshit sometimes. I don't know all the details of the story, but I don't think it's fair to blame yourself for your son's behavior - if it's anything like my cousin's son, he was just born that way.

And just for the record, I totally understand why people are wary of over-medicating their children (especially considering how expensive it can be), but sometimes it can lead to a dramatic improvement in their life. I was diagnosed with depression as a very young child and have been on antidepressants for most of my life. At some point years ago when everything in my life was going great, I decided to try getting off of them because I didn't even remember what it was like not being on them. And it was horrible. I was depressed for no reason. It ruined everything I was previously enjoying. Medication like that isn't a crutch, it's a way to deal with something you shouldn't have had to deal with in the first place. I can't imagine what my life would have been like if I'd been that depressed the whole time.

The financial stuff sounds like a complete nightmare, and I really hate how people are hesitant to hire people that have been out of work for a while. It sounds like your wife had a completely valid reason for it but they still wouldn't give her the time of day. What kind of work does she do? Some careers are a lot easier to do in a freelance / work from home fashion, which sounds like the ideal scenario.

This post was sort of inspired by an exercise in improv class where 2 students would sit in chairs facing each other, and one would imagine the other is someone they need to talk to, alive or dead, and just vent. People really just unloaded and everybody in the class was crying and hugging each other. It was very emotionally draining but at the end of the class, we all felt closer to each other and a little better about what we were going through in part because we knew everybody else had our backs. And it seemed kind of ridiculous that I knew more about people I've known for 6 months than I do about people I've known for more than a decade and a half.

I like to think we've outgrown being assholes to each other, but of course if somebody crosses a line Mags, do what you gotta do. And if you opt to delete the message(s), that's fine too - I won't even murder you. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of that but I'm very glad you're still with us. If you ever want to talk let me know.
Back to top
 

YOU TOTALED YOUR SUSPENSION!
WWW Nanoonial  
IP Logged
 
XIZOR
Tiger Woods' golf club (which is also his penis)
*
Offline



Posts: 7956
Re: How's Life?
Reply #18 - 01/31/16 at 23:25:07
 
Even though I already knew pretty much all that stuff Mags, reading through it again is mindblowing and really rips my heart out since I consider you one of my best friends.

The fact that you've dealt with all that and never once let it shine through on here or while playing games online together, always being a nice, stand up guy, is a testament to how incredible you are as a man, a father, and a fucking human being. I know its pretty scary putting that out here and why you probably never wanted to because shit like that could and would be used as ammo when brawling on TMA, but honestly I don't think anyone would have ever, even now, make fun of you for any of that because you don't deserve it.

I do know what its like to struggle financially so I know what its like to weather those storms, but I have no idea how you dealt with the problems with your son. I don't think I would have been able to. I've tried to imagine myself in your shoes and how I would handle all that and I'm pretty sure all outcomes would have been harrowing and resulted in loss of life in some form so the fact that you can push all that aside and have such an upbeat mentality and maintain that for years is truly amazing.

I do feel a little bad for all those times, even though I was mostly just fucking with you, that I told you to shut your kid up or that he was annoying in party chat. I had no idea what you were really dealing with there and why you seemingly had no control over the situation. I know there were quite a few people over the years that didn't always like having you in party chat because of the loud kids, so once I knew your situation it was tough trying to get across why people should be a little bit more sympathetic to you without telling them all the stuff you told me in confidence. Hell, even Nightshade prodding you to spill the beans about your life I almost wanted to just say "hey, you should probably just leave that alone" so I'm a bit shocked you actually posted all that.

Even if putting all that out there doesn't necessarily make you feel better or change anything, if anything I think everyone can now view you in a completely different light and will probably have way more respect for you. Not just for saying all that, but also dealing with and never dragging anyone or this site into it.

Anyway, we still need to plan my trip up to come see you this year. Its going to happen bro. We've been friends a long time now. Its time we fully express our love. I'm still a little bit jealous that SCoLD got to tap that sweet old ass before I did.
Back to top
 

---===Asshole Of TMA===---
----===Winning===---
---===The Google Man===---
----===Admin Padawan===---
...
X1ZORTMA  
IP Logged
 
†Adonael
Tom Selleck's Mustache's Mustache
*******************************
Offline


One day I will be the
Chalupa king of Chalupasy.

