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Twisted Metal: Retribution (Read 10153 times)
Logan
Ex Member


Twisted Metal: Retribution
06/10/10 at 20:05:37
 
This shall be my first masterpiece. Be prepared for the most graphic description of death your eyes have ever read! This is Twisted Metal in reality.

The story of course revolves around me and my car Blackout. If you have been reading my recent posts, you know why I am making this story. I was ran over by a middle aged man (not able to post his real name here due to "evidence planting" so we will call him Drunkie outside of the story) I was thought dead along with my future fiance Karina. Karina did die, but I survived. This story is written entirely to vent my anger at the man who did this to me and my life...and my future. The man will be playing the role of Calypso's son, who becomes the new ruler of Twisted Metal after Calypso dies in a confrontation with Sweet Tooth. There's the background. I am ready to start writing but I will do it in another post since I don't think I can fit everything i need to say into one post.
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ThumperMan3000
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Re: Twisted Metal: Retribution
Reply #1 - 06/10/10 at 22:52:25
 
I feel sorry for the loss of your wife.
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maxamillionaire
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Re: Twisted Metal: Retribution
Reply #2 - 06/11/10 at 02:02:45
 
Agreed. That sucks dude Sad Hopefully you can channel it into a pretty kick-a fic
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And like a fly to the fire, you lie Consumed by desire, confused by the sky And like a moth to the flame you came Broken and mesmerized
 
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Logan
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Re: Twisted Metal: Retribution
Reply #3 - 06/12/10 at 00:19:05
 
Twisted Metal: Retribution
There's no where to hide from what you've done...

Name: Logan Sheffield

Logan was a normal teenager. A good family life, great friends, and he had met the girl of his dreams, Karina. Life was going great for him for once, but one fateful day, everything changed. Karina and Logan were walking to a store when a drunk driver came and hit them both. Logan was able to recover and live, but the same couldn't be said for poor Karina. She died in the hospital, and getting retribution on the man that killed his fiance has taken over Logan's life.

Car: Blackout (Alfa Romeo 8C)
Blackout was given to Logan by his grandfather before he passed away. Of course it was given to Logan before the accident that shattered his life forever. This Alfa Romeo 8C has been enhanced to compete in Twisted Metal, with machine guns on the back outside windows and a lazer in the windshield. Blackout's special attack is the "Spirit Breaker", a highly dangerous lazer shot from the windshield that, when it comes in contact with another car, will break down the tires of that other car.

Intro
Me: There's just so far one man can be pushed before he breaks...
*Camera shows a brick home with a 17 year old man sitting on the front porch. He is covered in blood and scratches and has a cast on both legs.*
Me: The accident was bad enough...but when I found out about how Karina was...I flipped.
*A flashback to me in the hospital grabbing a nurse and sticking a syringe into her neck.*
Me: So what if I couldn't handle the love of my life being dead? What 17 year old could? I might have went insane but that doesn't give those bastards the right to put me in this jacket.
*Camera moves closer to the child and the player can see a straight jacket on him*
Me: So here I am, waiting for my parents to get home and see their child on the porch with a straight jacket and ask what the hell is going on. But they won't ever come back. My life has gone to hell and there is nothing to do about it. Oh hey the mail is here.
*A mailman delivers a note that says Welcome on it in big fancy letters. Logan opens it with his free hand and reads the invitation to this year's Twisted Metal. A grin goes over Logan's face*
Me: Of course I had heard of Twisted Metal. There were movies and even video games about it. I couldn't believe I had a chance to compete in the competition. Calypso was one of the most well known people in the world. This could be fun and give me a chance to get some retribution on that bastard that destroyed my life at the same time. How could I refuse?
*Logan gets into his car Blackout and drives off towards the first arena in Chicago.*

I have to take meds once a day for stress relief cuz of all this and that will most likely knock me out for the night. Hopefully you all like this. I didn't do much anger venting today since it was the intro, but the middle is where it all happens. See you all tomorrow. And R.I.P. Karina I will always love you  Cry
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Logan
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Re: Twisted Metal: Retribution
Reply #4 - 06/12/10 at 21:35:54
 
Okay so what I'm going to do now is put the little paragraph things before the levels like in Black. The levels are Chicago, New York City, Atlanta, and New Orleans.

Chicago: I'm only an hour away from home...it feels like I'm so much further away though. I feel like this isn't my place to be anymore.

New York City: The city that never sleeps...we will see about that when I send the other competitors to their permanent sleep like that son of a bitch did to Karina.

Atlanta: I've never been here before and I don't know if anybody else has by how deserted this city looks.

New Orleans: I would love to take a break and go party for Mardi Gras, but I can't stop here. I'm on my way to retribution and nothing is going to stop me.

