Big Mac

Driver:  Officer Big Mac

Officer Big Mac was once known as the chief of police of McDonaldland.   He spent most of his time chaosing down villains such as Hamburglar and Captain Crook.  Unfortunatly, he was removed from his position after a pair of crackhead brothers and a dragon who was mayor of a faraway land caused a lawsuit that forever changed the magical place.  Now, decades after that event, Officer Big Mac is back and out for blood.

Vehicle: Police Paddywagon

Big Mac stole this prisoner transport from the LAPD when their mascot, The Crime Dawg, was planned to enter.  Its Special Weapon is a taser built into the rooftop sirens that's like a vehicular electric chair, keep pushing the button to pump in more voltage and do more damage than a Monster Thickburger can do to the human heart.

ENDING:

(The police paddwagon speeds into Calypso's lair and stops near him as Officer Big Mac steps out.)

Calypso:  Well, that's a twist.  I was expecting some hot shop police mascot to be driving that.

Big Mac:  Really?  Well, I guess you were mistaken, Calypso.

Calypso:  Indeed I was, Officer Big Mac.  Either way, you have won Twisted Metal, so feel free to claim your pirze.

(A panel opens up in the wall to reveal H.R. Pufnstuf strapped to a lethal injection table.  Big Mac goes there and looks at the dragon.)

Big Mac:  Look at him, trying to struggle out to find his lawyers.  There's no justice for you this time, you pothead.

(Big Mac took the lethal injection needles and stabbed them all into Pufnstuf's arm.  Special sauce, tartar sauce, and horsey sause was injected into him. )

Big Mac:  Your stoner heart just got a Big Mac Attack.

(Soon, Pufnstuf was dead as blood vomit leaked through the gag on his mouth.  Big Mac enters his vehicle and leaves.)

Calypso:  Now that this year's contest is over, I think I'll get me a hambuger to chow on.

(Calypso leaves the area.  Screen goes black as a car engine is heard starting.)