Posts: 803
Taco hell
Re: How's Life?
Reply #19 - 02/01/16 at 09:02:37
 
Magnum I know you don't know me that well, but Im always around if you just need someone to shoot the shit with and destress.
Back to top
 

---===Ring Master===---


The original "Bluedeath" since 19whateverthefuck.
 
IP Logged
 
Serpentine
The cannibal who ate Verne Troyer’s innards while he was still technically alive
********************************************
Offline


I will force spiders and
badgers on the enemy.

Posts: 972
Gender: male
Re: How's Life?
Reply #20 - 02/01/16 at 10:41:15
 
Magnum, I came back here just to tell you how much I respect you for typing your heart out on here. I've always liked you and knew you were a cool dude but I never really realized how much you've gone through in your life, it just blows my mind.. It has made you into an incredible human being and father you are right now, big kudos to you. There are some things I feel like I can relate to, like getting my ass beat when I was a kid and going through financial struggles, etc..

I'll probably post my story if I feel comfortable enough or not.. I've never been that articulate with my words and I hardly ever open up about myself or my life because I usually end up either being heckled at or shrugged off.
Back to top
 

Serpentine's Crack Angels
---===TMA's Tech Wizards For Noobs===---
...
Ciauzar  
IP Logged
 
Magnum
Admin
*****
Offline


How bout on the corner
of Fuck and No?

Posts: 5792
Fuckedville
Gender: male
Re: How's Life?
Reply #21 - 02/01/16 at 11:22:51
 
Well, your shop class seemed to have worked Night. Thank You really. I find it extremely rare to see someone else having the same exact problem as me. I have also found 1 other person that has a very similar problem with his daughter, and me and him have had very long discussions, and respect. It's mind blowing when you find you are not alone because, this sh8 cray cray yo. When I ran out of characters, I sat here for a minute couldn't believing I had done so. Wasn't expecting that. So at that moment, it was either post it or delete it like I have always done. I looked up at the clock to realize I spent 2 hours of my life thinking it all out and wasn't really done. I grappled with the question did I really just waste all this time, to just delete all this? That's alot of shit I've been carrying around so I said fuck it and posted it all. It did feel good just to put it down in a post and proverbially walk away from it.

See that's the thing. I had no escape, no retreat, and no surrender, with no mercy. Between my son being who he is making my family a wreck, my jobs sucking ass because of the people in control, just money in general all my life, and the fact that it's my struggle to fix all this and me and the wife still don't know how. It was so many dr's and psychs, and school personnel that knew about us, and actually sometimes  made us the bad guys because they knew the situation intimately. If I can tell doctors in private about this whole shit, and then the school system just doesn't want to hear it, WTF makes anyone think I'm going to anyone else in the world with this looking for understanding? So for you guys to apologize makes me respect you because it is the decent thing to do but, since no one knew and there might have been some fun made, I can't get upset because how the hell could I tell anyone? You see?    

My 2nd son is now "trying" to change, and he's made improvements on his own but, I feel it's far to late. His brother hates him. He is what you would call a normal 18 yr old boy. He's what his brother should be. He's got problems too. He was also getting medicated because he would have anger issues and ADHD. He's had to suffer sleeping in the same room with him, with food, or him not showing for days. Struggling to get sleep because he'd be up at night making noise. we can't go anywhere special because when we get there, we couldn't stay long because we'd run out of spare clothes because he'd shit in them to. How would you as a kid like  always going somewhere you wanted finally, to be told we have to break it off and go home? Or get told we can't go at all because of that problem? THEN.....can't take you by yourself because if he finds out, he will retaliate. Breaking his things because he wanted them and didn't want him to have them, taking the snacks he'd hide, steal money he has earned out of the safe he would lock because he'd purposely try and find the key,and even up until recently, stalking his GF on FB and shit. If any of you had to grow up with that happening to you with your sibling for 10 years, I don't think there would be much family love either. For us, we have to lock alot of things, and hide the keys or keep them on us at all times. If it is something we can't let him have, we have to lock it in my wife's office. My controller for my X-Box, my phones, my tablets, if I want popcorn I have to keep it in there if I'm not eating it immediately. I personally had to remove myself emotionally because it's to much, and the wife is the one that gets all the stress and blame for alot of it. In the early years she took the brunt of it because I was the only one working and that pig principle had the nerve to blame her for a lot of the problems because she wasn't working.      

