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The final hours. (The fall of Simplicity) (Read 3186 times)
Michael Jackson's Nose

That's my hammer...

Posts: 438
The NY welfare office.
Gender: male
The final hours. (The fall of Simplicity)
06/07/12 at 17:55:28
Mags fanfics were so brilliant that I wanted to do one like his. Now, I'm not as gifted at this kind of writing like he is so its not too good, but there is some funny parts. So heres my Magnum inspired fanfic.

It was a stressful month at TMA, as the excitement for Tmps3 was rising. The upcoming game brought many new comers to the forums, almost all were respectful new members. All but one! Simplicity was the tards name, and he brought the darkest fourteen hours TMA has saw since Blair. This time went mainly unnamed. But some called it Fag Fest, 2012.

It was just another day in the city. Everyone was having drinks at the bar discussing the new twisted metal demo.

Vadimony: yeah, this games going to be so great. Reapers defiantly going to be my main.

Maartyrr: you all suck ass! I can't get one match with all these fucking errors!

Vad, downs a shot of  Jäger: What are you talking about man! Everybody else is getting on, just keep trying.

Maart, frustrated as fuck: I try, and try and try, but it keeps...

Before he could finish his sentence the bar door slams open. A shadowy figure is standing under a blinking light. The faint smell of fag can be smelt in the air.

Kilrahi gives the eye to the figure and finishes his beer.

Hellbent: this ain't going to be good!

Nobody likes the look of the guy, not even the new guys.

Magnum(the barkeep): hey man,(he says suspiciously) what can I getcha. 

The figure looks up, he's a young kid. He has the look of trouble on his face. Mags seen this look before.

Simplicity: I'll have a zima!

The bar goes silent. A shot glass breaks and everyone's asshole is clenched tight, waiting for the next move.

Mag, shocked as ever looks around at the bottom shelf. He grabs a dusty old bottle, brings it up to his face and wipes it off.

Mag: umm, here you go?

Simplicity walks to the nearest table. Not even a thank you for the grose bottle of jizz watter.

Xizor: Hey Fags, oops I mean Mags, I didn't know your place carried queer juice!

Everyone laughs!

Simplicity sits down, and the table he chose was the FA_Q clans table (with Hellbent as a guest.) 

Maart still frustrated: so simplicity, you play the demo?

Simplicity sips his fag sweat: yeah, yes I have. And all you fucks suck at it.


Simplicity: you all are a bunch of jokes, a ten man Alabama circle jerk.

Obliverate: yeah, 1,000 members. Some circle jerk.

Every one else joins in, trying to bring this guy down, but the strangest thing happens. As they insult him it doesn't bring the queer down, in fact they were making him bigger, stronger, and uglier.

Many gave up and went home. Maartyrr checked out and went home to try and get on the server.
Mag put in his two cents but gave up and hid behind the counter in curled up  holding a bottle of Jim beam. 
It was total chaos in the bar.

Vad, and hellbent snuck away, they got Mag from behind the counter. 

Vad: Mag! We need to go!

Mag: Were the fuck is there to go! All the other moderators are on vacation, I can't get ahold of guys with banning abilities, and this place is so spammed the only way to clean it up is by nuking the place!

Vad: or build a new one!

Hb&Mag: What!

Vad: tell you soon. Is there a way out of here?

Mag: actually, yes there is.

Mag grabs an old bottle of wine on the shelf, he pulls it revealing a secret passage under the floor.

All three run through closing it tightly behind them. 

Mag: I installed that just for an occasion like this, and to get the whores out quickly if the wife shows up.

Hellbent: ok, so why am I here instead of brawling with that zima loving fag?

Vad: because you have the fire power big enough to blow his ass up.

Hellbent: oh I see. This guy loves our TMA dick so much, I'll give him a redrocket he'll never forge...

Mag: stop right there. Vad what did you say a minute ago, something about building a new place?

Vad: ok here's the plan....

Vad whispers the plan, Mag and hellbent's eyes light up.

