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Message started by PureNRG on 07/25/09 at 07:59:43

Title: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 07/25/09 at 07:59:43
I just found this and thought you might like it, asshole :)



this is the official funny/fucked up pics post, since the last one burned down with TMA. I'd post more but I'm going to bed..
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SLAYERx78 on 07/25/09 at 08:32:14
ok, its war!!! :D

ps; how do you post pics? this was the only way i could.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 07/25/09 at 16:15:29
Don't we have this topic on "Thread is gay" ?

Ohhhhhhh...that's right. Your thinking outside the bun.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Pse7en on 07/25/09 at 16:38:36
fuck that, those are my card playing buddies.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 07/25/09 at 18:45:08
A whole thread just for me? Makes sense I guess cause Im so fucking incredibly amazing awesome.

You must be done trying to suck Kyles dick and now youre trying to suck mine. Well FUCK OFF!

I got an idea. Next time you are working on your car, leave the car running and make sure to shut all the doors and windows in your garage. Then, just let the fumes take over. You can die doing what you love.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by GrindhouseCinema on 07/26/09 at 16:45:55

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PRS-man on 07/27/09 at 02:53:19
I'm too lazy to post them all, so: http://pophangover.com/?p=4262
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PRS-man on 08/02/09 at 07:40:00

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 08/02/09 at 08:41:47
Fuck all of you.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 08/02/09 at 09:56:42
heh, why dont YOU go sit in a garage with the car runn.. oh wait.. no car, right?


































































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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PRS-man on 08/02/09 at 18:01:57

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Pse7en on 08/02/09 at 21:56:04
Thats all I work with is epic boobs.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 08/02/09 at 23:58:51
yea, got a shitload of epic boob ones in the thread we got going on the cat forum.. and alot of jailbait ones too, apparently
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PRS-man on 08/03/09 at 15:27:08
Just Google Image Search Epic Boobs and Jailbait.




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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Pse7en on 08/10/09 at 19:54:33

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PRS-man on 08/16/09 at 08:00:26

I win
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 08/16/09 at 15:45:38
Well damn!

I dunno how you could bust a nut on her face, with the dog staring like that.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PRS-man on 08/17/09 at 00:55:10

I win again
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 08/17/09 at 06:02:18
thats R. Kelly's kinda shit right there
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 08/18/09 at 15:21:56
Wow. I think I'm scarred now.

I bet he put it in her ass....
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PRS-man on 09/07/09 at 08:17:42

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 09/07/09 at 08:56:37





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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PRS-man on 09/09/09 at 06:32:21
Okay... my next one my friend showed me. I was laughing like hell when i saw it... DRAGONS FUCKING CARS!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 09/09/09 at 12:44:48
that's right, fuck that new Beetle right in its stupid ass

and cue smartass comment from Xizor in 3.. 2.. 1..
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 09/09/09 at 13:42:38
Wow.......that was.........really.......ummm.......interesting?

Esspecially the DP on the Camaro.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by O8LIV3R8 on 09/28/09 at 04:27:44

:o
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 09/28/09 at 04:41:42
pffffft, LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot express how fucking funny that was
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 09/28/09 at 15:00:14
That's bullshit. That's why you don't go to E-Harmony for pussy.

I'll link a site when I can.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 09/28/09 at 18:19:26
BTW, Mag.. that's not a Camaro.. its a Plymouth Hemi-Cuda
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by O8LIV3R8 on 09/28/09 at 23:02:13

The Dizaster Child wrote on 09/28/09 at 18:19:26:
BTW, Mag.. that's not a Camaro.. its a Plymouth Hemi-Cuda

You're a little late to the party
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 09/29/09 at 14:42:10
Ehhh.....well it looks like a camaro to me. Cuda's had a longer front end but whatever.

Still fucking weird.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 09/29/09 at 16:52:22
Who gives a shit? This thread is about ME!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 09/30/09 at 17:48:30
look at this spoiled bitch.. ok, I got another cake pic but I gotta find it again

and yes, regardless of the car, that pic is weird
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Ghastly on 09/30/09 at 18:17:46

XIZOR wrote on 09/29/09 at 16:52:22:
Who gives a shit? This thread is about ME!


No one gives a shit about you. You're like my aunt, no one loves you and when you die we're going to leave you out in the backwoods in a ditch so some meth head can shack up with you later.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 09/30/09 at 19:08:56
Who are you again? Oh yeah, someone who doesn't matter at all. Try harder and next time maybe Ill acknowledge your pitiful attempt to brawl with me and entertain you with a masterpiece from the Brawl Master.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 09/30/09 at 20:06:31
I thought Scold was the brawlmaster?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 09/30/09 at 21:39:24
I am "Brawler of the Fucking Universe", "Brawler of the Century", "Brawler of the Year", and now since SCoLD is gone "Brawl Master".
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Ghastly on 09/30/09 at 23:20:32

XIZOR wrote on 09/30/09 at 19:08:56:
Who are you again? Oh yeah, someone who doesn't matter at all. Try harder and next time maybe Ill acknowledge your pitiful attempt to brawl with me and entertain you with a masterpiece from the Brawl Master.


Case of mistaken identity I'm sure. If you want to see someone who doesn't matter, look at the reflection in your shitterbowl. The only pitiful attempt that was made was you trying to sully my good name by saying I don't matter. What WOULD your masterpiece be? A shitsmeared paragraph about how I get eaten by a somesort of creature that is supposed to be you? Listen asswipe, the only way you could actually come close to being recognized is if you ran out in front of a train wearing a gay pride flag and wearing a helmet with a dildo on it.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by O8LIV3R8 on 10/01/09 at 01:18:17

Ghastly wrote on 09/30/09 at 23:20:32:
Case of mistaken identity I'm sure. If you want to see someone who doesn't matter, look at the reflection in your shitterbowl. The only pitiful attempt that was made was you trying to sully my good name by saying I don't matter. What WOULD your masterpiece be? A shitsmeared paragraph about how I get eaten by a somesort of creature that is supposed to be you? Listen asswipe, the only way you could actually come close to being recognized is if you ran out in front of a train wearing a gay pride flag and wearing a helmet with a dildo on it.

Good name? Ha! You can't get a good name if you've only been around for about 3 months with 40 posts, none of them scraping the paint of the TMAlliance legacy. Try harder!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 10/01/09 at 02:58:46
this is actually kinda funny.. it reminds me of Xizor vs. I Eat Babies
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Ghastly on 10/01/09 at 03:23:49

wrote on 10/01/09 at 01:18:17:
Good name? Ha! You can't get a good name if you've only been around for about 3 months with 40 posts, none of them scraping the paint of the TMAlliance legacy. Try harder!


Who the fuck are you and why are you talking to me? HA! I've been here for longer than 3 months, jackass. If we had the regular TMA you'd know I've been around for a solid 3 years or so. Take your veteran status and shove it up your ass til you can feel the purple heart in your gut.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by O8LIV3R8 on 10/01/09 at 04:28:40

Ghastly wrote on 10/01/09 at 03:23:49:
Who the fuck are you and why are you talking to me? HA! I've been here for longer than 3 months, jackass. If we had the regular TMA you'd know I've been around for a solid 3 years or so. Take your veteran status and shove it up your ass til you can feel the purple heart in your gut.

First off, I never said anything about me having veteran status. Second, if you've been around for a said 3 years, how come I don't ever remember you?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Ghastly on 10/01/09 at 05:31:58
Then how the hell are you going to call me a fucking noob? You don't remember me because you're a fucking tool. Had some awards from Scold for my my fan fics. If you don't beleive me that's your own damn fault.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by O8LIV3R8 on 10/01/09 at 05:44:33

Ghastly wrote on 10/01/09 at 05:31:58:
Then how the hell are you going to call me a fucking noob? You don't remember me because you're a fucking tool. Had some awards from Scold for my my fan fics. If you don't beleive me that's your own damn fault.

Going to call you a noob is right, seeing as I haven't said that yet. Second, I don't fucking give a damn if -SCoLD- gave you belts. They're just a strip of text -_-
-------------------------[Has a Dick]------------------------------
True, but it is a fucking strip of text. What am I supposed to say? Yippee, you had belts. Fuck I have a belt on my shelf that looks like a Chevy seatbelt, but I don't brag about that. And I never said I didn't believe you, you bundle of sticks. When you mature, you will find out what a 'bundle of sticks' is. And unlike what you may believe, it is not a homosexual orgy.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 10/01/09 at 08:48:41
Oh goodie. Noob bashing is so much fun. Especially two-dimensional posters that have nothing to say and have no originality. It just means I have to be more interesting since there is nothing about you that stands out. The normal shithead bashing simply wont do here. I guess Ill start by showing you some true writing skills. I’m just gonna whip this up fast so it wont be my best work, but it should be far beyond your pathetic attempts at fanfics or that little short story you posted about your father beating your mother and her stabbing him or whatever it was. I’ve got to get back to ODST after all.

Xizor awoke to the sound of his phone ringing loudly; looking right and left and noticing the still sleeping hot babes on either side of him, he couldn’t quite reach the phone. Two hotties, he thought to himself; must have been a wild night last night. Or maybe it was just Tuesday again. Sitting up on the bed he brought his hand up and slapped the still naked brunette to his left across the face. “Bitch, hand me that fucking phone. What are you deaf? You don’t hear my phone ringing in your fucking ears?” Rubbing her now reddened face the attractive young girl handed Xizor his phone just in time for him to answer. She looked irritated to be struck like some ho being slapped by her pimp for not paying up on time, but she knew better than to talk back to the amazing Xizor. If she was lucky she might get invited back to his Italian Mansion again in the future to get fucked a second time.

“What,” he answered somewhat angrily, not appreciating in the slightest being awoken from his drunken slumber as he grabbed the brunette by the hair and shoved her head in his crotch. She started sucking as Magnum spoke.

“Xizor, its Magnum. We have a problem. There is this new shitty poster named Ghastly. He fucking keeps posting these god awful fanfics and replies. TMA is gonna need you to take care of this mess before it gets out of control. And do I hear a girl sucking your dick?”

“Of course a girl is sucking my dick. Why wouldn’t a girl be sucking my dick? And did you say his name is Ghastly? The name alone is worth killing him over. Just upload his information to my account and Ill take care of him.” Xizor waited patiently as Magnum uploaded the files and then he opened the links to Ghastly’s posts and quickly skimmed over them, appalled at how terrible they were. “Damn Mags, this is fucking awful. I’ll take care of this shithead free of charge. I can’t allow TMA to be tainted by losers like this. This guy is worse than PureNRG except he doesn’t blab on about cars.”

“I agree, this guy makes PureNRG seem cool and hip. Just watch your ass….and your cock. This guy is known to try to suck and fuck both,” said Magnum relieved to hear the worst poster in TMA history was about to be dealt with free of charge by Xizor, the most bad ass fighter, multiple girl fucker, and poster of all time.

“Don’t worry, I’m used to people trying to suck my cock. Isn’t that right sweetie,” Xizor said as a faint muffled uh huh could be heard in the background over the sound of wet saliva filled slurping and sucking. “Just let me bust this nut and Ill get right on killing Ghastly.”

