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CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds (Read 11417 times)
Dim Shades -
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CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
02/07/11 at 03:11:50
 
“CPF/TMA: The Tale of Two Worlds”
In his bedroom, a young man about twenty years old is sleeping, dreaming the sweetest of dreams – dreams that involve chicks, sex, beer and apple pie. Real America – not this socialistic cum guzzling of today – back when America was about getting some “pie” and falling for the girl, getting the picket fence and 2.5 children. As he delved into his dreamlike state, he began to see the girl of his dreams – a girl with dark locks and complexion with a big “L” on her green shirt.

“Hello Sean.” said the girl as she motioned her finger for him to ‘come hither’. “I’ve been waiting for you!” as she unleashed a smile so killer it possibly inspired the cheesy 80’s song, “When I See You Smile”.

“Hello, L.” said Sean Algier as he wore a white button up with a pink bow tie. “It’s been a long time. Anyway –“

Sean’s dreamlike imagery was shattered as CPF walks into his bedroom chewing on beef jerky in one hand and holding a flashlight in the other.

“Damn it, CPF!” screamed Sean as he picked up his clock radio and seen it was 3am. “I was about to make my move.”

“Sorry, kid.” Replied CPF as he smiled devilishly. “Had to make sure you weren’t tugging on the hambone in your sleep again. God knows how bad it was here last time.”

“Shut up.”

“No, really.” Replied CPF as he ranted. “If you had a black light and an imagination, it would look like those glow in the dark stars those parents get their effeminate little punk kids.”

Algier looked down and sighed.

“You don’t know what its like to be alone, CPF.” Replied Sean Algier. “Somewhere in the world right now, someone is getting laid. Hell, somewhere right now, some lucky fellow is getting to bang his girlfriend in the ass and get sucked OFF afterwards.”

CPF began to let his sympathetic side flow as he leveled with Algier.

“Dude, anal is overrated.” Said CPF. “It’s like putting your dick in an ant farm or a litter box – it’s got a gritty feel to it – like “Sin City”.

“That doesn’t matter!” screamed Algier as he broke down and cried. “I’m sick of being alone – I’m 20 years old and have only had one true love – Carol.”

“Look at the bright side, man.” replied CPF as he began to lightly punch his erect penis through his pants. “Carol left you because she’s a stupid bitch – stupid people end up marrying millionaires, ok? You a millionaire?”

As CPF sighed, shook his head and walked out of the room, Sean Algier looked out his window and looked toward a twinkling star with tears rolling down his eyes like a porn facial gone awry.

“God” he said. “If there is a God, I do not want wealth or friends – I just want the chick from my dreams to be real. So many nights, lord, I get tired of having wet dreams when I could have some wet realities. Enough is enough.”

[Algier’s house – 8:30 AM]

Algier walks down the stairs and sees Cory and Fixxor both playing the Z-Box.

“Hows it going, Sean?” said Cory as he focused his attention back on the game. “Been to pussy heaven lately?”

“Dude.” said Fixxor. “I just ate bacon about five minutes ago” as he looked at Cory.
Cory strutted a look of surprise.

“What the hell does that have to do with anything?” replied Cory who hit pause. “This is why I get women and you don’t. Fat fuck.”

As Sean pushes onto the swinging kitchen door, he sees CPF wearing an apron as he cooks eggs while smiling. Sean looks at him then grabs a handful of bacon.

“You fag!” said CPF. “Don’t bogart all the bacon.” as he smacked his hand.

“This is probably a dumb question, man, but where do you find girls?” asked Sean as he pulled out a notepad and pencil.

“Uh, I usually meet chicks at bars.” Said CPF. “Cory meets chicks at tractor pulls and rap concerts – Fixxor? He meets his hand and dick every night while he’s crying himself to sleep.”

“Fuck you” screamed Fixxor from the distance.

“Love you too” replied CPF as he flipped the eggs over with the confidence of a Sushi chef. “The thing is, man – you can’t be blasting Gary Puckett from your bedroom and expect to find a chick. You must search, young Algier.”

[9:51 A.M.]

CPF is driving in his fire engine red Corvette convertible, Algier in the passenger side with Cory and Fixxor in the back. CPF swerves off the stretch of highway and approaches a ‘Taco Smell’ restaurant, famous for their substandard Mexican ‘cuisine’. As they pull up to the drive-thru menu, everyone but Fixxor is in general agreement with what they want to eat.

