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How to Win a Girl's Heart. (Read 18931 times)
Magnum
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Re: How to Win a Girl's Heart.
Reply #15 - 06/11/09 at 15:42:50
 
Quote:
You win a girls heart by fucking her brains out and sticking around so she can make you dinner.




Amen brother! Full stomach and empty balls = one happy caveman.
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Re: How to Win a Girl's Heart.
Reply #16 - 06/13/09 at 21:51:05
 
You win a girls heart by fucking her in this ass and making her fart out her mouth.
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Re: How to Win a Girl's Heart.
Reply #17 - 06/14/09 at 16:09:01
 
XIZOR wrote on 06/13/09 at 21:51:05:
You win a girls heart by fucking her in this ass and making her fart out her mouth.


While your at it, you might as well donkey punch her too if that's the case.
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Re: How to Win a Girl's Heart.
Reply #18 - 06/17/09 at 17:15:27
 
I have a story that I would like to share, because I'm sure you guys will get a kick out of it. Xizor already knows this one... so just act surprised. So I have this chick that I'm trying to fuck and I'm getting close. Well the other night I had her over at my house and one thing lead to another and I got her on my bed and was fingering her. Little did I know, she squirts. No I didn't get hit in the face, but thanks for the concern.

After she was done she said "do you have a towel?" and without missing a beat I go, "No, but I have a Shamwow" .... so I gave her the fucking thing and she cleaned up with it!

So yea, I fingered a chick and then gave her a Shamwow. That is the quickest way to a girls heart.
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Re: How to Win a Girl's Heart.
Reply #19 - 06/17/09 at 20:49:22
 
money, end of thread. Wink
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Re: How to Win a Girl's Heart.
Reply #20 - 06/18/09 at 01:14:41
 
Woman only want to munch carpet so fuck those dyke bitches.
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Re: How to Win a Girl's Heart.
Reply #21 - 06/18/09 at 05:12:08
 
haha, that fat bitch is wearing a thong... ewwwwwy  I bet that thong was the slingshot that Davie used to kill Goliath

and the quickest way to a girl's heart is with a 12-gauge..
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Re: How to Win a Girl's Heart.
Reply #22 - 06/18/09 at 08:49:59
 
God damn. I thought you were dead.
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Re: How to Win a Girl's Heart.
Reply #23 - 06/18/09 at 14:47:39
 
She squirts and you give her a shamwow. That's fucking class. OMFG that's pretty awesome. You gotta get that in a cup and chug it down dude. Prove you really care. Then you can say to her "now it's your turn" and wiggle your cock in her face.

To bad this isn't the old TMA. You'd definately be getting a belt for that.

Wait.......WTF are belts?

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Re: How to Win a Girl's Heart.
Reply #24 - 06/18/09 at 16:40:10
 
Magnum wrote on 06/18/09 at 14:47:39:
She squirts and you give her a shamwow. That's fucking class. OMFG that's pretty awesome. You gotta get that in a cup and chug it down dude. Prove you really care. Then you can say to her "now it's your turn" and wiggle your cock in her face.

To bad this isn't the old TMA. You'd definately be getting a belt for that.

Wait.......WTF are belts?



The best part is I was like half joking when I threw her the Shamwow, but then she used it and it was the proudest moment of my life  Cool

And for those wondering yes... it absorbed everything. I think I am going to sew together like 20 of them and make a bedspread out of it. They're the perfect cure for "the wet spot" after sex.
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Re: How to Win a Girl's Heart.
Reply #25 - 06/18/09 at 16:49:07
 
I dont understand how you wash shamwows though. Wouldnt they just absorb all the water in the washing machine?
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Re: How to Win a Girl's Heart.
Reply #26 - 06/19/09 at 14:39:24
 
XIZOR wrote on 06/18/09 at 16:49:07:
I dont understand how you wash shamwows though. Wouldnt they just absorb all the water in the washing machine?


It mashes the water out of it on the spin cycle so it's only slightly damp. You can air dry them afterwards.

If she squrits as bad as you say she does, you'd better make that bedsheet of shammies. A fucking fire hydrant cunt could mean a hell of alot of laundry.
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Re: How to Win a Girl's Heart.
Reply #27 - 06/20/09 at 12:16:20
 
Writing a song about her.

Haha just kidding that is gay.

Lots of women are turned on when you murder for them. You can also steal a truck full of tampons. Or beat someone to death for looking at her.

You can also buy a car for her. Then when she goes on her first solo drive report the car as stolen. Sue her. Then when she is out of jail let her know you are just pranking her. Women love being tormented for fun.
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