I really hope that is about to change though. She starts a 90 day trial job that's she's always wanted. She's been begging for a chance, and now she has a huge one. If she gets permanent, our financial aspect of our lives might finally start to get straitened out. Then that domino can fall, and I can fully repair my relationship with my parents because they have been paying my loan for over a year now. Then maybe since we can go and "enjoy life" by even going to a dinner or something, maybe my core family can heal.   

Again, thanks for reading me out. I still didn't want to type out even this much again but, I'm running out of time for work, and our biggest fear is that now she is too, our younger son will fuck this up somehow.
Back to top
 

---===THE Applejuice Guy===---
Like sucks, then doesn't swallow. So throw it a towel and tell it to fuck off and get out.
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Thrillho
Spawn of Billy Mays
******
Offline


I Love Space Jam!

Posts: 231
Re: How's Life?
Reply #22 - 02/01/16 at 13:19:04
 
That is a raw deal. Bad parents poison the well by raising children poorly. So when a child actually does have a legitimate problem, people are still quick to blame the parents. Which means people like you have to suffer with some of the school faculty thinking you're a neglectful fuckup. Because they put you in the same basket as all of the legitimately neglectful fuckups out there.

You're a good guy for hanging in there and honestly trying. A lot of people wouldn't give their kid that long to get it together. You'd think showing the money you've spent to try and remedy the problem would be enough to convince anyone you aren't just letting it ride. But there is always a lazy authoritarian asshole who thinks all problems are caused by lack of effort. Ironically those people are the lazy ones because they don't have the tact to handle each situation uniquely. They just treat every problem the same way. Typically by passing the blame to someone they have power over. In this case good parents like you because they have the power to fuck with your life.

If you were a neglectful fuck who didn't have an ounce of empathy for his kids. Their threats wouldn't mean shit. Which just highlights how fucked up the system is. Because you are trying to do the right thing. You get hammered by the system the hardest.

I hope your job situation gets better. In my experience getting a good job isn't so much about how hard you work. But how lucky you get. You can bust your ass for decades and still get the rug pulled out from under you. While some fuck knuckle who can barely work a cash register winds up winning the employment lottery. Working a steady job to the point they can actually retire.

I doubt you really need my advice on any of this. It sounds like you are already hitting all the angles and going after any opportunity you see. I encourage you to keep doing that. At the end of the day it's still a numbers game. The more opportunities you chase the more likely you are to find that one that actually works.

Whenever i feel like i can't keep going. I remember sage words that a homeless crack head told me once. "I'll have plenty of time to quit crack when I'm dead". Or in other words, no sense in giving up while you're still alive.
Back to top
 
 
IP Logged
 
NightShade
Webmaster
**********
Offline


STABBING PEOPLE IS A-OKAY!

Posts: 808
MARZ WOOP WOOP
Gender: male
Re: How's Life?
Reply #23 - 02/01/16 at 22:48:06
 
Some school systems are just the shits. I really do not understand how after going through all of that they still think you guys are to blame. Maybe it's because doing so shifts the blame away from them.

I guess it's impossible to really know what he's feeling or thinking or how he's seeing the world, and I would have no idea how to deal with that. That said, I think the fact that your son is "trying" to change is significant. That seems to demonstrate that either he's feeling empathy and/or guilt, or he is making the connection between his bad behavior and bad consequences, both of which seem like steps in the right direction.

My cousin is having some success with certain specific kinds of discipline, like I know routine is a big part of it - things have to follow an exact routine that he can follow and understand - but he still has meltdowns pretty regularly. I know they have trouble because they have to treat him differently in just about every way than his older sister because he doesn't learn/understand things the same way. She has none of those problems, and thus far only really seems to feel pity for him (at least that I can tell), but as they grow older I'm sure the resentment will come too. Still, even if rifts form, as have (understandably) between your sons, perhaps time will allow for some additional perspective and understanding.

Just to be clear, this is anecdotal and I'm sure you've already gone through everything under the sun so I'm not trying to give you advice. I don't know shit. Well, except that you're a hell of a guy for powering through all of this and the fact that you've managed to raise a relatively stable 18 year old in the midst of all of this is fantastic and commendable (ADHD is no fun but it's manageable - I don't even take anything for it anymore).