“Alright. Everyone ready to order?” asked CPF as everyone but Fixxor nodded.

Fixxor looks the menu up and down, slightly tilting his head to the right with his mouth slightly agape.
“Dude, pick something off the fucking menu already.” Said CPF whose patience was flattening out like Paris Hilton’s ass. “You have 2 seconds before I order, bitch.”

“Ok, I know what I want.” Said Fixxor, his facial expression speaking the opposite. “I’ll just take a taco supreme.”

“Dude, you’ll eat it in three bites and be hungry again in five minutes.” Said Cory, looking at Fixxor with pissed off, piercing eyes. “Happens every god damn time we come here.” As he began to trail out his speech.

“Thanks, man.” Said CPF to the drive-thru clerk as he handed the bag to Algier who doled out the meals to everyone.

As CPF began to step on the gas…

“GOD DAMN IT!” screams Fixxor which prompts CPF to hit the brakes and forces the taco to smash against the inside of the windshield – sour cream, lettuce, beef and all.

“You fucking fag.” Said CPF who eyeballed the mess. “You better be dying for something this serious.”

“Dude, it is serious.” Said Fixxor who was getting equally angry. “There was god damn sour cream in it, you idiot. I didn’t want sour cream in it.”

“Looks like the wad of cum I shot into that Mexican chicks ass back in 91” quipped Cory as he smiled and lit up a cig. He then looked at CPF who was visually pissed off – “Oh, but sorry about your interior though, man.”

They all drive off into the expansive, never ending void of highway. The traffic blends from the congestion of the urban hood to the borderline desolate regions of the rural back roads of America.

“How fast can this Matchbox go?” asked Cory, attempting to set CPF off. “Can’t drive 55, you dried up old bastard.”

“Try 115, fag.” Said CPF as he gunned it on the gas.

As the car began to accelerate PAST the 115 mark, a gaping black hole with a blue border, somewhere reminiscent of a porno and a mid-90’s angelfire webpage appears that sucks the Corvette along with CPF, Algier, Cory and Fixxor in.

As they travel through the black hole, they literally see their lives flash before their eyes. CPF witnesses the first time he finger banged a chick, Cory witnesses his first drunken stupor…Fixxor simply sees himself getting laughed at every day of his life as Algier once again sees the woman from his dreams appear – this time in an Iron Maiden shirt that is large enough to cover her front and rear….

The car breaks out of the black hole and appears in a town symbolic of Vegas – bright lights everywhere, people drunk in the streets smiling, the occasional religious nut forcing others to repent – the town was an acronym that was foreign to even the most net-savvy cell phone text smith: TMA.

To be continued…

[I'll try to have a continuation up every weekend. I would write more into it and 'introduce' TMA but if I don't submit it tonight in some form...it will literally sit on my PC for about six months untouched and be shelved]
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Dim Shades -
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Re: CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
Reply #1 - 02/09/11 at 03:24:47
 
“What the hell is ‘TMA’?” asked Algier, scratching his head in bewilderment. “What a weird acronym.”

“It probably means ‘tongue my ass’.” Said Cory who let out a half chuckle as he loosened his belt. “Get at it, Fixxor.”

A moderately tall gentleman, about five-foot-ten with a small, conservative looking afro reminiscent of Mike Brady from the ‘Brady Bunch’ wearing purple star shaped sunglasses and a “Alice Cooper – ‘Trash the World’ ‘89” shirt walks up.

“Hello strangers.” Said the gentlemen in a friendly, welcoming manner. “Welcome to TMA.”

“Who the fuck are you?” asked CPF, who was in a state somewhere between edgy and scared. “What planet are we on?”

“My name is Magnum.” Said the gentleman who cracked a friendly smile. “You are on the planet Earth, dude. Get a map.”

Magnum looked at CPF, Fixxor, Cory and Algier and began a small rant.

“TMA is a lot like any other civilized town or country – do whatever the fuck you want as long as it is peaceful. We have a varied crop of citizens here.”

Magnum points to a faraway in the distance area where a lone, rickety church stands.

“That is the fundamentalist district – its population is very small and is not representative of TMA in general or Christians in general. In fact, it is a love nest for using force to change the moral standpoint of the community. Quite a few kooks over there.”

“And what is that lush district over there?” asked Fixxor, his eyes widening. “Some rich older babes live over there – so I can dupe them out of their will?”