After Logan wins in New Orleans, he is surrounded by a blue light and transported to a worn down stadium in the middle of nowhere. Before he knows what's happening, the ground opens up and a giant concrete mixer by the name of HeadHunter comes up.

HeadHunter's Lair: It looks like I might finally have some competition. But I can't stop now. Karina would be so disappointed if I stopped in the middle of my retribution.

Middle

The crossbow on the front of HeadHunter falls off and explodes, which causes the concrete truck to explode and the entire stadium to be caught on fire. Logan drives Blackout out of the smoldering arena and to a safe area. There he speaks about the day that led him to this madness.

Me: So far so good. I kicked that oversized piece of scrap metal's ass all over his own arena. But the battle for retribution was only half over. Karina's death was still not avenged, and I felt myself slipping closer and closer to insanity. If I didn't get my chance at that son of a bitch that destroyed my life I didn't know what I would do. It had to be done after what he did...
*Camera focuses in on 2 happy looking 17 year old teenagers walking towards a store. They are holding hands and watching out for fast moving cars.*
Me: Karina and I were just out for a walk to the store. I can still see everything now. We were holding hands and walking on the side of the road to avoid the cars. But apparently that wasn't good enough.
*Camera shows a car going way over the speed limit swerving in between lanes. Logan and Karina can be seen a few feet away*
Me: I didn't realize that myself and my love were in danger until it was already way too late. The man in the car didn't know either.
*Camera goes black as a young woman's screams of pain are heard. When the camera comes back, we see the drunk driver's car ran into a light post with plenty of damage behind it. Logan has been strewn out into the road, broken and bruised in a pool of his own blood, while Karina is sticking out of the windshield. The camera goes inside the car to see her face littered with glass shards that are covered in her blood. Her body is bent up on top of the roof, and both of her legs and one arm have been torn off.*
Me:I looked over before blacking out and saw what had been done. The scene is to this day too disturbing to put into words. Karina's body had been bent along the roof of the asshole's car. Most of her limbs were missing. At that point I was hoping no one had called the hospital because I didn't want to live without her. But someone did. Somehow Karina survived until she got to the hospital. She was always a strong girl, but I knew even she couldn't have survived that. But that fact didn't register in my brain until I woke up in the hospital.
*Scenes of Logan killing a few nurses and doctors are shown. He runs around the hospital before being subdued by security.*
Me: I had just lost everything, except the one thing I wish I didn't have...my life. But since I am alive...
*Logan starts Blackout up and gets ready to drive to the next arena in Las Vegas*
Me:...I guess I should make sure Mr. Jones figures out exactly how Karina felt when she died.

Mr. Jones=name for drunk driver.

Last four stages and final boss battle coming later today or tomorrow.
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maxamillionaire
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Re: Twisted Metal: Retribution
Reply #5 - 06/13/10 at 01:52:37
 
Lookin good so far. I like your choice of car and the name is fitting. The way you set up the middle boss battle was good too, not really diverging from Black's formula yet adding new ideas. Headhunter is a good middle boss. Keep it up.
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And like a fly to the fire, you lie Consumed by desire, confused by the sky And like a moth to the flame you came Broken and mesmerized
 
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Logan
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Re: Twisted Metal: Retribution
Reply #6 - 06/14/10 at 15:22:04
 
2nd Half of Levels and Boss Battle Today!

Las Vegas: All the lights here remind me too much of the hospital operating room. I need to get out of here before I have another break down.

Phoenix: All this heat can't be good for my brain. I keep thinking that I am seeing Karina next to me in the car. Have I really gone insane?

Los Angeles/Hollywood: Maybe after I finish the competition I'll head back here to become famous as the best Twisted Metal contestant ever.

Death Valley: What a fitting place to end a competition that is more or less a fight to the death. I have to be close to getting my retribution and getting some form of normalcy back into my life.

Blackout stops in the middle of Death Valley after eliminating the other drivers in the competition. Logan looks around and assumes he finally has a peaceful moment. What he doesn't know is that he is not really alone, as his final opponent, the demented Cage, driver of the 50 foot tall Gravedigger speeds towards Logan. The stage is set for the final battle to take place, but both drivers are teleported to Calypso's mansion before the fight can take place.

Calypso's Mansion: Well here we go. Either I take home the Twisted Metal title or I fall. It's do or die time against this freak but I know I won't stop until I've had my retribution.

Ending

Gravedigger's claws fall off, allowing Logan to have a good clean shot at Cage. Blackout launches everything it has at the giant monstrosity known as Gravedigger, causing a giant explosion. Cage is seen falling from the top, and Logan drives Blackout into the main room of Calypso's mansion, ready to make his wish and gain his retribution.