Congrats on your wife's job, that's awesome! I'm sure she'll knock it out of the park, in the same way she saws the locust horde into pieces with a lancer-chainsaw. The fact that you and your wife have endured all of this and are still together and sane speaks a lot to how strong you are as people, but you guys definitely deserve a break.
Back to top
 

YOU TOTALED YOUR SUSPENSION!
WWW Nanoonial  
IP Logged
 
†Adonael
Tom Selleck's Mustache's Mustache
*******************************
Offline


One day I will be the
Chalupa king of Chalupasy.

Posts: 803
Taco hell
Re: How's Life?
Reply #24 - 02/02/16 at 01:29:32
 
Here's more than a short paragraph out of the respect for mags.

Going as far back as I can remember I use to live in a split level condo thing. My uncles lived on the 2nd floor,  Grand parents on the first and my family in the basement.

Living there was constent drama. My uncles and thier ilk were always drinking and doing things from heroin to cocaine. I was exposed to a lot of violent situations because of this. My father often took it apon himself to resolve the situations by kicking everyones ass.

In this house was where I was molested by a female cousin. It didn't cause much issue for me. I was too young and had no idea what was going on. I didn't realize it was wrong until later in life.

My mother also caused a constant stream of her own drama by sleeping around and leaving my father broke then coming back after she coked up all her funds and try and be a family again.

Most of this time I was rasied by my sister. My dad worked a solid 22-24 hours a day so we could have whatever we wanted. Fuck if I know what my mother was doing. Despite my father working so much when he could he'd sacrificed sleep just to spend a hour or two with us kids.

Once I started school I started in a public school in south city saint louis. Being the only white kid and being a emotional child I was subject to a lot of abuse until I said fuck it and started fightong back. I ended up suspended a lot because of this and the teachers were less forgiving brcause I was white It would be a constant trend until 5th grade when I was removed and put into a private school.

I ended up getting jumped by 5 black kids from my old school because I whipped thier asses. I got my ass handed to me and my two "friends" at the time just watched.

Not long after that my father had a heart attack and stroke.  My mother ditched him in the hospital and ran off. I got sent to a uncles. Before I left I grabbed my dad for a hug sobbing and he pushed me away saying he didn't know who I was.

Stayed with my uncle for a year. Once my dads memory recovered we moved around a bit until my dad and mom decided to get back together and move to east saint louis.

My mom became even worse. Degrading everyone and at some points physically abusing me and my sister. When I hit my teen years I could really see who she was. I begged my dad to leave several times, but he just wouldn't do it.

I became severely depressed and the internet became my escape. Playing games with a friend or chat rooms. I ended up meeting a girl on the nets and we would talk for a year or so. I was 18. I flew all the way to Washington to see her I thought I was inlove. When I turned 19 I moved to Washington. Lived on a farm for while begain working nights at walmart fulltime.  Our relationship started to devolved from there. I'd get home at 7am and try and sleep she'd turn up the tv to try and wake me up.

We ended up moving into a apartment, I bought her a computer to keep her entertained while I worked because she didn't. This is around the time I found TMA for a second time and signed up.

As we grew distant the fun I had on brawl was a fun place to destress and take my mind off of things.

We ended up moving into another apartment
More affordable. Came home for lunch one night to her sucking another mans dick. I basically just walked out and went back to work.

Next day I lost my shit. She started attacking me and xalling me a worthless fuck. Which I've always felt like because of my mother so that set me off. She slapped the shit out of me and I reflex smacked her. She then ran around telling everyone I abused her. The people that knew me knew it was a lie. Few holes in the wall and a lot of mental scars later I left TMA, I left Washington and went back home.

Few months later I met Holly we started dating. I got atrached to her two week old son. No matter how hard I tried her mother hated me because I didn't make good money and she swore I was retared. I switch jobs several times to try and please them both. We ended up moving a while later to a apartment, got engaged and things were going good for awhile. She lost her job, I started working two jobs and the 4 hours I had off I had to clean house and take care of my stepson. I also sold my whole gaming collection to by her wedding ring.

Despite doing all this for her it came to a point where she wanted a break. I found out later she found a man with a bigger pocket book. So we ended up splitting up. One night not soon after she called him right next to me and said some pretty ignorant stuff. Next day I bought two bottles of vodka and started drinking. I finished one whole bottle and half of the other before it hit me. She came home and laughed at me as I layed on the ground in my own vomit. I kept trying to tell her I needed to go to the hospital but I couldn't speak. She ended up calling my father.  He came and cleaned me up and took me home. All I remember was saying I didn't want to live anymore. I've only seen that man cry three times. One was when someone shot his dog and the other was when my Grandma died.