“That is the ‘Obama Nation’ district.” Replied Magnum. “It’s essentially the fundamentalist district – except composed of upper-middle class white liberals who live in gated communities and cry for economic inequality…”

“And as for this patch you’re standing in, this is the general population of TMA – fun loving, decent people who are simply ‘in the middle’. We accept anyone of any religion, sexual orientation, social class [rich, poor, etc] and have a general live and let live attitude….we have gambling casinos, legal prostitution, a chapel for same-sex marriages, internet gaming cafes, bars, we have it all. And everyone is allowed to feast on the fruits of life here.”

“Wow, man. This is like heaven on Earth.” Said CPF, his eyes getting big and smile getting wide. “Is there any place we can stay for the night? Our car is pretty much fucked up, man and we need some rest.”

“The Brawl Bar and Motor Lodge is a nice little place – have some hard liquor and rest on the nicest of beds.”

The four both nod and wave goodbye to Magnum as they advance to the ‘Brawl’. The exterior was nothing special – it possessed a hint of the exterior of Moe’s Tavern off The Simpsons – except the second floor was an ordinary looking motel with flickering red light lettering that simply said ‘Brawl’. As the four enter, they see a colorful crop of individuals of both sexes mingling, laughing, dancing and downing the booze as if it were water in an endless desert.

CPF looks at the other three then wanders off into the crowd. As he looks on, he sees a tall, shirtless man about 6’8’’ with long brown hair and a killer beard hopping on a pogo stick on the bar while holding a microphone in his free hand.

“Hello, fuckers. I’m your resident maniac and host, Hellbent.” Said the bearded man. “I see some new faces in here I might possibly fuck up. If anyone disturbs the peace, I will fuck you in the face until you’re good and dead. Word to your mother.” He then drops the microphone on the floor, grabs a bottle of high grade whiskey and downs it like water.

Sean Algier looks across the bar and behind the counter, there she was, the girl of his dreams. In his view, everyone disappeared from the bar except for him and her. He scans her from her poofed out ‘pigtails’ down to the last piece of eye candy being the pierced navel. Her somewhat dark complexion made him yearn for sweet love.

“Holy shit.” Said Algier, his eyes bugged out with disbelief. He walks to the bar, his eyes not losing track of her as he walks into the bar stool, catching her attention and forcing him to pay closer attention.

“Can I help you, handsome?” asked the girl, sporting her pearly whites. “I haven’t seen you from around here before.”

“No, I just came into town with some friends.” Replied Algier, face slightly red with embarrassment. “My name’s Sean.”

“Linda.” She replied as she poured him a glass of milk. “Linda P.”

As Sean began to form his next sentence, Cory casually shoulders Sean over and begins to make his move.

“Hey baby, you an astronomer?” asked Cory, with a smile so confident, it was sickening. “Because I caught you scoping out my big dipper.”

CPF walks up and shoulders Cory out of the way.

“The only big dipper you have, fag, is when your father pries his penis head into your ass crack and bakes it into brownies.” Quips CPF who winks at Algier and pushes away Cory.

“What a piece of wigger slime.” Said Linda, curling her lip in disgust. “Idiots think just because I work in a bar that I’m some ditzy wino slut who spreads her legs for any dick with legs that waltzes in.”

“Yeah, he’s been that way as long as I’ve known him.” Said Sean, also visually disgusted. “Girls where I come from tend to love his cockiness.”

“I can’t stand guys who think with their dick.” Replied Linda. “They just see a vagina as a point on a scoreboard. I’d like to cut them off at their brain stem…”

“If I’m too forward, let me know.” Said Sean, visually timid as he was half looking at his shoes and half looking in her face. “Maybe before I head back home somehow, we could go out and eat or something.”

“That’s cool.” Said Linda, eyes lit up. “I’ll give you a tour of town while you’re here, also – let you see all the sights.”

Fixxor walks up to a crowd where Hellbent is telling one of his many stories.

“Ya see. I was riding my motorcycle down the sidewalk and this Volvo driving little yuppie bastard ran me down. I got up, limp as a fucking wet towel. The son of a bitch was obviously scared shitless. I asked the bug eyed, Jeff Goldblum looking cocksucker to roll down his window. As soon as he rolled down the window, I pulled my shirt up and showed him my chest to throw him off guard. You know what I did next? I punched him in the god damn throat. As he was gasping for air, I unlocked his door, pulled him out and kicked him in his rib cage until he was crying like a little fucking fairy. He bellowed and cried “I’m sorry, Mr. Hellbent.” I just spat in his face and said “Sorry your dad didn’t pull out in time, you little fucking weasel.” Then I walked off and got a burger – then fell asleep.