An hour later Xizor’s stealth combat fighter was on auto-pilot circling in a random juke and jink pattern over the drop zone of the last known location of Ghastly; his newly acquired target and enemy of the Twisted Metal Alliance community. He was in the back weapons compartment putting the final pieces of his armored suit together, checking and cleaning his weapons before meditating briefly; the calm before the storm he always called it. After centering his Chi flow and bringing his mindset into what could only be referred to as “kill mode”, he took one last glance at the data on his target before settling into his drop pod. Satisfied that everything was in place for the mission he pulled the “release” lever and was instantly jerked forward in his harness as the one-man orbital pod jettisoned from the bottom of the stealth craft. Xizor closed his eyes and took a lasting deep breath; he knew this would be the last relaxing moments before undertaking the easy, yet serious assassin mission ahead.

Turbulence hit the small craft hard and the updraft from the windy weather below slung the craft back and forth in and endless erratic dance in the sky. His metal armored shoulder pads slamming left, right, left, left, right, left, right, right into the sides of the seat in an offbeat rhythmic pattern that soothed his soul. Xizor hit the thruster pads just as the pods tradgectory failsafe systems kicked into overdrive to try and maintain the proper course he’d laid out earlier. He planned on going in hot and basically crash landing right on top of the projected target’s hideout.

Ten thousands meters till impact. Nine Thousand, eight thousand, seven thousand, he checked the ammo count on his weapons one last time as he cocked back the levers; briefly he touched the handle of the blade strung across his back. Four thousand, three thousand, this was it, all or nothing. One thousand, he braced for impact as the small shuttle pod slammed through the roof of Ghastly’s shanty town-esq domain, crashing down in the center of a large room that appeared to be the center of a massive orgy of all-male humans and animals. Goats, chickens, donkeys, sloths – yes I fucking said sloths – ran in every direction possible to get away from the fallen meteorite of doom that had just come crashing down from the heavens into the mist of this gay human slash animal orgy he had fallen into.  Most of the naked male humans sat in awe at what had just transpired, to afraid to make a move in any way in fear they would be trampled by the massive ass rape zoo stampede that was running rampant throughout the establishment. Obviously, Xizor had just upset the perfectly maintained balance of a delicate unnatural multi-species homo-erotic fuckfest that had been going on long before he came crashing through the ceiling like the ever amazing dinosaur killing comet that supposedly struck earth all those years ago; taking with it an entire established pecking order of a simple yet lavish prehistoric food chain.

As the dust settled on what could only be described as “the gayest thing to ever happened on the planet earth” the front panel of Xizor’s pod blew off across the room loudly slaying a random goat instantly in a quick audible mesh of metal and wet bloody flesh sounds. The bad ass stepped out of the pod and spoke with a death defying voice that was projected by the external speakers of his enhanced suit of armor and said simply, “where is Ghastly.”

A pale skinny, nerdy looking fuck who was covered in a makeshift gay vest of various animal skins pulled his dick out of a chicken and proclaimed with unexpected confidence, “I am Ghastly. And how dare you interrupt my gay man and animal orgy. Who dares break down the headway of thy humble abode,” the man asked fully erect as he gently fondled the scrotum of a nearby donkey.

With one simple all encompassing line that summed up the full extent of such an outlandish aerial assault Xizor simply said, “I did you gay ass shitty fanfic posting son of a bitch”. He said this as he lit up a cigar…which made absolutely no sense considering he couldn’t smoke this Cuban beauty with his high tech headgear on. So instead he threw the cigar off to the side and put away his custom made gold plated Zippo lighter in a secret chest plate compartment normally reserved for ammo. Xizor was just that bad ass that he could do something like that and it wouldn’t fucking matter. James Bond couldn’t have pulled such a smooth move off even if he’d been jacked up on Extasy and Cocaine.

Xizor quickly removed the large sword from the sheath on his back and pointed the shiny blade directly at Ghastly. “I will end you boy, but first Ill take away your weapons….both of them. First, the small one….the one that you had in that chicken….that is still erect as you gaze into my eyes….” As awkward as this was Xizor didn’t dare move his visor an inch, keeping completely calm and controlled as he confronted what was apparently just a young sexually confused adolescent male with a lot of money and a love for writing fictitious Twisted Metal fan love poems. This guy was nothing to fret or lose sleep over, but he had to be dealt with all the same; put out of his own misery and that of every respectable poster within the Alliance community.

In reality, what happened next only transpired over a span of time that was perceptive to someone completely attuned to a higher force; a spiritual plane that only the most advanced forms of the human race ever truly managed to achieve with their minds. Brutally artful dissection of limbs transpired in slow-motion as they often did, the reactions of others seemingly almost infantile, predictable in their every wave.

In moments Xizor was across the room with the handle of his sword held tightly between both hands and the blade fully extended outward to his right side. He quickly slashed the midsection of Ghastly’s body open and pulled the smaller intestines out and wrapped them around the young mans neck as if to choke him. Possessed by the spirit of the late David Carradine, he quickly hung the young man from his neck and listened to much pleasure and enjoyment as the poor unfortunate soul coughed and gagged as he struggled to maintain a steady air flow to his lungs. Just as he was taking his last breath Ghastly climaxed and then hung limp from the rusty metal pipe that resided openly from the less than up to FDC specification ceiling…which, was odd because gays of this magnitude usually had very elaborate tastes in decoration. I mean, there was no way a fag like Ghastly was going to allow metal pipes to just be hanging loosely from the ceiling like this…in the room where he and others performed falacio on animals and other guys....

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 10/01/09 at 08:49:52
...AND aliens. Yeah, fucking aliens got blown by Ghastly because they told him their “alien juice” would make him smarter than every other human and animal on earth. So there is that whole plot I forgot to mention.

So yeah, Ghastly just like dies and shit. But really…did you expect anything else; I mean this story is already creative as fucking shit but I can’t just come up with like Hollywood type twists and turns and moments back to back to back in every post. I try and shit. But this was the best I could do on the spot. Yes, there should have been more backstory as to why Ghastly was so horrible at fanfics and posting but if you really want the backstory just look at TMAs posts and replies within the last week or so and you can see why he sucks.


Calling yourself Fanfic Guy is pretty pompous for someone who hasn’t even written one GOOD fanfic. Fanfics are for those who aren’t creative or original enough to come up with something on their own so they just rehash shit that other people have already come up with. And you have to ask other people at the site to help determine the plot and outcome on top of that. How pathetic. Just stop working on your half-ass “fanfic” now before you embarrass yourself any further. TM fanfics have been done plenty of times – and done a lot better – before you came along so you aren’t really adding anything to the site. I really can’t take someone serious who’s named after a Pokemon character any ways. If ghastly is in fact reference to how horrible your posts and writing is then I guess it’s spot on.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Kilrgrn on 10/01/09 at 10:34:02
Xizor, why did I picture you as an ODST unit?

Hilarious btw
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Toasty on 10/01/09 at 12:46:51

wrote on 10/01/09 at 05:44:33:
Going to call you a noob is right, seeing as I haven't said that yet. Second, I don't fucking give a damn if -SCoLD- gave you belts. They're just a strip of text -_-
-------------------------[Has a Dick]------------------------------
True, but it is a fucking strip of text. What am I supposed to say? Yippee, you had belts. Fuck I have a belt on my shelf that looks like a Chevy seatbelt, but I don't brag about that. And I never said I didn't believe you, you bundle of sticks. When you mature, you will find out what a 'bundle of sticks' is. And unlike what you may believe, it is not a homosexual orgy.


Keep jumping that bandwagon, bitch!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 10/01/09 at 14:44:08
LMFAO @ Xizor!!!

I'm not here for one fucking day, and everything goes to hell.

Typical.


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 10/01/09 at 17:58:59

Kilrgrn wrote on 10/01/09 at 10:34:02:
Xizor, why did I picture you as an ODST unit?

Hilarious btw


I have no idea how you could possibly make that correlation. ;) Ive only been playing ODST nonstop so it might have slightly influenced my story.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by O8LIV3R8 on 10/01/09 at 22:25:14
...anyway, to return to the purpose of this post:


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 10/01/09 at 23:12:28
WTF is up with that girl in the back. She looks like the chick on the cover of the Wii Dead Space game.


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by O8LIV3R8 on 10/01/09 at 23:15:24
lol. She kinda does. Like she just had some un-expected butt-sex
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 10/03/09 at 05:48:54
this is whats going on behind her:


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 10/03/09 at 14:28:25
those 2 girls with the one screaming behind them are fine. I like how the blonde is biting her lip like your cramming your cock in her ass, like the one behind her.

Then the redhead gets it!!!

REAL?!?! OR BULLSHIT?!?!?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9L2lDHNmRFw


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Ghastly on 10/04/09 at 19:02:42
hehe...I lost.

Saw that vid the other day magnum, I lost it the moment the ghosts started kicking eachother.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by O8LIV3R8 on 10/05/09 at 02:50:14

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 10/05/09 at 06:05:02
my friend's dog does that all the time.. I make fun of him, saying his dog is a mouthraper. it doesnt matter which dog, either.. they got one thats older than shit and he still tries to fuck her
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 10/06/09 at 00:13:52
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9T1vfsHYiKY
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 10/06/09 at 13:55:53
That was funny as hell. It'd been hilarious if the bird actually dropped a nut on his neck.

That'd been Alpha.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 10/07/09 at 00:11:34
Epic Win.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Hj5vOIrTEs
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 10/07/09 at 13:41:04
That.....was shhhhhhaaaaaawwweet!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by O8LIV3R8 on 10/08/09 at 04:05:59

Magnum wrote on 10/07/09 at 13:41:04:
That.....was shhhhhhaaaaaawwweet!

^Very
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Roket on 10/08/09 at 08:13:20
I lmao at the parrot fucking the dudes neck.. what an awesome animal.


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 10/09/09 at 04:54:16
LOL!! that TMNT video was fucking hilarious
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by O8LIV3R8 on 11/10/09 at 22:59:04
VGCATS!!!


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 11/15/09 at 20:58:54
Pictures from Star Wars in Concert. I would have taken some of the actual show but there was no flash photography.

You got your hands up almost like your begging...begging for a little piece of XIZOR.






This poor little guy stalled so I had to give him a push to get'er going again.


Isn't this just adorable?






Me just chilling with my homie Kit Fisto who apparently was distracted by something on the ceiling.


Chewie in glass case for his protection just in case he made me mad and I had to rip his arms off.





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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Psycho SΣ7ΣN on 11/16/09 at 01:23:12
Nice.  But I have a hard time looking at pictures you are personally in since you gave me this one to remember you by.



I remember when you sent this to me. I was playing Ballad Of Ghey Tony when you sent this. Its now always with me LAWL
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 11/16/09 at 01:40:13
You forgot to add the caption I sent with it of "Here's Johnny"
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Psycho SΣ7ΣN on 11/16/09 at 12:10:50

XIZOR wrote on 11/16/09 at 01:40:13:
You forgot to add the caption I sent with it of "Here's Johnny"



That must be your sx face lol.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by KG on 11/16/09 at 16:25:13
Why does it seem like Xizor was copied and pasted from the same image into all of those pictures?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by O8LIV3R8 on 11/16/09 at 23:18:51

Kilrgrn wrote on 11/16/09 at 16:25:13:
Why does it seem like Xizor was copied and pasted from the same image into all of those pictures?