I lost everything when me and Holly split. Car home, etc.

Few months later my highschool sweetheart  came back into my life.  I was a little weary about dating her at first, but those old feelings came back and I feel inlove. Deeply.

At one point I walked five hours to her house just to comfort her because her abusive ex was threating her.

My fathers girlfriend started giving him grief about me living there and she would text me at work and tell me I was killing him because I needed a ride at 4 am to go to work. I moved out because it was coming to the point my dad would have to choose between me or her, so I removed myself from the equation. A don has no right to come inbetween him and his woman.

I ended up living with highschool at her mothers and her true colors started to show. She was drinking and popping pills left and right. One night she told me she smoked some fake weed and I said "I'd rather be in a little pain than be high all the time.
 
Segway:

When I was 15 I fractured my knee and tore a ligament. I never got it looked at. From time to time it would hurt so bad I couldn't walk, but I managed anyway.

She said I was being ignorant, told me she loved someone else. Next day she told me she was pregnant and didn't want to be with me any longer.

I moved out. Moved in with "friends", started working at walmart and drinking constantly. I would text her everyonce in a blue moon to tell her I loved her and I still wanted to fix our family. Somehow this equated to me being a manipulative controlling piece of shit who was no better than her abusive ex.

So I said fuck it I was done. I talked to this girl at walmart and she was alright. She told me her parents kicked her out so I offered her my bed and I slept on the floor. I woke up and she was talking to my roommates and they moved her in assuming she was my girlfriend.

That lasted all of a week untill my roommate fucked her. She got kicked out by his pregnant old lady and I cut them both off I said fuck it I'm done with people.

By this time me and my ex were talking again. She needed help with her son so I rode my bike 10 miles a few times to help her out. Wrecked my bike once on the way at 35 miles an hour. After that I still went anf helped her orgnize her room for our child and set up the crib. She asked me to stay the night two nights in a row. We cuddled.

The third day I was sitting in the living room and some random guy showed up. My stomach wretched. She told me she was fucking him and if she decided to stay with him he would be my daughters step child.

I went home that night and drankmore than usual. The next day I was wasted, sitting in my floor trying to load my beretta. The girl that fucked my roommate showed up to pick up some of her stuff and caught me in the act.

I went unemployed for a few months and sold of a lot of my belongings to make ends meet. Quit drinking completely and started trying to rebuild myself. I cut off all ties with everyone except for my dad, my sister and my best friend who lives too far away and completely relied on just myself to get my head straight for my daughter.

Her mother is a pain in the ass and puts me in emotional situations and stresses me out.

Most recently my roommates seperated. I didn't have anywhere to go so I was homeless for awhile. She told me I was a piece of shit father for not watching our daughter so she could go party when she knew my fucking situation. I had to get myself off the street. I needed a home for me and my daughter.

I love her to death. I've walked 4 hours for that little girl to see her every day until my health got to a point I could no longer do it. I bought her diapers and formula untill her mother got on welfare and started living of the state.

And just today, I got a apartment, my car is getting fixed. I have a 34 yearold woman I am quite interested in and see her as much as possible. Things are looking up, but highschool wont let it stay that way for long. She doesn't understand that I only keep contact and deal with her because I love my daughter not her.

A problem I have is I struggle with who I am and who I use to be. I was a lying thieving prick who only cared about himself, but as I got older became empathetic, and a all around better man trying to improve myself.

But the reason is I feel like a worthless piece of shit who doesn't matter. So I do what I can to change that. I like to entertain people keep them happy so they don't ever feel like I have. It's a strange thing.


There you go. There is everything
Back to top
 

---===Ring Master===---


The original "Bluedeath" since 19whateverthefuck.
 
IP Logged
 
Magnum
Admin
*****
Offline


How bout on the corner
of Fuck and No?

Posts: 5792
Fuckedville
Gender: male
Re: How's Life?
Reply #25 - 02/02/16 at 12:29:15
 
Which means people like you have to suffer with some of the school faculty thinking you're a neglectful fuckup. Because they put you in the same basket as all of the legitimately neglectful fuckups out there.