“If this guy is not a god, I don’t know who is.” Said Fixxor who hung on every word. “The definitive bad ass.”
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Re: CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
Reply #2 - 02/10/11 at 13:54:48
 
I'm bumping this.

I don't get on this board often, and have yet to read it Dim.

I'll get you my 2 cents when I get paid. Ok?
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Re: CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
Reply #3 - 02/10/11 at 17:14:03
 
That's cool. It's still a work in progress. I figure I will just tack on larger bits of the story as I go along. I realized if I didn't post something pertaining to it soon it would just collect dust on my PC and never get going.
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Re: CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
Reply #4 - 02/10/11 at 18:45:38
 
Worth a read. Had me laughing at some parts. Can't wait for Part 3.
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Re: CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
Reply #5 - 02/12/11 at 14:42:34
 
Fucking shit dude. I finnaly got the time to sit down and soak this in.

Goddammit Dim.....you'd better fucking finish this.

CPF & Team Fortress meets TMA. This is gonna be a serious classic contender.

Don't leave us hanging from your nutsack ya bastard.
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Re: CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
Reply #6 - 02/14/11 at 01:59:58
 
Hellbent looks over at Fixxor who is making no attempt to hide his ogling eyes. Hellbent cracks a half smile and then looks at the crowd then Fixxor.

“We got ourselves a newcomer here.” Said Hellbent as he pulled a cigar out of his pants pocket and began to light it. “Are you twisted enough to be chilling out in such a cool place like this, little boy?” continued Hellbent, who inhaled the cigar like an asthmatic person on a tube full of Albuterol.

“Dude, I am twisted.” Replied Fixxor with a semi-pathetic ‘I wanna fit in’ look on his face. “I once fucked a chick who was addicted to heroin and then I shoved her face on a burning stovetop.”

“That is not twisted, little boy.” Replied Hellbent who flicked the cigar at Fixxor. “Go rip some tags from a mattress, you little prick.”

Fixxor, obviously getting pissed as his nostrils flared began to speak in a more elevated tone.

“Did I mention I also put a paper bag on her head after the incident and had goodbye sex with her?” Fixxor continued, teeth clenching.

Hellbent facepalms Fixxor. That facepalm alone was enough to warrant enough anger in Fixxor for him to get physical. The straw that broke the camel’s back. Fixxor runs up to Hellbent and begins to rapidly punch him in the stomach with both fists – in a super quick speed.

“How do you like those apples, newb?” said Fixxor, visually worn out.

“How do you like this big boot to your fucking chest?!” screamed Hellbent as he kicks Fixxor square in the chest and knocks him 20 feet across the bar, knocking him on a table then prompting him to fall on the floor.

CPF looks at Fixxor laying on the floor, obviously hurt as he attempts to get back up and falls back down.  CPF begins to drunkenly laugh.

“Fucking fag.” Said CPF, holding his ‘Crimson Fury Ale’ with a kung fu grip. “That is karma coming back for trashing my car.”

Fixxor, not even able to muster up enough strength to hold his head up, simply flips CPF off as he just lays there, clutching his bruised up body.

At the other side of the bar, Cory walks out of the restroom with a rather large, beached whale of a bar pig. She looked like the kind of chick who wore red flannel shirts and drank popcorn butter while they drove their big rig across the USA.

Cory notices Fixxor, chuckles and then helps him up as he dusts off the back of his shirt.

“Bro, this is my chick.” Said Cory, beaming with pride. “Her name is Mrs. Prime.”

“Mrs. Prime?” asked Fixxor. “She obviously ate too much prime rib at the buffet. Fat fuck.” Quipped Fixxor who despite just having his ass handed to him still had some smart aleck remarks to throw around.

CPF walks over to Hellbent who is at this point braced against the bar downing a bottle of whiskey as if it were going so far out of style, it was the Macarena. CPF nods to Hellbent who returns the gesture.

“Dude, how come no one is calling the cops on your ass?” asked CPF, smiling brightly. “Not that I care. He’s a bit of an ass hat anyway – needed to be taken down a notch.”