His emotionless face will haunt us all into oblivion.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 11/16/09 at 23:30:38
I do think its sweet that you keep a picture of me with you at all times P7. And the way I look in the photos is my sex face. Usually emotionless, stern, and quiet. I think I developed this back when I was a teenager and we lived in a small house so when I would bring girls home and have sex with them I had to be really quiet so I invented this little game called "hide from the nazis" where the girl would pretend to be Ann Frank and I would be her dad and we had to have sex quietly so as not to alert the nazis in the other room.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 11/17/09 at 14:09:01
Change this thread to Xizor has no dick.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 11/17/09 at 18:30:42
Stop staring at my crotch in those pictures.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 11/18/09 at 06:25:26

XIZOR wrote on 11/16/09 at 23:30:38:
I do think its sweet that you keep a picture of me with you at all times P7. And the way I look in the photos is my sex face. Usually emotionless, stern, and quiet. I think I developed this back when I was a teenager and we lived in a small house so when I would bring girls home and have sex with them I had to be really quiet so I invented this little game called "hide from the nazis" where the girl would pretend to be Ann Frank and I would be her dad and we had to have sex quietly so as not to alert the nazis in the other room.


what...... the....... fuck....... LOL!!

you're the second person I know that wears weird hats and plaid shorts... I give you cred for having the balls to wear that in public
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 11/18/09 at 14:27:00
It's not my fault if my eyes naturally gravitate towards one's nether region.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Ø8LI√3®8 on 11/18/09 at 23:09:39

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Pogo The Clown on 11/19/09 at 03:51:19
I'm surprised you guys still enjoy transposing to suck one another here, wasting time, being useless. It's nothing but a popularity contest here, wiping crumbs off each others faces like wannabe pop stars. Since high school, residuals of pompous demeanor tend to incriminate the fagots who still think their cool *insinuative cough*.

Figuratively dispensed into the perimeters of cyber waste, the numbers keep expanding. Hang on a little longer, things might change. Talk into the box bellow, yes, yes, effervesce the matter you assimilate in order to sustain an excess of life you don't even need, just as gluttonous and arrogant as a beast oblivious of it's own foul and consuming nature. Need a personality exchange, tired of your own? Come here, you'll consolidate just as immensely as socialism does.


 
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 11/19/09 at 05:27:59
Damn, and I thought you were gone for good after I completely owned you on these boards a few months ago. Your posts still make no sense whatsoever. You sound like a retarded nigger who couldn't read and write and then went to prison for 10 years and gotza hisa edumacation on da inside so now heza uses big words so he sounds like hez knos something smart. You are just embarrassing yourself by trying to sound like you know big words when in fact most of them don't make sense within the context of what you are saying. You look like an ass.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Psycho SΣ7ΣN on 11/19/09 at 16:46:07

XIZOR wrote on 11/19/09 at 05:27:59:
Damn, and I thought you were gone for good after I completely owned you on these boards a few months ago. Your posts still make no sense whatsoever. You sound like a retarded nigger who couldn't read and write and then went to prison for 10 years and gotza hisa edumacation on da inside so now heza uses big words so he sounds like hez knos something smart. You are just embarrassing yourself by trying to sound like you know big words when in fact most of them don't make sense within the context of what you are saying. You look like an ass.



I loled - hard. I almost blew coffee out my nose from laughing so hard. lawl lfmao!!!!



Zerathustra wrote on 11/19/09 at 03:51:19:
I'm surprised you guys still enjoy transposing to suck one another here, wasting time, being useless. It's nothing but a popularity contest here, wiping crumbs off each others faces like wannabe pop stars. Since high school, residuals of pompous demeanor tend to incriminate the fagots who still think their cool *insinuative cough*.

Figuratively dispensed into the perimeters of cyber waste, the numbers keep expanding. Hang on a little longer, things might change. Talk into the box bellow, yes, yes, effervesce the matter you assimilate in order to sustain an excess of life you don't even need, just as gluttonous and arrogant as a beast oblivious of it's own foul and consuming nature. Need a personality exchange, tired of your own? Come here, you'll consolidate just as immensely as socialism does.


 



This is full of Ghey Phail. You are full of ghey phailure

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Trichocyst on 11/19/09 at 21:26:29

Zerathustra wrote on 11/19/09 at 03:51:19:
I'm surprised that none of you guys never bothered to call me and ask me to present my little baby penis.

Truth be told, I often expose my tiny penis to large men so that they could insert it into their nostrils. I very much enjoy the feeling of fucking a hairy ass, except to be honest, I can't ever find an ass small enough to provide resistance to my miniscule penis.

Really, my penis is smaller than a cat's penis. Sometimes I make use of this and end up fucking small animals, like birds and mice, but never ones with vaginas.

Vaginas are nasty. I personally was conceived in an anus, and I suckled on my daddy's haemorrhoids until I was 4. After that, I moved up a stage to his dick.
 


Really? We never knew. We never wanted to either.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 11/20/09 at 14:14:56
I'm surprised you even come back here to read and reply. Isn't that hypocritical?

Now that I think about it, you fucking remind of the Ultimate Warrior. Spouting nonsense from your pocket thesaurus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cF4ZTcuhixc
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Trichocyst on 11/20/09 at 16:20:16
Funny how Warrior sounds a lot like religion. Not a parody of religion, but actual religion.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 11/22/09 at 15:13:30
I got to go to that Star Wars show at the Smithsonian. Fucking awesome. Where was yours at Xizor?


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 11/22/09 at 21:35:15
It was Star Wars in Concert and it was in my home town.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Ø8LI√3®8 on 12/01/09 at 02:00:47
http://autocompleteme.com/
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 12/01/09 at 02:19:13
that shit was hilarious LOL
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 12/01/09 at 19:29:24
Billy Mays slept with my mom.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Ø8LI√3®8 on 12/01/09 at 23:16:44

SynthR wrote on 12/01/09 at 19:29:24:
Billy Mays slept with my mom.

KABOOM! FEEL THE POWER OF MY OXI CLEAN!?!?!
Go to Google and type in 'how'
"how long does weed stay in your system"
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by NightShade on 12/02/09 at 01:58:08

wrote on 12/01/09 at 02:00:47:
http://autocompleteme.com/


That's awesome. I didn't know there were so many crazy ones. I did however know that typing "i really" brings up something pretty awesome.

Edit: Oh, it's already on there. Sweet.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Roket on 12/02/09 at 03:04:23
I typed in twisted.. and got twisted cooking mama.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 12/02/09 at 04:29:43
asking how long weed stays in your system is a pretty common question... not all that funny
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 12/02/09 at 07:09:04
The correct answer is "too fucking long" which is why I quit NOT smoking weed and not having to take drug tests for jobs that DIDN'T call me back and got a shitty job at Gamestop where they don't drug test instead. At least minimum wage is 7.25 now and I get discounts and can rent games for free. I think that is really the only reason to work at Gamestop. For a company that makes the mega bucks even during these hard times, they sure don't give a flying fuck about paying their employees fuck all or giving anyone hours. I think they know anyone will work there for the benefits of the job itself.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 12/02/09 at 21:47:34
shit, find me ANY business that really gives a fuck about their employees...

I guess minimum wage explains why all the employees at the local GS drive shitty cars
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Psycho SΣ7ΣN on 12/03/09 at 11:45:05

The Dizaster Child wrote on 12/02/09 at 21:47:34:
shit, find me ANY business that really gives a fuck about their employees...

I guess minimum wage explains why all the employees at the local GS drive shitty cars



Google.

Mafia.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Ø8LI√3®8 on 12/07/09 at 22:17:02

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Ø8LI√3®8 on 12/16/09 at 03:35:20

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 12/18/09 at 11:34:55

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 12/19/09 at 06:05:35
that tree is giving it to... umm.. itself.. ?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Ø8LI√3®8 on 12/28/09 at 17:58:28
For those of you who don't know how sex works:
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 12/29/09 at 15:41:26


For those of you who don't know how to dry your hands.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 12/29/09 at 17:07:13
I don't wash my hands. I live on the edge.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 12/31/09 at 00:58:24
I just find it highly ironic that a post titled "Xizor is a dick" is 7 pages long.


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 12/31/09 at 05:00:25
I find it odd that its not longer. With so many adoring fans I was sure it would be as long as the Earwig thread by now.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 12/31/09 at 16:15:45
The Earwig post is my little baby. Still going strong well over a year later, partly thanks to Xizor. Never thought a guy could stimulate the girth of my post.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 01/01/10 at 12:31:40
Well your baby died with the old TMA. Earwig 2.0 however is thine own creation frankensteined together from the best parts of other threads. Its stronger, better, faster, smarter, and a much more thorough lover in bed than yours ever was! I'll give you credit for the original design, but clearly it took the genius of a mad scientist like me to make it into something of pure greatness.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 01/01/10 at 16:00:09
Man I miss giving out belts.

Well.....suggesting who gets em anyway.......
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 01/01/10 at 16:50:09
You take your credit asshole, but remember I gave birth to it. It was my basement that was infested, not yours!

Would the Earwig post have been the biggest and longest running one ever at TMA? It would have nearly 3000 posts and would of ran about 16 months.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 01/01/10 at 17:36:35
It has still to topple the Juggernaut "Congratulations Clitt" post though. That was a post of pure genius with replies like...

"fontcolor1fffieogop423losn"
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 01/01/10 at 18:44:36
Are you sure? I think our two combined posts would be greater than the Blair spam. I remember his only being about 1600.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 01/01/10 at 20:33:24
You are probably right. We should mesh the two threads together once TMA is back up and call it Voltron Earwig Infestation.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 01/02/10 at 16:05:50
It would be interesting indeed. I think Earwig is bigger than the Clitt post.

The format for pages is different though. I think this forum has longer pages with replies before it moves on to the next.

Correct me if I'm wrong.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DeathStrikesBack on 01/02/10 at 16:12:16
The clitt post would've been fucking dead if the cocksucker hadn't paid to keep it alive, so wouldn't that take it out of the running anyway?

I mean, thats some hard earned internet moonbucks right there, having the largest post on TMA.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 01/02/10 at 16:31:27

DeathStrikesBack wrote on 01/02/10 at 16:12:16:
The clitt post would've been fucking dead if the cocksucker hadn't paid to keep it alive, so wouldn't that take it out of the running anyway?

I mean, thats some hard earned internet moonbucks right there, having the largest post on TMA.


Right. An IMO, that's why I don't think it should even be compared really. Earwig HAS substance. The Clitt post was a vacuum.

A big, dry, crusted, gaping fucking clitt vacuum.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Psycho SΣ7ΣN on 01/02/10 at 17:02:11
Clitt post was all Blairs posts. SO as far as im concerned it didnt exist. Whoever was involved with Clitt basically was living in Blairs christian dimension and no one else could care less.

It really didnt exist :)
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 01/02/10 at 17:12:36
And it should be noted that I never posted in the Clitt thread, not once...ever. So that right there makes it a lesser thread.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 01/02/10 at 18:03:33
I like the Voltron Earwig Infestation idea. And I'll form the wig.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 01/03/10 at 07:54:33
you guys do realize that when 2.0 is up and running, he's gonna weeble wobble his fat ass in there and make Congratulations Clitt 2.0 and completely rip off Xizor's idea here... much like how Xizor ripped off SynthR's idea from TMA

jus saying...
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 01/03/10 at 15:57:34
No. I hightly doubt Mort will allow Blair free roam of the new TMA.