Me: I had won the contest and gained exactly what I needed, a chance to set things right.

*Camera shows Logan grinning*

Me: He had to fix things for me. He had to let me have my retribution. I was going to destroy that bastard Jones for what he did to me, to my life, and to Karina. It all ended today.

*Camera goes to a masked man wearing all black, looking away from Logan. This is of course Mr. Jones, but Logan doesn't know that yet.*

Mr. Jones: Congratulations driver. You have won this year's competition. You are granted one wish. Name your heart's deepest desire.

Me: I have waited far too long to have this wish. Calypso, for my wish...wait a minute you aren't Calypso! Who are you? What are you doing here?

Mr. Jones: You are right, I am not Calypso. I am his son and the new ruler of Twisted Metal.

*Jones takes the hood off and shows his face to Logan. Jones is a middle aged man with greyish black hair and a black mustache. He has dark blue eyes and cuts all over his face.*

Mr. Jones: Please, call me Mr. Jones.

Me: Wait I know you! You are the reason why I am here. You are the reason why my life has been ruined! You killed Karina, and for that you will pay with your life!

Mr. Jones: My dear boy, what do you mean? I have never killed anyone in my life! Well, other than that girl with my...oh god not you!

Me: Yeah you sadistic son of a bitch. It's me, your worst fucking nightmare. I am here to claim my prize. I want you dead in the same way you killed Karina. I want your head sticking through my windshield and your body bent over the roof of my car. It's time for you to pay for what you have done, Jones!

Mr. Jones: Please, stop! I'll do anything! Just please don't kill me!

*Logan gets into Blackout and starts the car up. Mr. Jones realizes his fate and stands right where he is, in front of a window 35 stories above the ground. He hopes that Logan will be stupid enough to go right through the window with him.*

Me: I had him right where I wanted him. He was going to pay for what he had done. And I was going to take it one step further. I had the chance to make sure he was never coming back.

*Blackout hits Mr. Jones head on. Jones goes face first into the windshield, and his body is bent over the roof. Glass has completely covered Jones' face, and his arms and legs have been ripped off.*

Me: That should have been enough. He was dead. I had won. But I just couldn't help myself. He needed to be punished completely and I was the only person who could do that.

*Logan drags Mr. Jones to the window and throws Jones out the window. Mr. Jones hits the busy street 35 stories below and the camera goes back up to Logan, who is laughing.*

Me: It was finally over. He couldn't haunt me anymore. Karina's death had been avenged. I thought that I would feel bad for killing that guy if I ever met him, but in reality, it felt really really good. Now the pigs are on the hunt for me. But I won't let them find me. I was out of that town as quickly as possible.

*Blackout is seen driving off from Calypso's mansion as For Whom The Bell Tolls by Metallica starts to play and the credits begin rolling.*

*At the end of the credits, Logan's face appears quickly on the screen with the words R.I.P. Karina gone but never forgotten and always loved. A laugh is heard, and then the word Retribution comes onto the screen.*

Yay for Subliminal Messages! All done! What did everyone think? And I think I might do another one for Retribution, but from Karina's point of view if I would have died and she would have survived if everyone likes it.

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Reebok
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Re: Twisted Metal: Retribution
Reply #7 - 06/14/10 at 18:00:41
 
It's just so awesome and sad at the same time Cry
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Logan
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Re: Twisted Metal: Retribution
Reply #8 - 06/14/10 at 19:32:48
 
Thanks always nice to get a compliment.
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maxamillionaire
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Re: Twisted Metal: Retribution
Reply #9 - 06/14/10 at 23:45:58
 
Good job Smiley It was a fitting ending. I was wondering what kind of car is gravedigger?
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And like a fly to the fire, you lie Consumed by desire, confused by the sky And like a moth to the flame you came Broken and mesmerized
 
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Logan
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Re: Twisted Metal: Retribution
Reply #10 - 06/15/10 at 02:09:42
 
Gravedigger is...well I don't know what it is, but its big and scary looking lol.
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ThumperMan3000
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Re: Twisted Metal: Retribution
Reply #11 - 06/15/10 at 02:45:18
 
Mr.Ash wrote on 06/15/10 at 02:09:42:
Gravedigger is...well I don't know what it is, but its big and scary looking lol.


Let me guess, it's the famous monster truck stolen and outfitted with deadly weapons.
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Logan
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Re: Twisted Metal: Retribution
Reply #12 - 06/15/10 at 02:52:52
 
Quote:
Let me guess, it's the famous monster truck stolen and outfitted with deadly weapons.


That works for me lol
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