“Normally, I would take a shit on the floor, throw it in your face and punch you in the nose for asking such a dumb question.” Said Hellbent, who returned the smile with a toothpick hanging out of his mouth. “There are no police – we’re a borderline anarchist society. We deal with shit on our own terms – our only form of governance is ‘Mort’ – but he is carrying out the plans for TMA 2.0 and has been missing in action for two years.”

“Government sucks ass anyways.” Said CPF with a raised eyebrow. “Most peeps would probably vote in some fag from Jersey Shore while they suck on their five dollar latte.”

At the corner of the ceiling, pointed toward CPF was a hidden surveillance camera. Faraway in the fundamentalist district inside the borderline dilapidated church stood a moderately tall fellow about 5’10’’ with a shaved head and a “gay” brand leather jacket with white face paint. This man goes by the name of Blair.

A shorter gentleman standing next to him, about five foot six with a brown emo haircut with a slightly hunched back looks on at the camera footage and begins to laugh as he holds a copy of a Jim Nabors record. This is V-Wing.

“With Mort gone this long, I can make my move to purify the masses of TMA to my warped view of Christianity.” Said Blair, whose eyes struck nothing more than pure evil. “I will make sure every woman is married to every man and all homosexuals will be exiled.”

V-Wing began to laugh maniacally.

“And furthermore” said V-Wing picking up where Blair left off. “Everything you said was right…sorry.”

[Outside the Brawl ‘bar’]

CPF, Cory, Algier, Fixxor and Mrs. Prime are standing outside, Cory and Prime smoking a cig.

“You boys want to do some tag team action on me?” asked Prime, her smile showing off her rotten, decaying front tooth that resembled a can opener. “I can fit 3 dicks in my asshole and I can accommodate a full hand in my cunt.”

“Sorry, babes.” Said CPF, using his utmost politeness. “Ever since I was a kid, I had nightmares about having to fuck the ‘Stay Puft’ man from Ghostbusters. I’d rather not surrender my dicks dignity to going in your rancid asshole. The end.” As CPF walked to the stairs leading to the motel portion of Brawl.

“Yeah, I have to get up early in the morning.” Said Algier, in his usual friendly demeanor. “Nice meeting you. Peace.”

Prime watches as Algier walks to the motel and then looks at Fixxor and Cory with a devilish smile.

“Well, boys.” Said Prime who let out a drunken giggle. “It looks like you two are up to bat. Follow me.”

[Prime’s apartment]
Fixxor and Cory walk into Prime’s apartment. Her housekeeping skills were atrocious – open pizza boxes were everywhere and a dozen hamsters crawl around the kitchen chewing on pieces of walnuts while the navy blue couch is covered in potato chips and stained with nacho cheese sauce.

“So, baby.” Said Cory as he began to take off his tanktop. “You ready for my chode to rip you open like a scalpel?” as he began to lick his lips in a disgustingly rhythmic pattern.

“Mrs. Prime.” Said Fixxor who was visually timid. “I do not have a condom so I think I will backpedal here and let you two lovebirds go at it.”

“Nonsense.” Said Prime as she stripped off her shirt, showing two ultra-saggy tits with grossly discolored nipples that looked like melted frisbees. “When you need to shoot out your goo, aim for the red, white and blue.” As she pointed to the American flag tat on her stomach.

There was a slight pause in the room as they all look at each other, all naked and blinking.

“You know what, guys?” asked Prime. “Lets make this a little more erotic, why don’t we?”

“Cool.” Said Cory, eyes lit up. “Can I put a handful of Cheetos in your ass?”

“Hell no.” she replied as she dug around in the living room closet. “Put on these sweet costumes.

[5 minutes later]

Cory and Fixxor walk out dressed up in obviously undersized Transformers costumes. Cory was dressed as Jazz and Fixxor dressed as Optimus Prime. Mrs. Prime drops her bottle of beer and shatters it as she goes gaga for Fixxor.

“My God.” She said, scanning him up and down. “You look just like my husband…grind me like I’ve been a bad Decepticon.”

TBC...
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Re: CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
Reply #7 - 02/14/11 at 12:16:07
 
LMFAO!!!  Put a handfull of Cheeto's in your asshole?

Blair in facepaint. V-Wing being V-Wing. Prime slogging slime trials everywhere, and Hellbent the life of the party.

MORE!!!
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Re: CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
Reply #8 - 02/14/11 at 15:05:26
 
Yes, more indeed. It sucks horribly to be Cory and Fixxor right now...
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Re: CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
Reply #9 - 02/19/11 at 20:37:37
 
“Man, baby.” Said Cory, eyes lit up like fireworks. “You’re one kinky fucking whore.” As he grabbed his junk and tilted his head to the left and the right like a boxer prepping up for a fight.