Blair will probably be there but, there will be the option to ignore him. You will be able to turn his profile off and not see him or his replies & posts. At least that's what I have heard/been told.

What Clitt post?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 01/03/10 at 16:01:41
If that feature isn't implemented, then what?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Ø8LI√3®8 on 01/03/10 at 23:24:54




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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 01/04/10 at 06:41:13
LMAO!!!!!!!! God do I love demotivational posters and FAIL pics.. that last one is awesome

if that feature is not implemented, then we call in an airstrike on his house and reduce it to rubble. since he spent all his trust fund money on the old TMA, he's left with nothing to rebuild with. he'll be forced to live on the streets and suck cock for food and shelter. I mean, he already does that anyway, but at least now he's prepared for it
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by -SCoLD- on 01/06/10 at 14:24:12
I have nowhere else to put this, and since I seen some FAIL pics earlier, fuck it...Xizor still blows btw.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4EvVErNhVE
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 01/06/10 at 15:38:53
Is that shit a joke? What makes me laugh about these female body changing products is the fact that someone is going to find out eventually. You take some guy home to fuck around and he finds out you wear a girdle, a hair piece, this fucking thing and some bra to fill out your tits. What kind of shit is that? I feel sorry for any female that thinks they have to go this far to attract attention. No guy wants to sleep with a mannequin.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 01/06/10 at 16:20:09
LOL! Does it make an achievement unlocked sound at about 58 seconds?

Achievement unlocked....Booty Pop
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Ø8LI√3®8 on 01/06/10 at 23:15:40
Only a matter of time before 'Penis Pop'. If it pops, you lose a nut. Or two.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 01/07/10 at 13:31:24
That's hilarious. WTF will they think of next?

WTF is wrong with sleeping with mannequins? At least they don't say no.....

Spent half a week stuck in Macy's
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 01/07/10 at 15:11:51
Ha, it definitely doesn't make the achievement sound, but it fucking should.

If I enjoyed sleeping with a mannequin I would have stayed with my Ex.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Ø8LI√3®8 on 01/07/10 at 23:10:37

SynthR wrote on 01/07/10 at 15:11:51:
If I enjoyed sleeping with a mannequin I would have stayed with my Ex.

Oh snap!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 01/07/10 at 23:47:31
Your ex was a mannequin? I guess that's better than a blow up doll.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 01/08/10 at 02:07:16
It saved money on replacements.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by -SCoLD- on 01/08/10 at 18:52:16
Dinner and a movie is a lot cheaper too.  The blowjobs aren't anything to write in the rocks about though.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 01/08/10 at 23:30:24
wow, this site never fails to amaze me
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 01/09/10 at 15:06:24
Everyone has their problems man. Mine just so happens to be sleeping with lifeless human figures with 5 points of articulation and rock hard nipples.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 01/10/10 at 16:14:47
WTF? LMAO!!

I just got around to watching that stupid infomercial. I swear, if I was about to fuck some chick who was sporting one of those and her ass disappeared once her bottoms came off, I'd jam it in her ass without warning and punch her in the back of the fucking head for wasting my time. like girls with WonderBras.. that shit will make me irrate
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 01/16/10 at 20:07:44
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaAHguzXaME
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 01/26/10 at 00:24:31
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Om9FdCPH9k
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 02/18/10 at 04:20:15






http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs176.snc1/6620_126080216666_541991666_3177151_3358400_n.jpg6

there was one making fun of Toyota, but its too big to post here... it says, "Toyota: Moving Forward.... Whether You Like It Or Not
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 02/18/10 at 04:26:47
LMAO @ grenades one.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 02/18/10 at 11:53:48
Seriously.............disclaimer for the mini screwdrivers.......seriously??

Are those made with Blair in mind or something?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 02/19/10 at 00:44:35
or some other loser who doesnt get sex and feels the need to jam screwdrivers into his cock

what the fuck is wrong with ppl these days??
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 02/19/10 at 11:45:36
Can you imagine some fucking retard going to court suing over that? I can.

"Your honor, I loved these drivers so much I was fooled into making love to them. I blame thier exclelent craftsmanship for luring me into unwarrented sex."
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 02/20/10 at 00:05:41
and he'd probably win too.. the court system in this country sucks. next, we're gonna see Don King suing Wayne Static for ripping off his hairstyle..

oh wait...
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Øbliverate on 03/02/10 at 05:49:56

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Øbliverate on 03/08/10 at 01:33:07

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Psycho SΣ7ΣN on 03/08/10 at 02:01:29
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDW0ZnZxjn4




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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Øbliverate on 03/08/10 at 03:10:36
The blackest man in the world. http://www.facebook.com/BIGGDINK?ref=mf
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Øbliverate on 03/09/10 at 04:52:14


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 03/09/10 at 06:05:45
LMAO!!! that was awesome!!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Øbliverate on 03/10/10 at 02:52:00

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DoktorStrychnine on 03/10/10 at 03:05:58
Shit, I almost laughed myself into a coma looking at that!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 03/10/10 at 13:36:53
Why didn't I think of that shit in school?

Ohhhhh....that's right......I just cut class.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Øbliverate on 03/13/10 at 06:30:10

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Psycho SΣ7ΣN on 03/14/10 at 00:06:29













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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Øbliverate on 03/14/10 at 18:37:06
http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/funny-facebook-anal-fantasy1.png?w=556&h=1759
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 03/15/10 at 07:11:58
LOL

these ppl have alot of time on their hands.. and their cocks apparently
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Øbliverate on 03/17/10 at 01:25:01

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 03/28/10 at 22:09:58
for the Star Wars fans


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PRS-man on 03/31/10 at 05:37:09

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 03/31/10 at 05:40:24
That's pretty damn cool. WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DoktorStrychnine on 03/31/10 at 06:06:21
SO! Funny pictures, eh?

http://engrishfunny.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/engrish-funny-dont-choking.jpg?w=500&h=327

I don't think 'choking' is the word you're looking for.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 03/31/10 at 06:44:10




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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DoktorStrychnine on 03/31/10 at 09:05:13
Check this shit.

Look, it's Blair!

... and what's left of him.

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 03/31/10 at 13:44:45
I wanna bust a nut, cause I'm a Ho's R Us Kid
There's a million Ho's at Ho's R Us that I can fuck with!
From sluts, to gays, to lesbian ways,
it's the biggest Ho store there is!
I wanna bust a nut, and baby I just did!
I love being a Ho's R Us Kid!


2 all beef ballsack, special sauce, from-unda cheese, my big ol pickle in an underwear bun.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DoktorStrychnine on 03/31/10 at 23:34:57

Magnum wrote on 03/31/10 at 13:44:45:
I wanna bust a nut, cause I'm a Ho's R Us Kid
There's a million Ho's at Ho's R Us that I can fuck with!
From sluts, to gays, to lesbian ways,
it's the biggest Ho store there is!
I wanna bust a nut, and baby I just did!
I love being a Ho's R Us Kid!


2 all beef ballsack, special sauce, from-unda cheese, my big ol pickle in an underwear bun.

"Double double supersize, and don't forget the fries"
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PRS-man on 04/06/10 at 04:07:00

http://chzbobshouseofvideogames.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/daily_picdump_352_102.jpg?w=500&h=585

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 04/09/10 at 00:14:40

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DoktorStrychnine on 04/09/10 at 05:26:38

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 04/14/10 at 04:54:01

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 04/14/10 at 05:37:05
LOL!!! Nailin Palin
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DoktorStrychnine on 04/14/10 at 08:02:42

The Dizaster Child wrote on 04/14/10 at 05:37:05:
LOL!!! Nailin Palin


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 04/14/10 at 13:16:56

The Dizaster Child wrote on 04/14/10 at 05:37:05:
LOL!!! Nailin Palin


I'd watch that. Maybe try and get it downloaded for free!

Doc is in a prom dress. How nice!   ;)

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 04/14/10 at 17:55:10

Magnum wrote on 04/14/10 at 13:16:56:
I'd watch that. Maybe try and get it downloaded for free!

My friend showed me some of it. It's actually pretty funny.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DoktorStrychnine on 04/15/10 at 03:42:24

Magnum wrote on 04/14/10 at 13:16:56:
I'd watch that. Maybe try and get it downloaded for free!

Doc is in a prom dress. How nice!   ;)

Yea, School photo. They told us to 'dress nice'. It was the only thing I had other than party clothes and band tees. Look at that guy next to me. What a creeper.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 04/15/10 at 03:42:37

I'm sorry for that.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 04/15/10 at 03:43:31
Awww. PureNRG took his girlfriend to a baseball game. That's so sweet.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 04/15/10 at 03:54:49
no fucking way, that chick is white
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 04/15/10 at 13:23:58
OMFG that is one HUGE fucking ass. Holy fucking shit. She should be paying for 3 seats. That shit right there needs Stuwie walking behind her playing a tuba.  

I thought that guy next to you was your date Doc.  ;D You know the cutie next to you? Ask her if she'd like cream of sum dumb guy.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 04/15/10 at 18:24:19
Man i want to get so fat that i get my own personal seating area at the ballpark. That is cool. I bet there is a hotdog, Peanuts, and Soda guy just making laps around that fat lady.

You could lose a boot in her ass fat.

She looks like she's standing up too. Like the chair is just clipping onto her fat and holding her up.

How does she fit in a car? Do they just put her in the back of a wagon? Surely she cant fit in the front seat of any vehicle.

She's so fat her rolls have rolls and anything that goes inbetween them is lost forever.

She's so fat when she shops for clothes has to go to a special store. Cause she's fucking fat as fuck.

She's so fat that Dominos has a special hotline just for her. The delivery guy has a key to her door so that he can put the pizzas on her naked belly and change out her 9 gallon bedpan.

She's so fat she probably has heart disease.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 04/15/10 at 18:40:21
You could just set your drinks and nachos on her backside there. Looks like a perfect coaster/table.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 04/15/10 at 18:49:10
Intill she farts and the nacho cheese and grease that dripped into her sweaty ass cheeks sprinkes you in the face. Mixed with her farts and ass sweat.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 04/16/10 at 02:05:46
me and my friends call that a tabletop... cause you can put shit on it. but like HB said, you dont wanna put your food or drinks near that fart can

and they use a can of Crisco and a shoehorn to get her into her car, which you know is a fucking Geo Metro or a Toyota Echo
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DoktorStrychnine on 04/16/10 at 02:19:19
Dude, I'd be getting a great movie after the game seeing her trying to get outta that seat. Someone better bring some butter! Oh wait... She is the butter!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/06/10 at 05:19:24

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/07/10 at 02:17:55
hahahahahahahaha
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 05/07/10 at 20:23:34
Kovu wasn't Scar's cub. He was a chosen by Scar as an apprentice right before he was killed.

And when did it ever say that Sarafina is related to either of them in any way at all?

