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Twisted Metal: Insanity (Read 13069 times)
Jironobou
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RAWR!!!

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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #15 - 08/09/10 at 05:39:27
 
I have one question regarding the last chapter...

How the fuck did Raven flip her hearse over?
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So... my PSN account name is Jironobou as well...
 
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ThumperMan3000
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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #16 - 08/09/10 at 07:53:02
 
Pretty good. I doubt the contestants would aid each other in escaping Blackfield, but hey, at least the help was only temporary.

Good job. I so love the part where Brimstone slaughters the SWAT Team.
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X.Needles_Kane.X
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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #17 - 08/09/10 at 22:18:04
 
Brimstone kicked their asses, huh?
ANYWAY..
Daily updates for everyone!
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X.Needles_Kane.X
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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #18 - 08/09/10 at 22:24:46
 
Ok let's see: List of the Dead, tell me if I missed anyone x.x
Crazy 8: Dead
Warthog: Dead
Shadow: Dead
Roadkill: Dead
Brimstone 1: Destroyed until Brimstone 2 arrived
Manslaughter: Dead
Outlaw: Dead
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« Last Edit: 08/10/10 at 00:42:24 by N/A »  

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X.Needles_Kane.X
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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #19 - 08/10/10 at 00:32:46
 
Twisted Metal Insanity Chapter seven, part two of three -AGENT STONE parked his SWAT vehicle behind a building, got out, dropped to his knees, and began to pray for his own safety-

AGENT STONE: Lord, protect me...

-SPECTRE speeds in the direction of AGENT STONE, and runs him over-

BLOODY MARY: Sorry, baby!

-AGENT STONE pulls out his M9, and fires at SPECTRE as she drives away-

AGENT STONE:...I'll get you.....bitch...

BLOODY MARY: Go ahead and try!

-SPECTRE casually drives away as AGENT STONE bleeds to death on the ground-

BLOODY MARY: He has to be dead....this area looks clear.

-A white El Camino crashes through a fence and fires it's M60 at SPECTRE-

BLOODY MARY: Not this bastard again!

PREACHER: Repent, sinner! Repent!

BLOODY MARY: You can't catch meeee!

PREACHER:...Yes I can. -Preacher fires a Rocket at SPECTRE, which hits the back of the car, and it crashes into a streetlight-

BLOODY MARY: Uggghhh...

-BRIMSTONE drives away, and BLOODY MARY gets out of her car and chases BRIMSTONE, her high-heels tapping wildly on the street-

BLOODY MARY: I'll get you, you bible-thumping freak!

PREACHER:...We shall see, dear girl. We shall see.
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X.Needles_Kane.X
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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #20 - 08/10/10 at 01:07:43
 
Guys, sorry if my stories get a little dull, my girlfriend Dimitra went to South Carolina for a week, and my dad's been drinkin a lot, so yeah...

I'm not using the story to channel any anger though- I'm writing it because I'm a HUGE Twisted Metal fan, and I've always wanted to contribute to TMA.
-Scott
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Jironobou
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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #21 - 08/10/10 at 01:40:58
 
It isn't really boring, it's just that... a lot doesn't make sense, like most of the things I've already pointed out, but I also wonder how the drivers would be able to yell at each other whilst in a car, and surrounded by the sounds of bullets, missiles, other various explosions, and ambient noises.
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So... my PSN account name is Jironobou as well...
 
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X.Needles_Kane.X
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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #22 - 08/11/10 at 03:25:56
 
Twisted Metal: Insanity
Chapter eight, part two of three

~Meanwhile, at Midtown City Hall~

POLICE OFFICER: Mayor Pluth, we've gotten reports from our helicopters that a white El Camino, heavily armed, is driving around Midtown.

MAYOR PLUTH: Do you happen to know what it's doing?

POLICE OFFICER: No, sir. But it's obviously a Contestant... What should we do about it?

MAYOR PLUTH: I say we-

-GOVERNER MAJCHROWICZ barges into the room-

GOVERNOR MAJCHROWICZ: Sir, a refinery on the east side of town just exploded! A few witnesses who survived the attack said that they saw a El Camino and a Military-issue motorcycle battling there at the time of the attack...what should we do? Should we send out Warhawk?

MAYOR PLUTH: No. We should send out our military to deal with the threat.