“Shut up and get in the bedroom, boy.” Said Mrs. Prime as she began to take off her skirt, exposing her wire brush like pubic hair and her dimpled, golf-ball like ass that had a tattoo of the Ninja Turtles on the right cheek.

As Cory and Fixxor both disrobe and lay under the sheets, both keeping a foot and a half distance away from each other, Mrs. Prime leaps on the bed and has her armpits both landing in Fixxor and Cory’s faces as she lands on the bed.

“Never fucked a French chick before.” Said Fixxor in a sarcastic manner. “Feel like I’m brushing my face in Robin Williams’ chest.”
As Prime spread her legs, her lips hung down like a horse frowning. Cory grinned and flicked at her flaps like he was playing marbles with a senior citizen.

“I eat turkey pussy sometimes.” Said Fixxor, licking lips. “When I’m on a diet.”

“Here sugar lips.” Said Mrs. Prime as she opened her makeup compact and grabbed three pieces of blotter paper. “Drop this. It’ll intensify the sexual arousal and desire, baby.”

Fixxor and Cory both drop the acid and shrug at each other. A couple of minutes pass by and they begin to spaz out a little bit. Cory looks at Prime’s pubic area and he begins to witness an image of a thousand cattails in a snake-filled marsh as he begins to curl up into the fetal position.

Fixxor begins to tongue her ass crack like he was finely tuning a Flintstones sherbet push-up ice cream. Her ass crack began to look like a huge chasm into a world of nothingness as if his tongue was an airship that was crashing into the moon.

[Meanwhile, back at the Brawl Bar/Motel’s motel section]

CPF and Sean Algier are laying on each of the king sized beds that were complete with Twisted Metal comforters and sheets – and black pillows that had images of Twisted Metal 2-era Mr. Grimm and Mr. Slam on the front and back.

“I wonder if Fixxor and Cory got lucky.” Said Sean as he braced his hands behind the back of his head and he laid down. “They must’ve been pretty loaded to want to harpoon a whale that big.”

“Cory was not loaded.” Said CPF, smiling. “He’ll fuck anything that moves. Fixxor, on the other hand was a bit tipsy. He had…about two wine coolers, I believe.” As he began to laugh. “That is why Fixxor does not get laid. Wine coolers are for faggots – they’re like the training bra of alcohol.”

“So, who was the hottie you were chatting up in the bar?” CPF’s smile along with his bugged out eyes channeled a slight eeriness in lieu of his support.

“Linda.” Said Sean, face flushing up, blood possibly flowing to penis. “She is pretty damn hot and she speaks my language. Carol can go stuff a lightning rod of cock up herself. Fucking bitch.”

“Damn, Algier.” Said CPF with a look of disbelief. “It looks like this Linda has finally made a man out of you and you have yet to split the timber, dude. Bravo.” As he let out a light golf clap and a light chuckle.

“Yeah, I’m supposed to meet her in the morning for a little tour of the town.” Sean replied, a wonderful grin slapped on his anxious face. “Got some sweet music for the occasion. A little Johnny Mathis never hurt anyone.”

“What are you, about 80?” said CPF who began to laugh. “She will lay there like a corpse and probably fart a steak cube or two out of her ass to get you to stop.”

Sean just shrugged it off and laid down to sleep as he buried his face into the Grimm/Slam pillow.

[The next morning – Prime’s Bedroom]

Fixxor awakens by the sharp, piercing rays of the sun. His bladder obviously packed full of fuzzy navel wine cooler was calling to be pissed out. As he began to get up, he fell back on the bed. As he looked back, he seen Cory, mouth agape, snoring – and both handcuffed to each other.

“That fucking bitch!” screamed Fixxor whose piercing vocal resonation awoke Cory. “I’m laying in the middle of a god damn place where God only knows where naked with my fucking brother.”

“What’s wrong? Why am I naked?” asked Cory whose face flushed up with embarrassment. “And why the fuck am I handcuffed to you? You fucking incestuous queer!”

“Dude, we didn’t bump uglies last night.” Said Fixxor, gritting his teeth in anger. “That fat cow you wanted us to tag team did this. I’m gonna club her ass like a seal.”