Whoever made that comic sucks at trolling. Or they're just a retard.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/08/10 at 03:58:42
Calm down Walt.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/08/10 at 06:31:32
how old are you, Linda? not trying to be a dick, just wondering why you know so much about the Lion King.. it was still funny either way, cause anything that makes Disney look fucked is a-ok by me.... fucking douchebags
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 05/08/10 at 14:20:17

The Dizaster Child wrote on 05/08/10 at 06:31:32:
how old are you, Linda? not trying to be a dick, just wondering why you know so much about the Lion King.. it was still funny either way, cause anything that makes Disney look fucked is a-ok by me.... fucking douchebags


Well 'fucking' excuse me if I occasionally watch Family films.

Lion King is a classic, and I watched the sequel out of curiosity (it wasn't too bad). Also, it just took a little research to debunk that comic's retarded assumptions.

What, I can only "watch MATURE FILMS FOR MATURE PEOPLE SUCH AS MYSELF?"

I don't mean to be so defensive, Dizaster, but I'm just saying what's wrong with me liking a Family film?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/08/10 at 16:33:23
no need to be so defensive. I wasn't insulting you at all, its just odd to see a grown adult watch Disney movies. that and my documented hatred for Disney doesn't help..
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 05/08/10 at 17:31:42
Yeah, you mofos need to get the fuck off the Lion King. Lion King is classic. And don't even THINK about saying anything about Aladdin.

Besides, the Lion King is clearly made for adults as evident in this clip from the movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LrKC8ymcyY
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 05/08/10 at 17:32:12
lmao Xizor.


The Dizaster Child wrote on 05/08/10 at 16:33:23:
its just odd to see a grown adult watch Disney movies.

No it isn't. It's not that uncommon. After all, it's a classic that I watched as a child. So what's the problem? Also, their theatrical animated films tend to be fantastic.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by NapalmSanctuary on 05/08/10 at 20:51:06

LindaP wrote on 05/08/10 at 14:20:17:
Well 'fucking' excuse me if I occasionally watch Family films.

Lion King is a classic, and I watched the sequel out of curiosity (it wasn't too bad). Also, it just took a little research to debunk that comic's retarded assumptions.

What, I can only "watch MATURE FILMS FOR MATURE PEOPLE SUCH AS MYSELF?"

I don't mean to be so defensive, Dizaster, but I'm just saying what's wrong with me liking a Family film?

shrek, madagascar, and flushed away are fuckin hilarious.

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 05/09/10 at 06:17:15

NapalmSanctuary wrote on 05/08/10 at 20:51:06:
shrek, madagascar, and flushed away are fuckin hilarious.

I never watched Flushed Away, but Shrek and Madagascar were great.

And Pixar has been on a streak with great films in my book.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by NapalmSanctuary on 05/09/10 at 07:28:06

LindaP wrote on 05/09/10 at 06:17:15:
I never watched Flushed Away, but Shrek and Madagascar were great.

And Pixar has been on a streak with great films in my book.

rent it, you'll  dig it. i dig the pixar films ive seen for the most part, though i haven't seen one since little nemo.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 05/09/10 at 15:38:53

NapalmSanctuary wrote on 05/09/10 at 07:28:06:
rent it, you'll  dig it. i dig the pixar films ive seen for the most part, though i haven't seen one since little nemo.


Catch up on them, everything they've made after that is great.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/09/10 at 20:06:57

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by NapalmSanctuary on 05/11/10 at 04:48:11

LindaP wrote on 05/09/10 at 15:38:53:
Catch up on them, everything they've made after that is great.

i gotta get some weed first, but i prolly will
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/11/10 at 06:02:53
Ugh... weed this, weed that. Seriously, if you have to smoke a joint to watch a Pixar movie, then you have failed at life. So you smoke pot. Kewl dawg! You're the envy of 13 and 14 year olds.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by NapalmSanctuary on 05/11/10 at 10:07:56
lol, is that your professional opinion?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 05/11/10 at 16:32:51
I wouldn't have put it like that but I agree with Obliverate. Their films (and good films in general) don't need weed or anything like that to be enjoyable. Just watch the damn movie.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 05/11/10 at 19:29:43
I would probably need some weed to sit through any recent Disney/Pixar honestly. As much as I respect Disney/Pixar and love the movies I grew up with they do nothing for me these days. I'm just too old to enjoy that type of entertainment. The Nightmare Before Christmas is the only movie I can still watch to this day but even that has been tainted by the Hot Topic wanna be goth crowd that found the movie 10 years later and tried to make it "cool".

And how DARE you speak ill of smoking weed Obliterfake. Just because you can't smoke it because you still live at home with your parents doesn't mean can make fun of us responsible adults who partake.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/12/10 at 01:15:24
I've smoked weed once or twice. Don't understand the thrill. And yes. I do live with my parents. Hell, I'm still in High School.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 05/12/10 at 02:59:13
Then you either got some shitty weed, or you didn't smoke it and play a kick ass video game or watch an awesome movie while high. Really the only time I'll fire up my pipe these days is if I buy a kick ass blu ray like Avatar or get a new game that I know will be cool as fuck to play and will have a world I can get lost in while I'm high. Red Dead Redemption is looking to be such an experience.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/12/10 at 03:52:55



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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/12/10 at 05:25:39
lol

I know Disney owns Pixar, but I think they're on 2 different levels.. and Pixar is on the one I like. I will retract what I said earlier, cause I completely forgot that one of my favorite movie sagas is owned by Disney... Pirates of the Caribbean. fuck you Disney

I dont understand the weed thing either. I smoked out a few times, but never once got high. I dunno if I'm immune or what, but it didnt do shit for me. it got to the point where my buddies were paying me to do it with them so they didnt have to smoke alone... whatever thats about. I guess I just like to take things for what they are, not a distorted version of it
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/14/10 at 01:12:04

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/14/10 at 01:14:41
thats yuck town
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by NapalmSanctuary on 05/14/10 at 12:02:54
cant believe you guys never got high, prolly smokin dirt weed or somethin. maybe you got high but couldnt tell cuz you were expecting it to be like alcohol. weed is not a serious mind alteration, more like sprinkling kosher salt on a piece of meat, just brings out the flavor of whats already there.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/14/10 at 21:01:58
I didnt feel a single thing different. I dont know what good 'quality' weed is, but I do know we jacked it from my guitar player's dad's stash, who was a business hippie, if you will lol. the first time I did it was to celebrate my bass player getting off probation (isnt that what they all do anyway?), and he demanded I try it for the first time.. I finally said fuck it.. and him being a weed connoisseur, I trust him when he says what good weed is.. and he said it was good shit. good enough to steal from a guy big enough to snap all 3 of us in half, if that says anything
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 05/15/10 at 19:01:47
There are people out there that it has no effect on. My wife is one of them. She tried many times and it didn't do anything. I also had a friend a long time ago who was like that also.

Real fucking shame.  :(
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/15/10 at 21:43:07
meh, it doesnt bother me any. it just means that random drug testing at work doesnt scare me ;)  and really, I get a sense of gratification when someone assumes I smoke, and when they find out I dont do any drugs whatsoever, I get the  :o look.. makes me laugh every time
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 05/15/10 at 22:48:49
So THAT'S why you suck so much ass. Finally. It all makes sense.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DoktorStrychnine on 05/16/10 at 08:08:01

The Dizaster Child wrote on 05/15/10 at 21:43:07:
meh, it doesnt bother me any. it just means that random drug testing at work doesnt scare me ;)  and really, I get a sense of gratification when someone assumes I smoke, and when they find out I dont do any drugs whatsoever, I get the  :o look.. makes me laugh every time

So... you're saying that people think you look like some kinds coke-snorting-grass-taking-charge-huffing-crank-jacking-druggie... but you're not. I see.
I prefer it the other way around.

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 05/16/10 at 08:26:27
He looks like every member of KoRn all rolled into one. He even has the KoRn tattoo to match.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/16/10 at 14:25:43
hold on now, I dont look like the beaner
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 05/16/10 at 14:42:06

DoktorStrychnine wrote on 05/16/10 at 08:08:01:
So... you're saying that people think you look like some kinds coke-snorting-grass-taking-charge-huffing-crank-jacking-druggie... but you're not. I see.
I prefer it the other way around.


lmao when can you find someone who can hide ALL those habits so well? :D
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/20/10 at 04:40:26

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/20/10 at 05:43:19
HA!! take that, Tim Burton
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 05/20/10 at 17:43:02

The Dizaster Child wrote on 05/20/10 at 05:43:19:
HA!! take that, Lewis Carroll


Fix'd
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/21/10 at 00:18:40
Linda, you are obviously retarded.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 05/21/10 at 00:55:29

wrote on 05/21/10 at 00:18:40:
Linda, you are obviously retarded.

And Dizaster isn't? That fan art was obviously made years before Tim Burton's sequel. Or, if it wasn't, it's not a parody towards that film, rather the previous film.

Or would you rather I have said Clyde Geronimi/Wilfred Jackson/Hamilton Luske?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/21/10 at 01:17:06
I brought that specific picture up because of the recent Tim Burton flick. So NRG's first instinct was the most recent Alice, so Timmy was the main man my maleviolent mistress.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/21/10 at 01:29:25
checkmate.. mate

given the outright weirdness of Burton's version, I think my statement held water regardless.. so I'm NOT retarded, thank you very much. quit trying to be the person who knows everything about everything
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 05/21/10 at 02:09:32
Oh but I am? Like I don't have a point there at all?


wrote on 05/21/10 at 01:17:06:
I brought that specific picture up because of the recent Tim Burton flick. So NRG's first instinct was the most recent Alice, so Timmy was the main man my maleviolent mistress.

That doesn't make it accurate.

That's like showing a parody of the old Spider-Man cartoon and have someone say "Take that, Sam Raimi!" when it has nothing to do with his work.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/21/10 at 03:18:57
No, it is not the same. If it was Spider-Man doing something COOL, then it would be the same.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 05/21/10 at 04:07:18

wrote on 05/21/10 at 03:18:57:
No, it is not the same. If it was Spider-Man doing something COOL, then it would be the same.

lol then why would someone tell Raimi to "take that" when it's something cool?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/21/10 at 04:53:53
You thought Spiderman 1, 2 and 3 were cool?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 05/21/10 at 13:15:08
I want a nice clean fight. Use soap and water.

No low blows unless you swallow. FIGHT!!!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 05/21/10 at 14:20:10

wrote on 05/21/10 at 04:53:53:
You thought Spiderman 1, 2 and 3 were cool?

1 & 2, yes.

3? Not as much but I didn't hate it as much as everyone else.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 06/04/10 at 03:15:20


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Psycho Se7eN on 06/04/10 at 04:53:21

LindaP wrote on 05/21/10 at 14:20:10:
1 & 2, yes.

3? Not as much but I didn't hate it as much as everyone else.



1 was good.

2 was ok but barely.

3 was disgraceful
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 06/04/10 at 05:17:33

wrote on 06/04/10 at 04:53:21:
1 was good.

2 was ok but barely.

3 was disgraceful


that was my opinion, really. supposedly, the next one is gonna have Carnage
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 06/04/10 at 13:33:36
Makes me wonder how much that lady paid to get that half horse manniquin, just to shove her arm up it's ass.

