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Trapper: TMB or TMPS3 (Read 2384 times)
StrafeMaru
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Trapper: TMB or TMPS3
06/17/10 at 00:22:55
 
Intro: I was an advisor to the Vietnamese, I used to love to torture, it was....a hobby. I would do the most inhumane things possible for laughs. But now...after years of therapy and solitary I was remorseful for what I'd done.

Then one day I got a visitor, he said his name was Calypso, he said he could make everything right again, I'd just have to participate in his contest. I was excited to know I could make everything right again, and make the nightmares stop. I accepted his offer graciously.

Middle: I had another nightmare, this time I was torturing two young American soldiers. When one died, I forced the other into starvation. He was forced to eat his own dead comrade. It was so horrible, why did I do those things?! Why?! -Wakes up- At least soon I can take it all back....

End: I won the contest, I was happy for the first time since the therapy got to me. He told me he would grant my wish. Make everything right again. I thanked him as a bright light hit me.

I woke up, hours, maybe days later, tied to a chair. I didn't know where I was. Then I saw three men come forward. With more behind. All of them had large sharp objects...they all wore military uniforms, and they all looked very hungry....

Alternate Ending: I won the contest, I was happy for the first time since the therapy got to me. He told me he would grant my wish. Make everything right again. I thanked him as a bright light hit me.

I woke up, hours, maybe days later, in a dark hole. I looked around to see my Son, Daughter, and ex-Wife dead. An American soldier looked into the hole, dropped a Machete in and said, "Eat up."


Trapper wears a torn and dirty expensive suit, he drives an old Vietnamese transport truck that fires sharp objects made from bone.


Tell me which ending you like more, and...please don't flame. This is my first fanfic.
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maxamillionaire
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Is the answer to this
question no?

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Re: Trapper: TMB or TMPS3
Reply #1 - 06/17/10 at 01:09:14
 
[FLAMEFLAMEFLAMEFLAMEFLAME]

Just kidding. Not bad for your first attempt. A good idea, I like how you played off mr grimms story from tmb. In the future you could work on developing each section a little more. I like the alternate ending better
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And like a fly to the fire, you lie Consumed by desire, confused by the sky And like a moth to the flame you came Broken and mesmerized
 
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Logan
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Re: Trapper: TMB or TMPS3
Reply #2 - 06/17/10 at 04:06:10
 
Yeah like Max said, expand on everything. Right now its all too short. A good idea, but too short. I liked being reminded of Mr. Grimm's story in this. Keep up the good work.
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Minion
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Re: Trapper: TMB or TMPS3
Reply #3 - 07/03/10 at 02:47:56
 
A big idea. Is a great idea give to Trapper the story of a Vietnam soldier. I donīt think about that history
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StrafeMaru
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Re: Trapper: TMB or TMPS3
Reply #4 - 12/05/10 at 08:39:34
 
I'm currently working on an expansion to this.
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