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Randomosity (Read 187390 times)
Magnum
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Re: Randomosity
Reply #15 - 06/29/10 at 13:37:20
 
This post is about random shit.

Hard shit, soft shit, pebble shit, boulder shit, cable shit, fudgy shit, and liquified shit. I hate that when you have to keep wiping to get it off. Damn fudgy shits. Use baby wipes to wipe your ass. The ones where you just buy refills. Yea.....you fucking laugh now. Try it, and prove me wrong. Esspecially on those fire shits. My asshole hasn't been rawed in years.

I also hate people who 'smack' thier lips before they start every sentance. Just wanna punch em in the face.



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Re: Randomosity
Reply #16 - 06/29/10 at 13:52:22
 
You forgot to add Meteor Shit.. No matter how much you clench your hole shut to slow down the shits.. These nuggets will always shoot down into the porcelain bowl and damage it. Wait, am I the only one with this problem?
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Re: Randomosity
Reply #17 - 06/29/10 at 13:53:44
 
And cannon shit. It's when you have a bullet sized shit that gets fired out by a fart.
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Re: Randomosity
Reply #18 - 06/29/10 at 13:56:10
 
I squrited about a quart of butt juice out last night. All in one sitting.

Fucking splatters all over the inside of the bowl, splashback on your ass, and the smell makes you wanna lean over and vomit in the sink.

Wanna shake my hand? 

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Re: Randomosity
Reply #19 - 06/29/10 at 14:01:43
 
Is the sink that fucking close to you? I'll bet it was like "in your face, magnum'" after being buddied up with the porcelain bowl.

Ah yes, it's good to meet you! Oh wait, I don't wanna shake your hand.. why is there clump of shits all over it?

You have a serious underwear tossing problem... Let me call Dr. Von Vonderen.
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Re: Randomosity
Reply #20 - 06/29/10 at 20:27:54
 
the cannon shit LOL

is pebble shit where its just a whole bunch of rounded turds floating in the water? those are annoying cause you don't understand how so many came out

I must try the baby wipe theory. for some reason, every time I eat at Gators Dockside, I get the Hersheys.. damn buffalo chicken sandwich
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Re: Randomosity
Reply #21 - 06/30/10 at 13:26:49
 
I more or less call pebble shits rabbit turds really. The sink is pretty close. It's a juggle to stand and lean to vomit, then slam my ass back on the toilet before I coat the bowl. I haven't had that happen in years but, it's one of those horrible experiances you don't quite forget. Damn samonella.

People laugh at me when I tell them the baby wipe solution. Why is a grown ups ass any different from a babies? If anything, it's alot more raw for all the years of wiping really. I had a bad shit one day when my oldest boy was an infant, so I tried it. I used 2 wipes and done. It even soothed the fire raw asshole syndrome. 

I also hate people that just walk out into traffic without even looking, expecting you to fucking stop even though your going 50 MPH. Or the dumb fuck on the cell phone who stood on the corner the entire time he could've crossed the street, and then does so when your lane turns green......so you have to wait for dipshit to cross the street.

I hate bitches that wear revealing clothing that are really good looking, then get mad and upset that your looking at them. Be thankfull your not fat and ugly because you'd be crying about no attention if you were. And don't fucking wear a half open shirt if you don't want me to converse with your 2 large tits. I'm just a man......and a man isn't a man if he can't look at titties.

Fucking cunts.
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Re: Randomosity
Reply #22 - 06/30/10 at 13:47:00
 
I'm going to have a restaurant called 'C U Next Tuesday'.
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Re: Randomosity
Reply #23 - 06/30/10 at 15:45:23
 
Pulp Fiction
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Re: Randomosity
Reply #24 - 06/30/10 at 15:49:56
 
Only movie that can top that is Natural Born Killers.
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Re: Randomosity
Reply #25 - 06/30/10 at 19:53:02
 
Natural Born Killers made me trip out, and I wasn't even on acid.. which might have been the point for some ppl
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Re: Randomosity
Reply #26 - 07/01/10 at 01:41:29
 
Magnum wrote on 06/30/10 at 13:26:49:
I hate bitches that wear revealing clothing that are really good looking, then get mad and upset that your looking at them. Be thankfull your not fat and ugly because you'd be crying about no attention if you were. And don't fucking wear a half open shirt if you don't want me to converse with your 2 large tits. I'm just a man......and a man isn't a man if he can't look at titties.


From my observations over the years, the only ones that wear revealing clothing and DON'T get offended when you look at them are the ones that shouldn't be wearing revealing clothing in the first place.
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Re: Randomosity
Reply #27 - 07/01/10 at 01:54:27
 
The only kind of women I love are the ones without clothes. SCHWING! Yes!
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Re: Randomosity
Reply #28 - 07/01/10 at 02:08:14
 
If a dude's been sitting in a chair for a while, and then gets up temporarily or permanently, sitting in the residual warmth is gay. 

Always wait 5 minutes.
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Re: Randomosity
Reply #29 - 07/01/10 at 04:13:42
 
say that to a cold toilet seat in winter
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