POLICE OFFICER: We have a military?

MAYOR PLUTH: Yes. A 101st Airborne base is located on the outskirts of town, near the abandoned skyscrapers. I know the Commander, I'll get on the phone with him right now.

-MAYOR PLUTH calls the COMMANDER of the 101st-

MAYOR PLUTH: We need help here! The Twisted Metal Contestants are destroying the city and we've lost contact with our SWAT team. Send over as much armor and infantary as you can, we're going to need it.

COMMANDER: -On the other line- I'll send out a platoon of men and an armored unit, just give me some time to get them ready and I'll send them your way.

MAYOR PLUTH: Yes sir. -Hangs up-...We've got reinforcements, gentlemen....

~Meanwhile, back at the ruined refinery~

-PREACHER climbs out of his El Camino and aims his Beretta 93R at Mr. Grimm, who is taking cover behind a destroyed truck-

PREACHER: Show yourself, you coward! Your motorcycle is destroyed, and you're wounded! Give up now!

MR. GRIMM: Screw you!

PREACHER: I don't want to have to go over there and end your life, Grimm! Surrender!

MR. GRIMM: Up yours, old man! -MR. GRIMM leans out from his cover and fires an M16 at PREACHER-

PREACHER: You shoot at a preacher? My God! -Preacher returns fire with his 93R-

MR. GRIMM: Wait- Do you hear that? I hear...planes...

PREACHER: I hear them too...

-Two C47's drop some 101st troopers near PREACHER and MR. GRIMM's position-

PARATROOPER: There they are!

PREACHER: Forget this! To hell with you all! -PREACHER gets in his El Camino and drives away-

MR. GRIMM: Dammit, priest! Don't leave me here! -MR. GRIMM runs after PREACHER as he drives off-

MR. GRIMM: Prieeeeeeeeeeeeeest!!

PARATROOPER: There he is, take him down! Take him down!

-A group of PARATROOPERS surround MR. GRIMM-

MR. GRIMM: Damn it....-The PARATROOPERS open fire on MR. GRIMM, riddling him with bulletholes, and he falls to the ground, squirming and writhing in pain-

-An OFFICER walks up to MR. GRIMM and shoots him in the head with his .45-

OFFICER: One down.

PARATROOPER: Good work, Sgt. Magnason.

SGT. MAGNASON: Let's head into town and meet up with our Tank Unit!

-The PARATROOPERS head into town-
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X.Needles_Kane.X
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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #23 - 08/11/10 at 03:34:30
 
So now the Army is out to stop Calypso and his Contest. Things are going to get crazy.
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tmfan89
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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #24 - 08/11/10 at 06:39:52
 
I don't know I read it it held my attention but I think you have to go with a simpler story. Parts of the story were really good while others were confusing.

You are trying a little too hard for a grandiose story I say shave it down a bit and make it more compact because you have cool elements to work with. Eh what do I know my fan fic has combatants traveling between dimensions.
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X.Needles_Kane.X
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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #25 - 08/12/10 at 00:16:10
 
Twisted Metal Insanity
Chapter nine
Part two of three

~Meanwhile, in Midtown~

-PREACHER went around slaughtering the Twisted Metal Contestants, leaving SPECTRE, YELLOW JACKET and SWEET TOOTH as the last Combatants in the Contest-

SWEET TOOTH: Where is everyone?...This Contest is gettin' boring. I need to kill someone. NOW!!!

~Meanwhile, at Calypso's Base~

CALYPSO: -Watching the Contest unfold on a large TV- It looks like that preacher is winning.

BODYGAURD: No, he's not. His vehicle was destroyed, and he's using a new, modified car.

CALYPSO: What...the...FUCK? We've got to stop him, send out Minion!

BODYGAURD: Yes sir.

-The BODYGAURD goes into a large garage, and enters, finding a large man with a animal-skin mask sitting on a large tanker armed with a flamethrower-

BODYGAURD: Marcus.

MARCUS: What do you want?

BODYGAURD: We need you to go out and stop that preacher, he's ruining the Contest.

MARCUS: I'm on it. -MARCUS climbs into his vehicle, Minion, and starts it up-

BODYGAURD: I'll open the garage door for you...

-MINION drives right through the door, smashing it-

BODYGAURD:...Er....Never mind...