All she has to do is sneak into a farm. Jeezzzz.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 06/04/10 at 15:03:26

The Dizaster Child wrote on 06/04/10 at 05:17:33:
that was my opinion, really. supposedly, the next one is gonna have Carnage


Spider-Man 4 was scrapped. Besides, without Venom, there can't be a Carnage. And besides THAT, if Raimi were to do a 4th film, no 'fucking' way would he put Carnage in there. He already hates society enough when they forced him to shove Venom into SM3 (he hates Spidey clones). The next film is a reboot and is only suppose to have Venom as the main villain (not some asshole who only lives for a half-hour). And rumors are going about that the Venom movie is going to have Carnage as the main villain. But I think that shit is vaporware.

That's still a downer thinking about it. His original idea for the Spider-Man 3 plot sounded awesome. Of course, it'll never be since Raimi is done with Spidey films for good.

And, in case you guys are wondering, yes. Raimi made Venom a pathetic piece of shit on purpose. No way would someone make him lack a nickname (never referred to as Venom), lack his signature tongue, AND have him say I instead of We when he's implying himself by MISTAKE. No way, he wanted people to dislike him.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 06/04/10 at 15:14:32

Magnum wrote on 06/04/10 at 13:33:36:
Makes me wonder how much that lady paid to get that half horse manniquin, just to shove her arm up it's ass.

All she has to do is sneak into a farm. Jeezzzz.

Did you notice the Wii logo on the screen?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 06/05/10 at 03:28:32

LindaP wrote on 06/04/10 at 15:03:26:
Spider-Man 4 was scrapped. Besides, without Venom, there can't be a Carnage. And besides THAT, if Raimi were to do a 4th film, no 'fucking' way would he put Carnage in there. He already hates society enough when they forced him to shove Venom into SM3 (he hates Spidey clones). The next film is a reboot and is only suppose to have Venom as the main villain (not some asshole who only lives for a half-hour). And rumors are going about that the Venom movie is going to have Carnage as the main villain. But I think that shit is vaporware.

That's still a downer thinking about it. His original idea for the Spider-Man 3 plot sounded awesome. Of course, it'll never be since Raimi is done with Spidey films for good.

And, in case you guys are wondering, yes. Raimi made Venom a pathetic piece of shit on purpose. No way would someone make him lack a nickname (never referred to as Venom), lack his signature tongue, AND have him say I instead of We when he's implying himself by MISTAKE. No way, he wanted people to dislike him.


that bit about Carnage was just something someone told me. honestly, I havent been keeping up with the Spider-Man movie news after the last one. if it was Raimi's goal to put out a POS Venom, then mission accomplished. you seem to know about the details here, so why did he do it? he was being forced to water his shit down or something?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Psycho Se7eN on 06/05/10 at 16:33:43

LindaP wrote on 06/04/10 at 15:03:26:
Spider-Man 4 was scrapped. Besides, without Venom, there can't be a Carnage. And besides THAT, if Raimi were to do a 4th film, no 'fucking' way would he put Carnage in there. He already hates society enough when they forced him to shove Venom into SM3 (he hates Spidey clones). The next film is a reboot and is only suppose to have Venom as the main villain (not some asshole who only lives for a half-hour). And rumors are going about that the Venom movie is going to have Carnage as the main villain. But I think that shit is vaporware.

That's still a downer thinking about it. His original idea for the Spider-Man 3 plot sounded awesome. Of course, it'll never be since Raimi is done with Spidey films for good.

And, in case you guys are wondering, yes. Raimi made Venom a pathetic piece of shit on purpose. No way would someone make him lack a nickname (never referred to as Venom), lack his signature tongue, AND have him say I instead of We when he's implying himself by MISTAKE. No way, he wanted people to dislike him.



Venom was pathetic.

The Venom actor was pathetic

They killed Venom. Why?



You DO know there is a spidey movie reboot right?


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Toasty on 06/06/10 at 07:34:45
3 Just shouldn't have focused on three villains at once, was another mistake. And how they executed Green Goblin II was just a mistake in itself. Because, in the comics, Harry had donned the suit already and pretty much followed most in his father's footsteps and everything. And they've made him out to be like he's the next generation paintball player with deadly weapons along with a glider.

I will say, Venom and Carnage, should be the only spidey-clones out there. It was retarded at one point during the comics back then, they had multiple symbiotes running around. Now there's a new one by the name of Toxin. As well as old Scorpion taking over the Venom mantle, while the original Venom host is now Anti-Venom (last I checked, anyways.). Which, Anti-Venom is kindof cool, because he resembles Carnage in appearance, but other than that, cool I guess.

Yeah, the reboot is really just re-hashing the first few. I don't think it'll compare with the first two movies of the originals. But, like I do with some movies nowadays, just wait for rental and don't waste for cinemas.

Other than all of that, we'll wait and see. And if the new reboots bomb, they'll bomb.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 06/10/10 at 03:01:12


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 06/13/10 at 11:14:42

The Dizaster Child wrote on 06/05/10 at 03:28:32:
that bit about Carnage was just something someone told me. honestly, I havent been keeping up with the Spider-Man movie news after the last one. if it was Raimi's goal to put out a POS Venom, then mission accomplished. you seem to know about the details here, so why did he do it? he was being forced to water his shit down or something?


Popular demand. Everybody wanted Venom to finally appear, including me to be honest. So Sony basically took the script he was working on, lit it on fire in front of his face, and gave him a list of shit that HAS to be in the film. Venom was, of course, included in that list. Raimi obviously wasn't too happy. Therefore, SM3 was considered his worst film and it was most likely because he didn't want to do the film in the first place.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 06/13/10 at 22:56:42
and I completely understand where he's coming from. thats why the ppl not responsible for the creative outcome of the movie shouldnt be allowed to have a say-so in anything. just pony up the cash for the production and shit the fuck up
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by LindaP on 06/14/10 at 22:15:10

The Dizaster Child wrote on 06/13/10 at 22:56:42:
and I completely understand where he's coming from. thats why the ppl not responsible for the creative outcome of the movie shouldnt be allowed to have a say-so in anything. just pony up the cash for the production and shit the fuck up


Sony probably went with it either way because they knew it would do well in theaters. Because, you know, it was a Spider-Man film.

Shitty film, good film, they knew it would sell immensely in theaters.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 06/15/10 at 02:40:14
well yea, cause most ppl dont care. they just wanna say they saw it and have something to brag about to their friends. unfortunately, they have to lame-down alot of potentially good movies cause while its easy enough to make them, the masses just wont get it - only a small few would be able to appreciate it
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Cr8zy Eight on 06/18/10 at 10:06:51

XIZOR wrote on 10/01/09 at 08:48:41:
Oh goodie. Noob bashing is so much fun. Especially two-dimensional posters that have nothing to say and have no originality. It just means I have to be more interesting since there is nothing about you that stands out. The normal shithead bashing simply wont do here. I guess Ill start by showing you some true writing skills. I’m just gonna whip this up fast so it wont be my best work, but it should be far beyond your pathetic attempts at fanfics or that little short story you posted about your father beating your mother and her stabbing him or whatever it was. I’ve got to get back to ODST after all.

[i]Xizor awoke to the sound of his phone ringing loudly; looking right and left and noticing the still sleeping hot babes on either side of him, he couldn’t quite reach the phone. Two hotties, he thought to himself; must have been a wild night last night. Or maybe it was just Tuesday again. Sitting up on the bed he brought his hand up and slapped the still naked brunette to his left across the face. “Bitch, hand me that fucking phone. What are you deaf? You don’t hear my phone ringing in your fucking ears?” Rubbing her now reddened face the attractive young girl handed Xizor his phone just in time for him to answer. She looked irritated to be struck like some ho being slapped by her pimp for not paying up on time, but she knew better than to talk back to the amazing Xizor. If she was lucky she might get invited back to his Italian Mansion again in the future to get fucked a second time.

“What,” he answered somewhat angrily, not appreciating in the slightest being awoken from his drunken slumber as he grabbed the brunette by the hair and shoved her head in his crotch. She started sucking as Magnum spoke.

“Xizor, its Magnum. We have a problem. There is this new shitty poster named Ghastly. He fucking keeps posting these god awful fanfics and replies. TMA is gonna need you to take care of this mess before it gets out of control. And do I hear a girl sucking your dick?”

“Of course a girl is sucking my dick. Why wouldn’t a girl be sucking my dick? And did you say his name is Ghastly? The name alone is worth killing him over. Just upload his information to my account and Ill take care of him.” Xizor waited patiently as Magnum uploaded the files and then he opened the links to Ghastly’s posts and quickly skimmed over them, appalled at how terrible they were. “Damn Mags, this is fucking awful. I’ll take care of this shithead free of charge. I can’t allow TMA to be tainted by losers like this. This guy is worse than PureNRG except he doesn’t blab on about cars.”

“I agree, this guy makes PureNRG seem cool and hip. Just watch your ass….and your cock. This guy is known to try to suck and fuck both,” said Magnum relieved to hear the worst poster in TMA history was about to be dealt with free of charge by Xizor, the most bad ass fighter, multiple girl fucker, and poster of all time.

“Don’t worry, I’m used to people trying to suck my cock. Isn’t that right sweetie,” Xizor said as a faint muffled uh huh could be heard in the background over the sound of wet saliva filled slurping and sucking. “Just let me bust this nut and Ill get right on killing Ghastly.”

An hour later Xizor’s stealth combat fighter was on auto-pilot circling in a random juke and jink pattern over the drop zone of the last known location of Ghastly; his newly acquired target and enemy of the Twisted Metal Alliance community. He was in the back weapons compartment putting the final pieces of his armored suit together, checking and cleaning his weapons before meditating briefly; the calm before the storm he always called it. After centering his Chi flow and bringing his mindset into what could only be referred to as “kill mode”, he took one last glance at the data on his target before settling into his drop pod. Satisfied that everything was in place for the mission he pulled the “release” lever and was instantly jerked forward in his harness as the one-man orbital pod jettisoned from the bottom of the stealth craft. Xizor closed his eyes and took a lasting deep breath; he knew this would be the last relaxing moments before undertaking the easy, yet serious assassin mission ahead.

Turbulence hit the small craft hard and the updraft from the windy weather below slung the craft back and forth in and endless erratic dance in the sky. His metal armored shoulder pads slamming left, right, left, left, right, left, right, right into the sides of the seat in an offbeat rhythmic pattern that soothed his soul. Xizor hit the thruster pads just as the pods tradgectory failsafe systems kicked into overdrive to try and maintain the proper course he’d laid out earlier. He planned on going in hot and basically crash landing right on top of the projected target’s hideout.

Ten thousands meters till impact. Nine Thousand, eight thousand, seven thousand, he checked the ammo count on his weapons one last time as he cocked back the levers; briefly he touched the handle of the blade strung across his back. Four thousand, three thousand, this was it, all or nothing. One thousand, he braced for impact as the small shuttle pod slammed through the roof of Ghastly’s shanty town-esq domain, crashing down in the center of a large room that appeared to be the center of a massive orgy of all-male humans and animals. Goats, chickens, donkeys, sloths – yes I fucking said sloths – ran in every direction possible to get away from the fallen meteorite of doom that had just come crashing down from the heavens into the mist of this gay human slash animal orgy he had fallen into.  Most of the naked male humans sat in awe at what had just transpired, to afraid to make a move in any way in fear they would be trampled by the massive ass rape zoo stampede that was running rampant throughout the establishment. Obviously, Xizor had just upset the perfectly maintained balance of a delicate unnatural multi-species homo-erotic fuckfest that had been going on long before he came crashing through the ceiling like the ever amazing dinosaur killing comet that supposedly struck earth all those years ago; taking with it an entire established pecking order of a simple yet lavish prehistoric food chain.