They just treat every problem the same way. Typically by passing the blame to someone they have power over. In this case good parents like you because they have the power to fuck with your life.

Thanks Bent. Your 100% correct. It's bad enough that we can't control him doing that, than me and the wife getting grilled with questions like are we physically, mentally, or sexually abusing him? These are just standard questions. I must've gotten asked about sexually abusing him more than a dozen times before I got really angry and made sure they understood the answer was undoubtedly no.   


That said, I think the fact that your son is "trying" to change is significant. That seems to demonstrate that either he's feeling empathy and/or guilt, or he is making the connection between his bad behavior and bad consequences, both of which seem like steps in the right direction.

This is true. That's what we have been looking for 10 fucking years ago. It's all well and good but, There has been so much damage (even me personally) I feel it can be to late. Sure time heals. It's going to take alot I'll tell you that.

Your cousin is going through exactly what I have been dealing with. It's so fucked up to know there is another set of parents dealing with this. My sympathy and heart goes to them because I'm quite sure they think they are alone with this unique issue. They are not. I think I said I found someone I work with that has a similar problem with his older daughter, and his youngest is perfectly fine. At least his daughter didn't shit her pants until she was 10. He couldn't believe we dealt with that.

Routine is a huge part of my son's life, and it keeps him docile but, having your face crammed into a console, or phone playing games isn't the fix. We've tried to get him into other things to no avail. He ruins shit on purpose to not do anything but games, and we don't have the time, money, or resources anymore to try and change it. 


Just to be clear, this is anecdotal and I'm sure you've already gone through everything under the sun so I'm not trying to give you advice. I don't know shit. Well, except that you're a hell of a guy for powering through all of this and the fact that you've managed to raise a relatively stable 18 year old in the midst of all of this is fantastic and commendable (ADHD is no fun but it's manageable - I don't even take anything for it anymore).

Thanks Night. Don't worry about any kind of advice or whatever. All you're doing is trying to objectively understand, and that's all I can ask for. We have thought, tried, heard it all, and I would be blown away to hear of something new that could solve this. Deprogramming, Psychological, or even medication. Problem is, he's taken alot of drugs and some of them have had really bad side effects. One was he didn't sleep for a couple days. We had to argue tooth and nail to get him off that shit. We also had to fight to keep my oldest son of meds because they were trying to medicate him, and he didn't really need it but, lashing out because of whats going on.


A problem I have is I struggle with who I am and who I use to be. I was a lying thieving prick who only cared about himself, but as I got older became empathetic, and a all around better man trying to improve myself.

But the reason is I feel like a worthless piece of shit who doesn't matter. So I do what I can to change that. I like to entertain people keep them happy so they don't ever feel like I have. It's a strange thing.


There you go. There is everything.

Like I said in a previous reply. No amount of head games, drama, or what have you is worth the pain. You have to find someone that is stable. (If that's the right word) Unfortunately you have a child in the middle of it but, so long as you show to her that she means the world to you like you say she does, what her mother says or does won't means shit in the end really. Just like when you grew up to see your mom for what she was, or my dad.

It's a different road of suffering but, it still leads in the same direction of self destruction. I keep being told it will get better, and things will change. I've always had to quietly laugh at that because I have a very hard time believing it. I know have a spark with my wife FINNALY having a chance a company is giving her to have a stable job after 15 years. I guess I can cliche' you and say hang in there man. You say you also have that small spark as well.
I get told to make it brighter. I'd love to but I'm working with 2 sticks here.

Can someone toss me a match maybe?? LOL
Back to top
 

---===THE Applejuice Guy===---
Like sucks, then doesn't swallow. So throw it a towel and tell it to fuck off and get out.
WWW  
IP Logged
 
Thrillho
Spawn of Billy Mays
******
Offline


I Love Space Jam!

Posts: 231
Re: How's Life?
Reply #26 - 02/02/16 at 19:34:14
 
I know all about how shitty the schools are. When i was in high school i skipped class frequently. Because it was fucking boring and at best it was daycare for teenagers. So what did the school do to stop me?

They gathered all of the parents of kids like me who skipped in an auditorium. Then basically threatened to throw them all into jail if the kids kept missing class.

Was it legal? Who knows. The parents there couldn't afford legal advice. I'm sure if you were rich enough you could just pay a fine and skip whatever bullshit they were pushing. But they knew most of those parents couldn't afford it.

