Dim Shades -
Ex Member
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The charred, decaying hand grips into a fist and knocks the trunk hatch clean off like a boxer’s winning KO punch. The decaying hand turns into an oversized, scorched and decaying shell of a former plumper. Bunnie’s mid-section looked like a green flap of flesh, exposing her oversized ribs and dried up guts. Her face was burnt beyond recognition as one eye was missing and her lips looking like smashed worms. Looking closer at her mid-section, Bunnie notices a latter term fetus inside her body, which was also resurrected.
As she begins to realize her real life waddle had adapted well into her current “afterlife”, she began her trek to revenge.
[Cory’s House – 10:00 PM]
All the guys were hanging out watching various pornos. CPF is sitting on the piss yellow couch, stuffing popcorn down his mouth, complete with bugged out eyes. Fixxor watches the chick get impaled by a 10 inch penis and not even release a moan, which breaks the silence.
“Ok” said Fixxor who began to get irritated. “How come these bitches can take a yard of cock in their ass and not even twitch?” as his face reddened up with frustration.
“Dude, that’s showing weakness.” Replied CPF as he spit out a kernel. “If you want to make it in porn, you got to be grown up.” As he chewed his fingernails, eyes bugged out.
“You don’t seem to get it, stupid.” Replied Fixxor, obviously more frustrated. “If you had a 10 inch dildo up your ass, you would cry and bleed, dumbfuck.”
CPF dropped the popcorn bowl, looked at Fixxor and employed a thunderous slap to the back of his head, knocking his face on the coffee table.
“Fuck you, fag.” Said CPF who was obviously offended. “You act like a girly man because you have a dildo up your ass 23 hours a day.” He continued.
“What the fuck does he do the other hour?” asked Squid as he walked in from the swinging kitchen door.
“He sucks on his dads balls.”
“You suck on frozen hot dogs for practice, feg.” Replied Fixxor who was rubbing his mildly injured forehead.
While Fixxor, Squid and CPF were hanging out in the house, outside was a different story. Cory stood above the grave, cigarette planted in mouth, puffing on it like no tomorrow.
“What’s with the luck of the men in this fucked up family?” he asked himself, smoking the cig down to nothing. “Every chick we lay ends up dead.” He continued as his mouth slowly went agape, dropping the cig on the grass.
As Cory looks to the ground, he sees the soil making movement. As he looks on with a ‘what the fuck’ look on his face, he simply backs off from it and goes back into the house like nothing happened.
[Int. Cory’s House – 10:15 PM]
“I want a friggin’ pizza.” Said Numis “Look into my eyeballs…I’m hungry.”
“Yeah, a pineapple and pepperoni sounds king right about now.” replied Cory who rubbed his stomach.
“Wait” said CPF, who pointed his finger at Cory in an accusatory way, eyes flaring up in anger.
“What?” he replied, complete with deer in headlights.
“Don’t be stealing my lines, you fucking asshole!” screamed CPF who threw the popcorn bowl on the coffee table, shattering it into a million pieces. “That is my fucking line!” He screamed.
“What the hell are you talking about, you fucking paranoid idiot?” said Fixxor who was plucking glass out of his goatee.
“Dude, only I can say fucking ‘king’.” Replied CPF who had a look of fire in the eyes. “He says it again and I’ll fucking kick his ass until he’s brain dead, unhook him off life support, throw his limp, lifeless body down the fucking stairs and then shit on his face.”
Cory looked at CPF with a look of shock – as if he’s never heard the words ‘shit’, ‘fucking’ or ‘until’ in his life and then laughs at him.
“Dude” said Cory. “You drink Seabreezes. Enough said.” as he gave a ‘talk to the hand’ pose
Squid just looked at them, rolled his eyes and called in the pizza.
[11:05 PM]
“Where the fuck is the pizza man?” asked Fixxor. “It’s been close to an hour. How long does it take to put pineapple on fucking cheese?”
“How long does it take you to find a condom small enough to fit your dick?” replied Numis.
“Not long.” Replied Fixxor, who at this point was in no mood for an exchange. “Not long.”
As Cory was inside the kitchen, opening a bottle of booze, he looks out the window to see that the neighbor’s dog, a large Doberman was walking around the grave with a human limb in his mouth.
“Fag dog.”
Squid walks into the kitchen and steals the bottle from Cory, chugs it until the bottom and leaves a small trace of backwash for him to have. Cory looks at Squid with sharp, angry eyes then tongues the inside of the bottle like a queer.
“Ok, I’m out of here.” Said Squid. “Your brother is not just a fucking wigger – he’s also a sick fuck.” He continued as he walked outside the door.
Bunnie’s corpse watches outside as Squid leaves the house and steals Cory’s moped and drives off into the night. The corpse staggered to the window and saw CPF, Fixxor and Cory blasting the song “Stuck In The Middle With You” while dancing around – throwing their arms in the air, spinning around and jumping and touching the ceiling.
