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Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable (Read 17566 times)
GrindhouseCinema
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Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
06/10/09 at 17:46:38
 
Alright guys ... the lack of new posts around here is killing me. We need something creative and inherently stupid to talk about. So I figured we all should pool our collective creative juices and create the most over the top exploitation film imaginable.

We're going to need to start with a situation, present some sort of bizarre problem that makes it worse, and then figure out the most over the top solution to said problem.

We're going to need the most stereotypical cast of characters for this situation too. Ones with badass names like "Frank Hardcastle" who has an eye patch or something.

Soo.... let's get the ball rolling here. We need some sort of situation. Zombies? Nazi's? Zombie Nazi's? Zombie Nazi's hellbent on destroying the worlds supply of alcohol foiled by Frank Hardcastle and his team of super sexy pornstar spies?

You guys get the picture. So let's see what we can create.
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SynthR
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Re: Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
Reply #1 - 06/10/09 at 20:59:07
 
How about we start the movie out as a romantic comedy for the first 20 minutes, introducing characters and shit but then switch to a post apocalyptic setting where a devastating war takes place killing all the main characters which creates a time warp that teleports all the survivors into the past to live in the 6th century amongst the barbarians of Gaul, the Swedish vikings and the Romans. From there the possibilities are limitless.
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Re: Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
Reply #2 - 06/10/09 at 21:15:25
 
We need to pick actual real life actors that will play the parts as well. There does have to be some form of zombies in there for good measure. I would say zombie strippers but that idea has already been taken. We need a new take on zombies. It just hasnt come to me yet.

If we are going to travel back in time then I want the main hero, or Frank Hardcastle, to team up with some kick ass fucking vikings and take on a group of gay pirates called The Ass Pirates. These pirates will have penis grip swords handles and ass-less chap stripped pants. The main pirate Captain Cock will have a penis shaped hook for a right hand and a black parrot that talks ghetto-fied. He will say things like "yeah Polly wants a cracker! A nice cracka bitch with a fat ass."

Ill come up with more later. We just need to lay the ground work first.
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Re: Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
Reply #3 - 06/10/09 at 21:19:46
 
SynthR wrote on 06/10/09 at 20:59:07:
How about we start the movie out as a romantic comedy for the first 20 minutes, introducing characters and shit but then switch to a post apocalyptic setting where a devastating war takes place killing all the main characters which creates a time warp that teleports all the survivors into the past to live in the 6th century amongst the barbarians of Gaul, the Swedish vikings and the Romans. From there the possibilities are limitless.


We can't just steal the plot from Lost though.
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SynthR
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Re: Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
Reply #4 - 06/10/09 at 22:59:39
 
That is like Lost isn't it? haha. I wasn't even thinking about it. Scrap that idea then.
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Re: Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
Reply #5 - 06/10/09 at 23:13:40
 
I like the idea of being a romantic comedy for about 20 minutes and then somehow everyone dies and then we introduce a time machine that takes our main hero back in time who then in teams with fucking vikings to take on ZOMBIE gay pirates with penis shaped swords.

Let's have our main protagonist Frank Hardcastle (surly someone out there can think up a better name then that one.) start out the movie being your average Joe whose trying to get in good with his High School Sweetheart.

On his way home from buying her flowers and candy (about 20 minutes in...) TERRORISTS show up fucking kill everyone else in the film except for Frank ... this can also be when he looses his eye and puts on a badass eye-patch.

Frank then builds himself a time machine in an attempt to go back and kill the terrorists and save his girlfriend BUT he is teloported back to mid-evil times and teams with said vikings to take on said gay zombie pirates with penis shaped swords.

... this is a start  Grin
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Re: Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
Reply #6 - 06/10/09 at 23:52:34
 
Instead of terrorists showing up and killing everyone it needs to be fucking ninjas. I mean, if youre going to have zombies, pirates, and vikings then you have to have ninjas. Its just common sense. And they cant just be ninjas they have to be some kind of special ninjas like hot women robot ninjas with huge breasts that shoot poison darts.

Then during an epic ship to ship battle between the gay zombie pirates and the vikings, sharks show up with freakin laser beams attached to their heads. These Landsharks have legs and arms and can jump out of the water and land on the decks of peoples ships and bite heads off and slice people apart with their laser beams.

Also, Frank Hardcastle has to say Schwarzeneggar one liners the entire time every time he kills something or someone.
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Re: Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
Reply #7 - 06/11/09 at 01:59:28
 
I envision trench warfare between zombies and ninjas (thousands on each side), and then a scene where they all come out of the trenches and run towards each other (with a city in between for some reason), and they have close quarters combat on populated streets. Meanwile, Dex Sexton crouches on top of a street light with his night vision goggles (it is not night), watching the action. At some point, all the zombies combine to make a giant zombie and all the ninjas combine to make a giant zombie, and there is a cheesy power-rangers style fight. Dex Sexton can wear a rocket pack and unload with two uzis, gangsta style, on the giant zombie / ninja.
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Re: Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
Reply #8 - 06/11/09 at 05:57:42
 
Why would zombies and ninjas be in trenches? Come on Nightshade, god! Lets be realistic here.

I do however think we should have a character named Dex Sexton.
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Re: Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
Reply #9 - 06/11/09 at 15:17:05
 
Warfare between zombies and midgets and clowns.


I would love to see a Zombie clown. Or a Zombie clown midget.
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Re: Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
Reply #10 - 06/11/09 at 17:34:50
 
Let's make the midget clown a main character who eventually turns into a zombie. His name can be Dinky Toy the Elephant Tamer or something.
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Re: Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
Reply #11 - 06/12/09 at 04:01:54
 
Dex Sexton is quite possibly the best character name I think I've ever read. Therefore Dex is being bumped to main character status. I think he should be a Vietnam Vet with some sort of post traumatic stress disorder. This should be noted by every single character at every opportunity.

Its funny that you should mention wearing night vision goggles during the day. One of my favorite low budget camera techniques is the old "put some black rings around the camera lense to make it look like a pair of binoculars" shot. So definitely need to have the night vision (during the day) scene

We need a main protagonist now. Someone who is the evilest charter imaginable. Hitler looks at this guy and goes "damn... that guy is pretty bad" now ultimately Mr. Protagonist has to be from the middle-ages right? Or will he be a time traveler as well?

Zombie Abe Lincoln will be in the film at some point as well too.
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Re: Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
Reply #12 - 06/12/09 at 05:04:16
 
XIZOR wrote on 06/11/09 at 05:57:42:
Why would zombies and ninjas be in trenches? Come on Nightshade, god! Lets be realistic here.

I do however think we should have a character named Dex Sexton.


Because they're fighting with muskets, like ninjas and zombies always do.
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Re: Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
Reply #13 - 06/12/09 at 06:28:59
 
LOL this movie sounds pretty weird
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Re: Let's Write The Most Over The Top Movie Imaginable
Reply #14 - 06/12/09 at 14:58:43
 
Main protagonist should be Mac Uppity. Someone so fucking PC, snobby, and uptight that he want's the world in a perfect state, and Dex is just fucking, drinking and farting all the time to mess his plans up.

While we're at it, the 2 main countries that are battling.........thier ammo can only be regulated to rubber chickens, pies, whoopie cushions, hand buzzers, pea shooters, spit balls, and wedgies.
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