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The Butcher-TMB Fan Fiction (Read 1276 times)
Certified Astronaut

"I don't give a f**k if
they remember me at all."

Posts: 40
Gender: male
The Butcher-TMB Fan Fiction
07/01/10 at 04:18:12
The Butcher’s Wagon

Name: Adrian Blumen
Age: 52
Vehicle Name: Butcher’s Wagon
Vehicle: A rusted, white, 1957 Ford Van, with a decapitated metal cow on the roof. On the side there is a message in worn red letters that reads “Adrian’s Annihilated Animals.”
Diagnosis: Autophagia (Must be kept in straight jacket to prevent serious damage to self.); Psychosis.
Treatment: None. Therapy and medications have no effect, lost cause.
The Slaughter Missile-
An extremely powerful missile is shot and homed in on the nearest enemy. Spawns extremely slowly do to its power.
Armor: 00000
Speed: 0
Handling: 00
Special: 00000
Attack: 00000

     When they threw me in this hellhole, I couldn’t comprehend why.

They told me… They told me that what I had done was wrong. Morally incorrect. They told me I was insane. HA! In my opinion they’re crazier then I’ll ever be.

I’d been alone in solitary for a long time, but one day, I got a visitor. He called himself Calypso. He said if I signed up for his little car tournament he’d give me what I desired most. Maybe I could convince everyone to see my way, the right way. Or maybe I could get a decent meal… Something I haven’t had since they put me in this jacket. I agreed to Calypso’s little tournament, he let me out of my jacket and into the world.

One way or another I was happy to be out of their.

Encounter with Minion:
They say the driver of this car is worse then Satan himself, I say he’ll go down to Hell to meet the man when I’m through with him.

Flashback(Middle Scene):
The explosion from Minion’s vehicle knocked me out, I could have sworn he’d put me in a coma. But while I was out I had one of the most vivid dreams that I’ve ever had. It was of the good ol’ days, when I would drive around in this busted-up van, selling meat to whom ever desired it. It was a perfect reality, until the day someone decided to look in my trunk…
They called me horrid things. They said what I was doing was a crime against humanity. They said that burning me at the stake wouldn’t even be punishment enough. With every word they articulated, I felt worse and worse. But I knew they were wrong. That’s why I still can’t understand why they would throw me in Blackfeild.

Encounter with end boss:
As I was preparing to have my "encounter" with Calypso, a new foe emerged. He called himself Hell's Bane, his mere apperance terrified me. But I knew right then and there, that he had to die, no matter what the circumstances may be.

     When I saw Calypso, he asked me what I desired. I told I wanted the entire planet Earth to view life as I did.

I regret that decision immensely.

The world was normal enough; everyone was buying human flesh from my truck, or other vendors around the world. The issue arose when people decided to go a little feral. They decided that buying flesh was too much of an expense, so they started to kill each other. When I made this wish I thought that people would eat other things, I didn’t want them to survive solely on human flesh. But Calypso just had to make it that way. Now I’m one of the few humans left, Calypso somehow managed to evade the cannibals, I'm not sure where he is, but I’m certain he’s not going to die any time soon. But I know I will…

I apoligize if this was poorly written, it was my first fan fiction so...

Also, I know the "twist" about Adrian's truck was obvious.

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Postponing the invitable is what makes us Americans. I have a philosophy for life: Eat,Sleep,Play. And if that doesn't work just screw it.
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