As Fixxor and Cory both cooperatively get up, they look around and see the entire place trashed to hell. There were light blue and neon greenish party balloons floating around the house while the couch looked as if it were sawn in half. Fixxor crouches down near the couch and picks up his pants and begins  to search for his wallet. As he opens his wallet, it was empty.

“All my fucking money is gone!” screamed Fixxor who used his free hand to punch a hole into the wall. “That fat cunt stole my money – even my fucking insurance card. I fucking hate women!”

“Dude, mellow out.” Said Cory who patted Fixxor on the back – not realizing it came off kind of awkward that they were both still very naked. “Don’t hold a grudge against the vagina, dude – just take a deep breath and –“

Fixxor punches Cory in the face and knocks him on the floor, causing Fixxor to fall on top of him in a ‘missionary’ style.

As they both laid there, the sound of the door opening and footsteps approaching were heard. As Fixxor looked, he seen a seductive pair of legs walked up wearing black high heels. As he looks further up her long, seductive legs there was a lime green skirt connected to a matching top. The woman, having medium length red hair and wearing Chanel shades had her mouth agape in disbelief.

“Who the hell are you and why you are in my apartment?” asked the woman, very upset, almost to the point of tears. “And why are you guys laying on top of each other?” as she lightly cringed.

“We’re brothers – so no homo.” Said Cory with his trademark winning smile. “This heavy set chick we met at the bar last night brought us here for sex – she ended up drugging us and we woke up like this.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Said Fixxor who was embarrassed of his nudity but still wanted to resemble some habiliment of a man. “Her name was Mrs. Prime – that’s all we know. She stole our money and handcuffed us like this. I feel so violated.”

“Mrs. Prime?” asked the woman, who began to tense up. “That is the fat bitch who has been stalking my husband and I ever since she got booted from shooting his porno films.”

“Your husband shoots porno?” asked Cory. “Does he need some new actors?” as he began to stroke his chin.

“Look, my name is Nina Spyda.” Said the woman as she began to extend her hand but retracted it – realizing their hands were possibly unwashed from being on cock and ass. “My husband is Rex Spyda. He directs pornographic action and comedy films such as “A Dong Came A Spyda” and “Vigilante BBW’s”. She was in his porno’s as a featured player for years but as soon as she delved into the drug lifestyle, she went downhill. Watching Transformers on acid is not the way to go.”

“Anyways” she continued. “Lets put your guys’ clothes on and get these handcuffs off and find this bitch. If I find out he’s seeing her again, I’ll cut his prick off and shove it up his ass.”

-To be continued-

[CPF and Sean will have a bigger part as the story progresses...they too will have some fun Smiley)
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Re: CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
Reply #10 - 02/20/11 at 15:23:39
 
“I eat turkey pussy sometimes.” Said Fixxor, licking lips. “When I’m on a diet.”

“Cory was not loaded.” Said CPF, smiling. “He’ll fuck anything that moves. Fixxor, on the other hand was a bit tipsy. He had…about two wine coolers, I believe.” As he began to laugh. “That is why Fixxor does not get laid. Wine coolers are for faggots – they’re like the training bra of alcohol.”

“What are you, about 80?” said CPF who began to laugh. “She will lay there like a corpse and probably fart a steak cube or two out of her ass to get you to stop.”

“My husband is Rex Spyda. He directs pornographic action and comedy films such as “A Dong Came A Spyda” and “Vigilante BBW’s”. She was in his porno’s as a featured player for years but as soon as she delved into the drug lifestyle, she went downhill. Watching Transformers on acid is not the way to go.”

Fuck yea man. Don't stop now!!

And Spyda is gay dude. I thought you got that memo.  Grin

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Re: CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
Reply #11 - 03/24/11 at 02:45:12
 
Can't wait for the next part. This is good stuff.
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"I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold. I'll be fine once I get it. I'll be good." ... ...
 
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Re: CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
Reply #12 - 04/23/11 at 14:40:11
 
:::::::knocks on door::::: HEY DIM!!!! WHERE YOU AT MAN?!?!?

You ok or are we gonna have to search and rescue in the local brothel?
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Re: CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
Reply #13 - 05/25/11 at 22:01:43
 
I'm beginning work on the next chapter. I'm taking baby steps, though so I don't make the jokes too forced or get burnt out and it sits around for another six months.
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Re: CPF/TMA Crossover: Tale of Two Worlds
Reply #14 - 05/30/11 at 12:02:11
 
That's cool man. Get it up whenever your ready.

Writers block is a cunt.
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