Twisted Metal: Harold
by Mosh (TMA), Written on June 9th, 2020

In an abandoned opera house nearby Midtown Park a group of people have been taken hostage by Sweet Tooth and his gang comprised of dwarfs, armed to the teeth, while police and news people wait outside.

(Outside Midtown Opera House, at night)

(Police cars surround building with lights shining towards the windows of the building)

Female News Reporter for MCNN - Midtown City News Network (speaking to camera man):
Sweet Tooth the Clown, real name: Ned Kane, aka Needles, a circus performer who used needles in his acts, killed a man named Scott Campbell in front of a crowd of children, and has since assembled a gang of other circus performers and are holding hostages at the Midtown Opera House. His demands are unclear at the moment but he has personally invited the police to the scene.

(Inside Midtown Opera House, where Sweet Tooth and his gang wait with hostages)

Melvin - Now what, boss? Is it time to kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out?

Sweet Tooth - Their lives do no matter. What matters is Harold.

Melvin - You really loved that bag didn't you?

Sweet Tooth - Bag??? He's a Lunch Sack, you midget. Crazy Harold the Wacky Lunch Sack has been with me since I first started clowning.

Melvin - Hey! I'm a dwaaarf!!!

Sweet Tooth - See, labels matter.

(One of the many hostages tries to sneak away)

Melvin - Where do you think you're going?

(Melvin shoots the hostage in the leg while the other hostages scream)

Sweet Tooth - Opera House screams are beautiful, aren't they?

(Sweet Tooth's phone rings, the same one he used to contact the police to the scene, and he picks up...)

Commissioner Stone (on phone) - This is Police Commissioner Stone. Those hostages better be unharmed. What the hell is it you want, Needles?

Sweet Tooth - I want my best friend back!

Stone - Who the hell is that?

Sweet Tooth - Harold, the Lunch Sack. I had him locked in a display case at Calypso's Circus and it was stolen. I saw some pale looking idiot sneaking around that area of the circus tent after finding it missing so I gutted him in front of a group of boys and girls while singing.  Usually Harold would have been around to keep me from overreacting. So, listen, Stone, me and my boys are going to burn Midtown Park down and kill these hostages if I don't get Harold back right now.

Stone - You fucking maniac, you hurt a single one of those hostages and you will wish you were back at clown college!

(Stone hangs up)

(Melvin and the rest of the gang look to Sweet Tooth for further instruction)

Sweet Tooth - Well, boys, looks like you're going to get your wish. Kill them all. Have fun and try to impress me while you do it. Ha Ha Ha Ha.

(Melvin, Micro-Blast, Little-P, and Jaffo the Clown start cutting the throats of the hostages, killing them sadistically, while some run away in panic... Sweet Tooth guns down those fleeing)

(Suddenly there is an explosion, and the wall is broken up. It is WARHAWK, the aerial assault aircraft, on the other side, blasting through the Opera House walls)

Warhawk Pilot - Hey, shitheads.

(Warhawk shoots machine guns and rocket fire at the clowns, killing Little-P)

Melvin - Shithead? (angrily) That only happened once to me!

Jaffo - Twice to me.

(Melvin and Jaffo shoot away but Warhawk's shields are too strong)

(Sweet Tooth unleashes an RPG missile launcher)

Sweet Tooth - This calls for a bigger ice cream cone, you midget goons.

Melvin - We are Dwarfs!!!

(Warhawk's machine gun fire hits Melvin in the head)

(Part of the ceiling falls on Jaffo, crushing him)

(Microblast runs away)

(Sweet Tooth fires missile, hitting Warhawk. The pilot luckily ejects just in time, while the aircraft spirals downward and crashes)

Sweet Tooth - Spin off out of here, war pig! Ha ha ha!