As the dust settled on what could only be described as “the gayest thing to ever happened on the planet earth” the front panel of Xizor’s pod blew off across the room loudly slaying a random goat instantly in a quick audible mesh of metal and wet bloody flesh sounds. The bad ass stepped out of the pod and spoke with a death defying voice that was projected by the external speakers of his enhanced suit of armor and said simply, “where is Ghastly.”

A pale skinny, nerdy looking fuck who was covered in a makeshift gay vest of various animal skins pulled his dick out of a chicken and proclaimed with unexpected confidence, “I am Ghastly. And how dare you interrupt my gay man and animal orgy. Who dares break down the headway of thy humble abode,” the man asked fully erect as he gently fondled the scrotum of a nearby donkey.

With one simple all encompassing line that summed up the full extent of such an outlandish aerial assault Xizor simply said, “I did you gay ass shitty fanfic posting son of a bitch”. He said this as he lit up a cigar…which made absolutely no sense considering he couldn’t smoke this Cuban beauty with his high tech headgear on. So instead he threw the cigar off to the side and put away his custom made gold plated Zippo lighter in a secret chest plate compartment normally reserved for ammo. Xizor was just that bad ass that he could do something like that and it wouldn’t fucking matter. James Bond couldn’t have pulled such a smooth move off even if he’d been jacked up on Extasy and Cocaine.

Xizor quickly removed the large sword from the sheath on his back and pointed the shiny blade directly at Ghastly. “I will end you boy, but first Ill take away your weapons….both of them. First, the small one….the one that you had in that chicken….that is still erect as you gaze into my eyes….” As awkward as this was Xizor didn’t dare move his visor an inch, keeping completely calm and controlled as he confronted what was apparently just a young sexually confused adolescent male with a lot of money and a love for writing fictitious Twisted Metal fan love poems. This guy was nothing to fret or lose sleep over, but he had to be dealt with all the same; put out of his own misery and that of every respectable poster within the Alliance community.



I was lol'ing the whole time that I was reading this
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by notsoyellowjacket on 07/03/10 at 05:03:25
Wait, I raff I ruse? Danm it! I thought I giraffe I ruse... ;D
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 07/03/10 at 15:57:40
You have to remember. That was one of the most epic replys in TMA history. Esspecially since I was starring in it too.

I swear I wish the CC Wall from the old TMA could be revived. There were so many great comedy fics from Dim, me, Moopster, and X-Man. OMFG the gut busting shit we all wrote.



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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 07/03/10 at 16:18:01
I'm only doing this because it's the only story I saved. I wish I saved the other 3 I wrote. This isn't my best story but....it'll have to do to give you people who don't know, an idea of how CC Wall was.

Scene starts out looking at an old dilapidated house. When camera closes in, it goes through the front window in the living room, with 2 men sitting on the couch. Both men look inebriated or drugged.

Magnum- Dude…I need beer. I drank my 30 pack in one fucking day. Man I’m sick of just sitting around waiting for the New TMA.

Xizor—Yea. I know what your saying. Maybe we can see if we can drive to Mort’s house and bug him about getting that shit done already. He’s been taking to fucking long. I need you to start giving me more belts dammit.

Magnum--Ehhhhh…dude. I think Mort lives over the ocean or something.

Xizor-- Well fuck it then! We’ll just have to pirate a boat!

Magnum-- :::::: air guitar riff::::::: SWEET!!! Lets call up NRG and see if he can at least drive us closer to what ever ocean it is.  :::::::picks up phone:::::::

:::::phone answers:::: YEA?!?! WTF IS UP?!?!

Magnum—Hey NRG. We need your ride man. We got to go see Mort about a problem.

NRG—Yo man. I have a car, not a boat. I can’t get to New Zealand.

Xizor whispers— maybe we can float his Ex- GF. She was pretty tubby.

:::::::Magnum covers phone:::::: STFU man! I’m trying to at least get us halfway there.

:::Bon Jovi busts through the wall::::: Hi Guys! I heard you call for me. Can I help?

NRG—Who said I was tubby?

Xizor—Can you hook me up with some serious hotties?

Jovi—No, but I can get you to New Zealand 1st class!

Xizor—Nahhhh…fuck that man. We need pussy. Get out you bitch. Maybe I should make you pay for my fucking wall you burst through.

Jovi—Fine with me. Can’t shop for love shopping at Sears.

Magnum—Are you fucking nuts? We could’ve FLOWN there instead of riding in NRG’s 1st class hooptie!!

NRG—Who’s saying I got a hooptie? Ya’ll be riding in the fucking trunk.

Magnum—No no no. Xizor was saying he needed to go poopy. Just come and get us dammit.

NRG—Allright man. Be there in 60 seconds.

::::::::Nick Cage busts trough wall:::::::: I can do it faster!

Xizor—That’s 2 assholes in the span of 2 pages that busted up my house! WTF is this fucking bullshit man?!?! I should kick your fucking ass!

Cage—Ok…..but you’ll regret it. ::::::leaves out hole he burst through:::::::

Magnum—Damn dude. We better watch out saying certain stuff. Seems like this author doesn’t respect your house much.

Xizor – Fuck him man. I’ll just make sure he gets attacked by Pterodactyls next time he goes to the Smithsonian.

:::::Magnum raises an eyebrow in confusion::::::

Xizor— NM……I think I hear NRG now.

::::::car that sounds like a lawnmower pulls up to house::::::

NRG—Got here as quick as I could! You see me go the ¼ in like 9 seconds!?!?!

Xizor—Who fucking cares man? Just take us out to California somewheres. I think we can pirate a boat from there.

NRG—Your gonna pirate a boat?!? Hell yea!! I wanna come too!

Magnum—so long as you do it by yourself and use a towel.

NRG—ROAD TRIP!!!! ::::::::hammers gas::::::::

12 hours later…….

Xizor—Holy fucking shit man. How fucking far away is California anyway?? This freaking roller skate on wheels is killing my back. Don’t you have a suspension on this thing?

NRG—it’s lowered for aerodynamics. You just gotta deal.

Magnum—Hey fuck you Xizor. Why don’t you ride back here with no fucking seat and roll cages and see how you feel.

Xizor—You lost rock paper scissors.  It’s not my fault you lost to hunting knife.

Magnum—next time I’m bringing my gun and shoot you in the fucking balls.

NRG—hey…were somewhere in Texas. You think we can just find a place to chill for the night before we go any further?

Magnum—I think so. It’s getting kinda deep in here since we haven’t gone to the bathroom at all. I think I left all 30 beers in your trunk.

NRG—FUCK!!! I was wondering where that extra weight came from!! I’m to fucking tight! No forward grip!

Xizor—Why don’t you get a fucking grip and pull into here. This looks like a quality establishment.

Magnum—How do you figure?

Xizor—There’s some dude who looks like a serial killer at the door. That’s my kinda place.

Magnum—Shit. Doesn’t look like a titty bar. Fuck……

NRG—Dude looks scary. I dunno about this.

Hellbent- COME ON INTO MY BAR!!! IF YOU DON’T I’LL FUCKING STAB YOU IN THE SPLEEN!!!

Magnum—Hey….works like a charm!

Hellbent— No Door charge but I have to ask if you have any weapons.

:::::Xizor starts to unzip his pants:::::::

Hellbent- I swear if you pull that out, I’ll cut it off.

Xizor—Heh….you couldn’t axe it off motherfucker.

Hellbent—You gonna buy beer of what? If not GTFO my face.

Magnum—What kind of doorman are you? I can’t believe you even do any business talking that way.

Hellbent—Yea well….when you have to clean up puke, and piss, and kick homeless crack heads around the block, see how warm and fucking fuzzy you are then.

Magnum—Where NRG go?

:::::::scene cuts to NRG at bar with 2 hotties::::: Idiots. Still outside talking to that doorman whentheres girls to be had. I’m strait out for Fast and Furious yo!!

:::::Vin Diesel busts through wall:::::: Hey……heard you wanna race?

::::::::NRG puts down beer:::::: You got it buddy

::::::::few hours later, Vin Diesel is sitting at bar with hotties::::: Then this kid tried to nitro me sooner than he should. Toatal noob.

::::::::Helbent comes out of nowhere and puts an axe through Vin Diesel’s head:::::::

FUCKING HIT THAT WALL FUCKING HARD DIDN’T YA?!?!

Continue????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

::::::::few hours later::::::::

Hellbent – Well, That takes care of the brains. I’m just glad I didn’t have to have an old school Texas shoot out with the police.

::::::::Clint Eastwood crashes through door:::::::::  You feelin lucky? PUNK?!?!

:::::::Hellbent magically has a rocket launcher in his hands RE Style::::::

IT’S THE LOTTERY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!

:::::::Clint rockets out the door and blows up across the street:::::::

Magnum—Wow Hellbent! Hell of a shot. How’d you do that?

Hellbent – Just pressed “Equip” I’m glad it went across the street blowing up the other bar. Less competing for alcohol.

::::Magnum starts pressing random points on his body::::: FUCK!!! IT’S NOT WORKING!!

Xizor—You have to be level class 5 Alpha. Your only 4 at the moment.

Magnum—Hey fuck you. I dunno where that pic of me passed out on the toilet came from. It shouldn’t be my fault my XP got lowered for it. I’m gonna kill the fuck who took it.

Xizor – ::::Xizor snickers a little:::::: Speaking of lowered XP…….

::::::::NRG comes through the door::::::::  I can’t believe it man.  I lost my ride. Now WTF we gonna do?

Hellbent – I know this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy that knew a guy, that knows some guy, that can probably get some guy, to get us a car.

Xizor—Well, we sure as fuck can’t stay here. Lets get this guy who knew a guy, who knows…….are you fucking kidding me? Are you really gonna make me say all that? Fuck this script…..and fuck you Magnum.

Magnum—Come on!! We’re wasting time!

NRG—Yea! It’s been a full 10 minutes since I touched a gas pedal. My ass is burning!

:::::::::after walking dozens of miles:::::::

Xizor—Where the fuck is this dude at? This is worse than the 12 hours of Hooptie.

NRG—If we get a car. Your gonna ride on the roof.

Xizor – Not if I play rock paper scissors again…..

Hellbent—Hey fuck you. I play smash your fucking head in with a tree trunk cause I got super biceps mode.

Magnum—Hey fuck you……..I got……super dirty underwear!

:::::everyone raises their eyebrows:::::::

Xizor—and he wonders why he rides in back…..

Helbent—Here we are!  :::::::House is a magnificent mansion with a really large manhole in front of it::::::

Magnum – I’d hate to see who shits here with a manhole that fucking big.

Hellbent – I heard this homeless guy lives down there. Really weird dude.

Xizor—You should know about large manholes Mag.

Magnum – Yea…..I do. That last time I rode your mom. ::::::dun dun chink sound comes outta nowhere:::::

::::::::Nightshade lands in front of everyone after jumping over stone gates::::::: WHO IS IT THAT DISTURBS MY MARS ATMOSPHERE?!?!