Honestly I'm sure that legal threat resulted in a lot of beatings. Cause what else could you do? If your kid isn't going to listen to teachers, and if you telling them not to skip doesn't work. How can they expect you to remedy that situation non violently? These weren't kids with disabilities either they just flat out didn't give a fuck. Most of them were from poor families and probably only even showed up at the start of the day for the free government sponsored breakfast.

I was just an anti authoritarian prick who didn't see the value in learning history out of a government regulated book. Personally the legal threat against my family pissed me off so much i researched home schooling solutions. Then I finished off High School via a distance learning program. They mailed me the assignments and i took tests at the local university. Since i knew proctors through some of my offline shenanigans. It worked out perfectly.

But it's not like you have that option. You and your wife have to work. If you gave your kid those studies and assignments it probably wouldn't go anywhere. Also if you could afford a tutor/babysitter. You probably wouldn't have him in publics schools at all.

The whole situation is a god damn disgrace. The school system has been shit since before i was even born. But it's clearly only getting worse. I bet that administrator cunt makes twice as much as any of the teachers too. It's literally just minimum security prison for teens at this point. They pay the admin more money because it's not about education anymore. It's about power through authority.

Power over the kids and especially the parents. They want you under their thumb. They want you to beat your child just to the right degree so he isn't visibly harmed, but still terrified of being disobedient. They want to twist your arm until you apply just the right level of corporal punishment. So it makes their jobs easier.

I have nothing but hate for our countries educational system. Even colleges are starting to go fucking crazy. These kids won't be prepared for anything. At best we're raising a generation of "Yes men" who cannot handle conflict because they aren't smart enough to.
Back to top
 
 
IP Logged
 
Skywalker
The Ghost of Lance Armstrong's Cancer
*******
Offline



Posts: 383
Re: How's Life?
Reply #27 - 02/02/16 at 22:26:26
 
Work full time and school full time.


I also stopped paying my internet bill months ago. Sucks but on the bright side I discovered my school has the fastest internet I ever experienced. What use to take 6-8 hours for uploading 1 gig now takes a few minutes. Even if I had internet I'd still come here for my uploads.

Good news to hear others are doing well for themselves. Unfortunately I was only able to scan over it because I'm very crunched for time but wanted to respond. As it is I have to study for a computer class but look forward to reading it sometime. It's also uncomfortable here in the library since I'm sure other people are reading this. Not only that but the computers are closely monitored too, but the biggest thing is time.

I'm finishing my 2 year then moving onto a 4 year.

Still work with a crew for a contractor restoring antique houses.

Haven't met the girl of my dreams yet but I'll try to remember to post when I do.

I miss gaming very much. Think I might move to steam entirely when I get back into it. The prices of being on console now is just flat out wrong.

I'm still in the middle of doing the engine swap. I got the cavalier motor out. Now need to pull the grand am motor which has a auto trans, which, turns out to be so big it's nearly the size of the engine. The manual trans that dropped out of the cavalier only weighed 80lbs and can be picked up. Didn't see that coming, so that project is on hold until spring or summer.

I also miss Twisted Metal and noticed I missed a few tmbo events Cry

Back to top
 

......
 
IP Logged
 
†Adonael
Tom Selleck's Mustache's Mustache
*******************************
Offline


One day I will be the
Chalupa king of Chalupasy.

Posts: 803
Taco hell
Re: How's Life?
Reply #28 - 02/02/16 at 23:41:46
 
Good to see you back Skywalker. I missed youuuuu.
Back to top
 

---===Ring Master===---


The original "Bluedeath" since 19whateverthefuck.
 
IP Logged
 
Skywalker
The Ghost of Lance Armstrong's Cancer
*******
Offline



Posts: 383
Re: How's Life?
Reply #29 - 02/03/16 at 18:26:18
 
I feel like I should apologize for my lame post but it's the truth. At home I would pour over this site and write out good or decent replies, but I can't see doing that here with so many students and staff looking on. I'll try to read everything though.









I missed when HB came back. How come you're not using your original avatar/screen name? Btw you're my idol in a lot of ways on YouTube. Great work.

Magnum I'd like to hear that story of when you met your wife. The situation with your 5 year old sounds insane. The dirty underwear analogy was hilarious though.
Back to top
 

......
 
IP Logged
 
Pages: 1 2 3 4 ... 8
Send Topic Print