(Suddenly there is a flash of light)

(Sweet Tooth is teleported away from the wreckage and the area and transported to a giant garage full of wrecked and unwrecked automobiles and vehicles)

(Sweet Tooth looks at vehicles scattered about such as an ice cream truck with pink polka dots and a flaming clown head... he also sees a front end loader, monster truck, sports car, and a 1970 Chevrolet El Camino)

Calypso - Like what you see?

(Calypso sits on his throne, made of broken automobile parts. He has a sadistic smile.)

(Behind Calypso is an armored suited figure. He is wearing all black armor and appears to have no eyes under his armored helmet.)

(Sweet Tooth doesn't seem impressed by the sorcerer.)

Sweet Tooth - Where is Harold, freak? I will scoop out your eyes if I don't like your answer.

Calypso - My name is Calypso. You worked at my circus, Mr. Kane. I am well aware of the kidnapping that took place and I can help you...
For you see, your friend Harold was kidnapped by your own father, Charlie Kane, a former driver of yellow taxi cabs.

Sweet Tooth - My father is dead.

Calypso - No. He is very much alive. He left you and your mother years ago when he faked his death, and started going by the fake identity of Marcus Spears, and recently he hired a private investigator to find out more about his lost son. A man named Scott Campbell. Scott discovered your friendship with Crazy Harold the Lunch Sack and when he told Marcus, ...well, your dad was very jealous to know you had a better relationship with a paper lunch sack than you did with your own father.
So Charlie Kane/Marcus Spears stole your sack, Needles. Scott Campbell helped him and you killed him right after he helped your father steal your best friend away.

Sweet Tooth - Well, I always did want to kill that old fucker when I was young. When I thought he died I was sad it wasn't me who killed him.

Calypso - Then I have the perfect opportunity for you. A contest named Twisted Metal. My contest. The rules are simple. You drive a vehicle of your choosing, armed with machine guns, missile launchers, and other goodies, and you kill off targets of my choosing in a battleground of my choosing and if you survive you can get whatever you want - including your best friend, Harold, back.

Sweet Tooth - You better not be lying. Evil clowns like myself don't take kindly to bullshit.

Calypso - If I'm lying I'm dying, Mr. Kane. All you have to do is choose your vehicle and we can begin.

(Sweet Tooth looked over to the ice cream truck in the garage)

Calypso - As it has been sung, "We all scream for ice cream."
Good choice, Mr. Kane.
I look forward to seeing you in action.
And please be careful, Mr. Kane. I wouldn't want to see your head on fire.

(Sweet Tooth and the Ice Cream Truck disappear, being transported back to Midtown)

(The Black Armored Entity behind Calypso speaks...)

Black - This colorful mortal seeks a paper sack? My former master, Ash, would never waste such time with such filth. Nor would his apprentice, Minion. They would seek only the best drivers, and at times historical figures, celebrities, such as the great James Dean in 1955's contest. Mr. Ash takes credit for inviting him, but it was really my genius.

Calypso - Ah, Black, how little you understand for a magic demon that is centuries year old.

Black - What... do you.... mean, master?

Calypso -
I mean there is star potential in Sweet Tooth. Our viewers in Hell love the Twisted Metal competition when it has crazy, fucked up, stupid people. They don't want to root for good, sane people.
Do you not remember how low our ratings were when we had that skilled, moralistic pizza delivery boy that looked like Eminem? Or when we did have a rock star like Rob Zombie? You told me the ratings would boom with a celebrity but they didn't, did they?

Black - No... 

Calypso -
But our ratings go up when we have stupid people like Cousin Eddy and that Meat Wagon guy who sold hot dogs. But the numbers could still be better. And I think they can with this Sweet Tooth guy.
And don't get me wrong, Black, we need tragic heroes in the contest, and great drivers, and some resistance from those so called good people who want to shut us down because it keeps things interesting.
But this murderer, Sweet Tooth, he's so out of touch with reality and humanity. I really think we have a winner here.

Black - If you say so, master...

...but be careful what you wish for.

-THE END-