~Meanwhile, in Midtown~ [PARATROOPERS' point of view]

SGT. MAGNASON: Keep you eyes open, boys.

-The PARATROOPERS see three Sherman Tanks, two Jeeps, and a Haltrack-

SGT. MAGNASON: That's our Armored Unit! Let's move!

TANK COMMANDER: Hey! Over here!

-The TANK COMMANDER and his Sherman Tank are hit by multiple Rockets and armor-piercing bullets-

SGT. MAGNASON: What the hell?

-The Halftrack explodes-

-The remaining Tanks and Jeeps retreat-

SGT. MAGNASON: Come back, you cowards!

-MINION charges at full speed towards the PARATROOPERS-

PARATROOPERS: Fall back, retreat!

SGT. MAGNASON: All cowards and traitors will be shot-

-SGT. MAGNASON is hit multiple times in the chest-

SGT. MAGNASON: You pricks! Don't leave me! I'll have your heads for this! TRAITORS!

-MINION crushes SGT. MAGNASON underneath his massive tires-

-SWEET TOOTH crashes through a Police barricade, fires his Machine Guns and his remaining Napalm Cones at MINION, and his Napalm Cones blow up the large gas tank on the back of MARCUS' vehicle, blowing the back of the large tanker up, and sending MARCUS flying out the front windshield. SWEET TOOTH parks in front of him-

MARCUS: -Backs away- W-who are you?..

NEEDLES: -Gets out his vehicle and approaches MARCUS- I...am Needles Kane.

MARCUS:...Brother?

NEEDLES:...It...it's you...I thought you were dead...after Dad got killed, you disappeared, and...

MARCUS: And you became a fucking pyschopath, from what I've heard.

NEEDLES: Hmm. True!

-SPECTRE parks behind MARCUS, and BLOODY MARY gets out of her car, and aims a Revolver at MARCUS' head-

BLOODY MARY: Less talking and more fighting, boys. -BLOODY MARY shoots MARCUS in the back of the head-

NEEDLES:...You whore...-NEEDLES pounces on BLOODY MARY-

BLOODY MARY:...P-please d-don't kill me...please...

NEEDLES: Shut up...-MEEDLES slowly pulls out his knife-

BLOODY MARY: D-don't...PLEASE...

-YELLOW JACKET speeds towards NEEDLES-

NEEDLES: Shit! -NEEDLES and BLOODY MARY jump out of the way of YELLOW JACKET, and YELLOW JACKET explodes as the taxi speeds past them-

BLOODY MARY: What the hell?

-BRIMSTONE drives up to NEEDLES and BLOODY MARY, and PREACHER gets out, aiming his 93R at NEEDLES, and his Revolver at BLOODY MARY-

PREACHER: Time to repent, sinners....

[The climatic ending coming soon]


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X.Needles_Kane.X
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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #26 - 08/13/10 at 03:30:30
 
Twisted Metal Insanity
Chapter ten
Part three of three

-PREACHER has both of his guns aimed at NEEDLES and BLOODY MARY-

PREACHER: Repent or die.

NEEDLES:...Let me think...No.

-NEEDLES, PREACHER, and BLOODY MARY hear multiple vehicles behind them, and they turn around to see two FBI vehicles behind them-

FBI AGENT: Hands up!

PREACHER:...Very well...-PREACHER drops both his guns, then reaches into his robes and pulls out a M79 Grenade Launcher-

FBI AGENT: Put the gun down, sir!

PREACHER: Rot in hell. -PREACHER fires a grenade at one FBI SUV, blowing it up-

FBI AGENT: Kill him! Shoot to kill!

-The FBI AGENTS from the surviving SUV jump out, firing their M16's at PREACHER-

PREACHER: You dare shoot at a man of God? -PREACHER fires a grenade at the group of Agents, blowing them up-

PREACHER: -Puts the M79 away and crosses himself-

-WARHAWK appears from behind a building-

WARHAWK'S PILOT: Surrender now!

PREACHER: Shit...-Turns around and sees a church-

PREACHER: I'm out of here! -Blasts the church doors open with the M79, and walks in-

-A PRIEST walks up to him-

PRIEST: Jebediah! Have you gone mad?! I will NOT tolerate this attack on the house of God!