Back at the bar simplicity has turned into a fat, Jaba the Hut, full of grose zits. 

Simplicity: you guys suck dick, you all fight like pussies too. I will kick your asses...

Mag: are you sure this will work?

Vad: I know it will work, this guys just too much of an attention whore to ignore this. Now get over there and start to clean up your place, me and hellbent will take care of the rest!

Mag: hey, we're is hellbent?

Vad: Go!

Mag rushes over. The shit really hit the fan, I mean literally there was shit all over the walls and ceiling! 

Mag:Fuck! I gotta clean this up, I wish I just nuked the damn place!

Hey, fuck nuts! ( simplicity looks over, drooling gross ooze) OH GAWD, yeah you, you fat ugly fuck! Look over there!

Mag points across the street at a gay bar that has simplicity's name all over it.

Simplicity: Fuck yes, I'm in town less that two hours and I've already made this much of an impact.

Simplicity slugs his way out of the bar leaving a slimy shit trail.

At the gay bar across Vad and Hellbent are waiting.

Vad: Get ready man, his fat ass is coming!

Simplicity breaks through the wall.

Simplicity: well, well. Looks like you fags like me after all!

Hellbent: hey butt fuck, I know you love our dick so much! WELL CHOKE ON THIS!!! 

Hellbent is sitting on a nuke crudely painted to look like a... Well you get the point. But Simplicity can't tell a difference. 

The fat fag grabs the "redrocket" and starts gulping the crude chode down.

Hellbent, still riding the end of the nuke: WooooYeah swallow my dick! you know you want it.

Simplicity finishes with a smile on his face. Vad and hellbent are amazed that he fell for it

Vad: should we run now?

Hb: fuck, we should of been in Mexico by now!

They both run out the door ducking in the bar.

Hb: get the fuck down!

BOOM! Simplicity blew up sending gross white puss everywhere!

Mag: Fuck!!! Now I've gotta clean this, fuck it I'm saving that for Arch!

Xizor gets up and faces the crowd.

Xiz: Welcome to Fag Fest 2012!
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Hurricane Wrangler

PSN: SpeedPhreak2010

Posts: 162
Re: The final hours. (The fall of Simplicity)
Reply #1 - 06/07/12 at 20:16:15
Grin Funny on an epic scale, man. Loved it. Just when I was about to pop in show him who's boss. And by that, I mean have him witness my 3 level Napalm Blood Missiles from Death Warrant, and lose an insult battle with the fastest and one of the youngest TMA drivers, Tazz!
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---===FA_Q's "Speed Demon"===---
---===The OTHER Car Guy===---
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How bout on the corner
of Fuck and No?

Posts: 5883
Gender: male
Re: The final hours. (The fall of Simplicity)
Reply #2 - 06/08/12 at 07:09:52
LOL! Very strange.....good read and props for "cumming" up with it. I liked it.

Good stuff man and appriciate the props. Funny about the backdoor for hookers.  You only failed on one thing though. I'm far to Alpha now to be needing much help. Just a few dirty pairs and some hookers and I'm good.

I haven't had the insperation to write for a long time now. I still have TM Charactor fics from old TMA in my head that I've wanted to re-write and never got around to it.

I dunno. Maybe the bug will bite me again.
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---===THE Applejuice Guy===---
Like sucks, then doesn't swallow. So throw it a towel and tell it to fuck off and get out.
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Re: The final hours. (The fall of Simplicity)
Reply #3 - 06/09/12 at 10:58:45
Haha. Pretty good. Now you need to do one about the fall of heartbreak.
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Hurricane Wrangler

PSN: SpeedPhreak2010

Posts: 162
Re: The final hours. (The fall of Simplicity)
Reply #4 - 06/09/12 at 11:56:43
Haha. Pretty good. Now you need to do one about the fall of heartbreak.

Tazz: (Prepares Death Warrant for possible battle) Wink
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---===FA_Q's "Speed Demon"===---
---===The OTHER Car Guy===---
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