[11:20 PM]
A motorcycle with a sidecar pulls up with a dark haired man holding a pizza box up in the air with his right hand. Sporting a green camouflage uniform and a yellow hat with red pepperoni pieces on it, the man’s hat has the name “Sonic Boom Pizza” shining on the front.
The man knocks on the door to the beat of the Dragnet theme. Moments later, Cory walked to the door with a pissed off look plastered on his face.
“Where the hell have you been, you douche?” screamed Cory. “I ought to have you fired, you fucking snail.”
“I’ll fire something off in you.” Said the pizza man as he shoves the pizza into Cory’s face, pushing him on the floor and kicking the door closed behind him. “You keep your fucking ass down.” He continued, pulling a six shooter from his pants.
“Dude, I was going to give you a tip.” Quipped Cory as he peeled the pineapple pieces from his face like chicken skin.
“Here’s a tip: Shut your fucking mouth.” Replied the pizza man as he cocked the gun. “Anyone else here?”
“My brother and his flaming Italian fag friend.” replied Cory who was somewhere in a state of complete disbelief mixed with a hard cocked smart ass center.
“Fags? I fucking hate faggots.” Said the pizza man with anger in his eyes. “I eat faggots for fucking breakfast.”
Meanwhile, upstairs, CPF was taking a piss on Cory’s pillow while the TV was playing. A newscast came on.
“Breaking news! A suspect in the murder of local porn writer, Hades Lane, is on the run tonight. He is a Caucasian male around 5’10’’, dark brown hair, and may be in the local area. He has a tattoo of a dead pig on his right arm.”
“Who the fuck has a dead pig on their arm?” asked Fixxor as he looked off the balcony.
“Someone who was brave enough to nail your mother and take enough pride in it to get a tattoo.” Quipped CPF.
“Very funny, asshole.”
“Private Snowball thought it was.” Said the Pizza Man as he pointed the gun at Fixxor while CPF lay on the bed with a dirty set of socks stuffed in his mouth, muffling the sounds of ‘fuck you, fag’.
“Who the hell are you?!” screamed Fixxor. “You look like a fucking bum.”
“Which one of you is the faggot?” asked Snowball, huffing and wheezing like a maniac. “I’m going to fuck up your faggot ass and make you eat the dick of my gun.”
“Where the fuck is my brother?” asked Fixxor whose eyes were as big as Olympic sized swimming pools. “Where the fuck is he?”
“What?” replied Snowball, whose frown sank lower. “Your brother is a fag? I knew by his wigger look that he had to be.” He continued, breathing heavily like a boozed up, drugged up phone sex operator who had no soul or drive in their life.
“Ok, twinkle toes” said Snowball as he pointed the gun at Fixxor and CPF. “March your asses in the living room.”
Snowball very cautiously tiptoed behind CPF and Fixxor as they walked down the stairs and seen Cory tied to a kitchen chair, squirming for dear life only for the chair to fall on its side, prompting CPF to spit out the socks and laugh.
“Ha. Fucking fag.” Said CPF, laughing at Cory’s injury.
“Ok, it’s bad enough that he’s gay. Don’t rub it in, asshole.” Commanded Snowball as he pushed the gun into CPF’s cheek. “Shut your yap.”
“Dude, shut your mom.” Replied CPF who spit at Snowball.
“That was retarded.” Said Fixxor. “Shut your mom? Fucking 2nd grade education.”
“Your mom teaches 2nd grade. I fucked her when I was eight years old.”
“Yeah, you fucked her for the four years you repeated.”
“Yeah, because she was a good sex teacher, you fag.”
“Alright, shut the fuck up, idiots.” Interjected Snowball.
[11:45 PM]
CPF, Fixxor and Cory are all tied to chairs as Snowball paces back and forth, bracing the gun against his side.
“Here is the game plan, fruits.” Said Snowball with a car salesman smile. “If you little ladies can keep your legs crossed, your mouths shut and your penises out of each others assholes, you’ll all live to see the sunlight.”
“I don’t cross my legs, dumb ass.” Quipped CPF with a dickhead glare in his eye. “Do I look like I have a vagina?”
“No, but your mother does.” Replied Fixxor.
For around five seconds, everyone looks at Fixxor with a look of shock, embarrassment and complete awe.
“That was really fucking dumb.” Said Snowball, who was attempting to conceal his laughter. “You’re like that dumb fuck little kid off that Schwarzenegger movie where he teaches school.”
“Ok, how about this?” Cory opened. “We’ll give you everything in our wallets and our truck if you let us go.”
“Gee, that’s a swell fucking idea there, cock boy.” Replied Snowball as he rubbed his chin with the gun. “The only bad side is…that I’m fucking being actively searched for.”
Outside the house, the zombie peeks inside to see Snowball ranting and raving. She begins to knock on the window which prompts Snowball to look out.
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