PREACHER: Silence, you old fool! -PREACHER grabs the PRIEST and tosses him aside, then goes up to the top of the church-

PREACHER: -Pulls out his M79 and aims it at NEEDLES and BLOODY MARY, who are taking cover-

PREACHER:...Die...

-WARHAWK fires a Rocket at PREACHER, throwing him off of the roof-

PREACHER: Whoa- AHHHHHUUUUGHHHHHHHH....-PREACHER falls down onto a car, and the car alarms go off-

~Down on the ground~

-BLOODY MARY gets into her sports car and flees-

BLOODY MARY: Fuck this shit! -Drives away-

NEEDLES: Shit. -NEEDLES gets into his Ice Cream Truck, and fires a few Homing Missles at WARHAWK-

WARKHAWK: Taking fire! Gunner, take him out!

WARHAWK'S GUNNER: On it! -WARHAWK'S GUNNER fires a Minigun at Sweet Tooth, and the bullets riddle his Ice Cream Truck with bulletholes. NEEDLES stops his Ice Cream Truck-

WARHAWK'S GUNNER: Target down.

WARHAWK'S PILOT: Let's get down there and verify him.

-WARHAWK lands in front of Sweet Tooth-

NEEDLES: Fooled ya, bitches!

-NEEDLES fires a Power Missle at WARHAWK, and it goes into the cockpit, destroying the main controls and killing the PILOT. The GUNNER hops out and limps away, but NEEDLES jumps on him, rips his helmet off, and stabs him in the back of the head. He then cuts his head off, and throws it into the back of his truck-

NEEDLES: Time to go and see Calypso.

-NEEDLES goes to CALYPSO's hideout in the Junkyard-

CALYPSO: Congratulations, Needles, you have won my Contest and may claim your prize...What is your wish?

NEEDLES: You know, I never really thought of that. Shit.

CALYPSO:...Needles, you fool....

NEEDLES: Now I know what I want! -NEEDLES jumps on top of CALYPSO and punches him in the face, then slits his throat, cuts off his head, then slowly walks to his truck as CALYPSO's BODYGAURDS watch, shocked-

NEEDLES: -Tosses CALYPSO's head into the back of his truck, then sits on CALYPSO's former throne-

NEEDLES: Gaurds!

BODYGAURDS: -All at once- Y-yes sir?..

NEEDLES: Go and get more Contestants from Blackfield. I want to have another Contest.

BODYGAURDS: Y-yes sir! We're on it, sir...

-The BODYGAURDS get back into the bus and depart-

NEEDLES: I am Needles, and I thank you for playing Twisted Metal!

-NEEDLES walks up to the reader, grabs him/her, and slashes the reader in the throat with his knife-


                      TWISTED METAL: INSANITY

SPECIAL THANKS TO: Everyone here at TMA, David Jaffe & Scott Campbell, the readers, Dimitra [I love you babe!], and Needles Kane.



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X.Needles_Kane.X
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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #27 - 08/13/10 at 03:36:54
 
Twisted Metal Insanity
Part X of X
EPILOUGE

Needles finally got what he wanted, he was finally able to rule over the Twisted Metal Competition. Needles missed being a Contestant, but he was happy! He was finally away from everyone who thought he was crazy, and the Preacher was dead, so he'd never have to worry about him again!

His Bodygaurds weren't so fond of their new leader, as he had a tendency to kill them, but Needles didn't mind one bit, because he knew that one day he would pass control of the Tournament to someone else, and then get back into his Ice Cream Truck, and drive back into the world to terrorize Midtown!

I am Scott, and I thank you for reading Twisted Metal Insanity!
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ThumperMan3000
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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #28 - 08/13/10 at 04:21:16
 
Wow, that is one twisted story.  Brimstone killing the police and the F.B.I. was messed up.

This was a great story. I hope you plan another someday.
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X.Needles_Kane.X
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Re: Twisted Metal: Insanity
Reply #29 - 08/13/10 at 04:54:49
 
Thank you, and in fact there's going to be a sequel, from Bloody Mary's point of view...

NOW FOR Q&A!
1. Why did Preacher kill himself, you may ask?
A. Because he threw the Priest down, which is a symbol of throwing away your religion.

2. "How the fuck did Raven flip her hearse over?"
A. Pushing it back onto it's wheels.

3. Why were the on-foot scenes so sparse?
A. I wanted to keep the Contest on wheels, to say the least.
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