Hellbent – Cut the crap Nightshade. We need a car because we’re going to see Mort about the new TMA.

Nightshade—Well……how bout we talk this over in the mansion over some cake?

Magnum—Fuck yea! Cake!

NRG – I wanna look the car over. See how good it runs.

Nightshade – On pure Zilla juice. Just don’t press the red button on the dash.

NRG – Why?

Nightshade – CAUSE I’M THE FUCKING MODERATOR AND I SAID SO!!!! THAT’S WHY!!!

NRG – Ok…ok…jeez.

::::::a few hours later::::::

Xizor—That cake tasted like shit. I dunno WTF he put in it.

Magnum – I thought I smelled something similar passing the manhole.

Nightshade – Good luck to you on your journey! May the Shawartz be with you.

:::::::John Candy busts through the gate:::::: MY TAIL IS FUCKING GONE!!!

::::::Nightshade roars Godzilla fire out his mouth and fries him on the spot::::: That’s the 3rd time I’ve killed him this week. You’d figure he’d stay dead.

Xizor – Why is there a “Baby on board” sign in the back window? We’d better not be taking V-Wing……

Nightshade—Ohhh….it’s for the demon egg I have in the gas tank. Don’t worry about it. It’s not due to hatch………yet…….

Hellbent – Ok…beer, weed, atomic bomb, 2 Metroid helmets, and a plunger. We’re good to go.

Xizor – lets get it on!!!!

Continue???????

::::::::After another 12 hours in the car:::::
Xizor – Holy fucking shit! Are we there yet???


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 07/03/10 at 16:19:40
NRG – It’s not my damn fault this fucker only goes to 65. I wish I could’ve modded this before we left.

Magnum – Well…..Nightshade did give us 10,000 dollars for the trip.

Xizor – Yea. To bad we blew it on hookers and drugs.

Hellbent – It’s a good thing Mag has sexy legs. He’s been getting a lot of gas money that way.

Magnum – Yea baby. Chicks dig the ghost white legs.

Hellbent – It’s mainly been fat, sloppy truckers donating. Ohhhh….and a 500 pound paraplegic woman that wanted you to clean her ass crack with your tounge.

Magnum – Well……if it’s for charity……

:::::::NRG slams on the brakes. Everybody in the car goes flying because noone wore seat belts.::::::

NRG – We’re here! Check out these docks! We should try and grab a power boat! We’re gonna have to be careful. Until we’re 2 miles out, we’re gonna be in the danger zone. This Nuke is heavy……

:::::Kenny Loggins runs around corner::::::

TAKE YOU RIGHT INTO THE DANGER ZONE!! ::::::ZUSHUNN ZUSHUUN SHUNNN ZUSHUNN:::::

Magnum – Dude…..that’s so fucking cool.

Xizor – I ask myself……self……where the fuck is this story going…….and why do I put up with it?

::::::::As NRG is unloading the car, he accidentally hit’s the red button with the plunger handle. The car starts to smoke and shake violently::::::::

NRG – Uhhhhhhh shit! I hit that fucking button!!

Xizor – For Fucks sake man. All this way and you had to hit it now.  

::::::::Blair suddenly explodes out the car wearing a diaper and holding a dildo with a nipple on it::::::::

I SHALL TRAVEL WITH YOU TO MORTS!!!! I WILL HAVE TMA FOR ME!!!!!

Hellbent – I really hate this fucker writing this story. He really didn’t need to be in here. I hope I find him so I can donkey punch him continuously.

Magnum – I know right?!!? I mean…..seriously….WTF?!?!

Blair – I WANT DONKEY PUNCHED!!!

Xizor – Blair……Just give up Everyone hates you.

:::::::::Vanilla appears out of thin air. Next thing you know, she has multiple knives and swords at her disposal::::::::

NRG – Dude……that’s bad ass.

Vanilla – You ain’t seen nothing yet. :::::::she quickly dissects Blair into little pieces and puts him in a bucket::::::

Vanilla – There ya go boys! Fishing bait for your long trip to Morts!

Magnum—Sweet Nikki!!! Thanks!

Xizor – I can’t believe that was Nightshades egg. WTF is that about?  

::::::::Nightshades voice can be heard in the sky::::::
Only those worthy to kill the demon will be permitted to guard TMA land. I Honor Nikki for knighthood.

:::::::Nikki starts to disappear::::::  Sweet!! See you guys on the other side!!!

Xizor – This is horse shit. Why do we have to do the hard stuff?

Magnum – Well, if you didn’t tell Bon Jovi to fuck off…..we could’ve flown.

Xizor – Yea well…..fuck you cause he couldn’t deliver on the hotties. That’s just not Alpha to me.

NRG – Lets go!!! The boat is ready!

:::::::::12 days later:::::::

Xizor – Holy fuck man. How much fucking further?

Magnum – New Zealand is on the other side of the world. We should be there soon.

Xizor – Well, we should’ve started this fucking story on the other side of the world. No showers for 12 days with you fucks is killing me.

NRG – Where’s the adventure in that?

Xizor – The same kinda adventure when your GF couldn’t do the reverse seahorse properly. Fucking lame. Like this story.

Magnum – I see a shore line up ahead! I bet that’s it!

Hellbent – Good. I haven’t killed anything the last few pages.

:::::::::everyone disembarks onto the beach:::::::

Magnum – Man! This is nice! Maybe we should camp the night.

Hellbent – Fuck you and your coom-by-ya. I’m hitting the hills. See what I can find.

::::::::Helbent stalks off wearing Metroid helmet:::::::

Continue????????

:::::::At the break of dawn::::::

Magnum – Xizor! Xizor! Wake up! NRG is dead!

::::::Xizor groggily mumbles::::::  Magnum – Xizor! Come on man!!

Xizor – Man…..WTF? You know how fucking early it fucking is? Fuck!

Magnum – Dude! NRG is dead man! He has the plunger stuck on his face! He was suffocated!

Xizor – You sure it wasn’t handle 1st? He looked like he could choke that down.

Magnum – Now what are we gonna do?

Xizor-- I dunno but, I’m hungry. I’m goin to the Hairy’s Hamburgers on the other side of that tree.

Magnum – Huh? When the hell did that appear? That wasn’t there yesterday. Holy shit!

Xizor – It’s called progress. God your so stupid.

:::::::::inside Hairy’s::::::: Xizor – Yea…..I want a double pussy burger, no mayo, with some tittie fries and a large vagina gulp.

Magnum – I’ll take 2 jailbait jr’s and a large sweet puss-tea. Ohhhh…and a bag of Jailbait candies.

::::Hellbent walks in with Metroid helmet still on:::::::

Magnum – Hellbent. NRG is dead. You wanna order anything?

Hellbent – Nahhhh. I killed a few wild boars last night, and smoked some seriously good weed with the wild tribe on the other side of the mountain. I’m like a God to them now.

Xizor – I’m going there tonight then. We got two helmets.

Magnum – Uhhhhh….hello……Me?

Xizor-- You stay and watch the camp. No telling if that killer might come back. Besides….you get random drug tests anyway.

Magnum – I hate my job……

::::::::Later on in the night at the tribal village. Both Hellbent and Xizor have Metroid helmets on::::::::

Xizor – Hell yea man. This is some good weed. I just wish you told me they have helmets too. I can’t tell male from female.

Hellbent – Here comes the food. Just don’t take the helmet off.

Xizor—That’s gonna be hard but, ok. Did you take it off at all?

Hellbent – I didn’t try but, I got a feeling that if we do….we won’t like the consequences.

Xizor – So long as these simple fucks keep me fed and stoned, I’ll live in this bitch.

Hellbent – We can’t stay for to long either. We can’t push our luck with these people.

Xizor – Is there something your not telling me?

Hellbent – Of course there is. What kinda story would this be if I told you now?

::::::::::Magnum bursts through the bushes into the village center::::::::

Magnum – GUYS!!!! GUYS!!!! I BROKE MY CONCENTRATION!!!!! I KNOW WHERE  THE KILLER IS!!!

:::::::::all villagers turn to look at Magnum not wearing a helmet::::::
Magnum—It was one of them!!  And it’s your fault Xizor!!

Hellbent – This is not going to be pretty. It’s not one of them….it’s all of them….

:::::::all villagers take off their helmets simultainonously showing the cloned face of V-Wing:::::::

Clones sing – My God is an awesome God!!

Xizor – Ohhh Jesus Christ……Your fucking kidding me.

Hellbent – I told you they thought we were God. Now Magnum fucked that up.
GOOD JOB ASSHOLE!!!!

Magnum—Xizor told me to think about who killed NRG and he broke my concentration!!!!

Clones – YOU DON’T BELIVE!!! YOUR EVIL!!!

::::::::the clones start to attack our adventurers and a minute after the battle::::::

Xizor – I can’t belive that shit. I kicked one of them in the nuts and they all fell down. That was amazing.

Hellbent – Yea. It was funny when I punched the one next to me after that, all their noses started bleeding.

Magnum – I can’t get over when I kicked the one in the ass, my foot went halfway in.

Xizor – That’s because they gangbang each other every Sunday.

Hellbent – I should be mad that you fucked up our little haven but, they had the coordinates to get to Morts.

Magnum – How the hell could they have it?

Hellbent – Nightshade isn’t going to make this easy. It’s not like he’s going to want to see his site go down anytime soon.

Xizor – I want my belts back dammit. Lets get a move on.

To be continued……because Xizor fucked up….

After a few hours walk…….

Hellbent – Here we are. Morts house.
Xizor -- Are you serious? Man…I’m glad this traveling shit is over with. Lets get in there and get our TMA back!

Magnum – Yea! My Mod abilities don’t feel like they used to be. Ohhhh wait…..I didn’t really have a lot of them. MY BAD!!!

:::::Hellbent bursts through the door::::::::

Magnum—Ummm…..you could’ve knocked?

Hellbent – Hell no. Noone has destroyed anything the last few sentences. Mort will understand.

::::::our adventurers walk into the house and see a dark form hunched over multiple PC’s and server equipment. Slight mumbling can be heard::::::  “Tweak. Just one more tweak. That’s it……just one more. Wait…now one more…”

Xizor – Why that voice sounds familiar is weird. Didn’t he just die like a few pages ago?

Hellbent – We’re gonna find out. HEY MORT!!!! GET THIS FUCKER WORKING OR WE’RE GONNA BRAND “I’M A BUGGER!!!” ON YOUR ASS!!!

::::::::form in darkness turns around. He starts to walk at our heroes:::::::  Ohhhhhhh yes…..I have a program for you. It’ll be sweet to see you serving me at the new TMA!

Blair steps into the light.

Magnum – But….but…but…but…he’s like……dead and shit! Nikki sushi’ed you!

Xizor –You were pretty good fish bait. Smelled just like pussy.

Hellbent – I figured that wasn’t you. You had boy diapers on.  

Blair – It was my clone! Nightshade captured my Chlamydia, and trapped him in that egg!! He even destroyed my clone facility!!! He must pay like everyone else!

:::::::computers in back start to jump and shake violently. A face can be seen on one of the screens:::::::

Xizor– We need to kill you now. What’s really sad is we need to waste our time and energy reading this shit to find out what happens. So just step aside…and we won’t get hurt.

Magnum – Yea Blair. Take it like a pussy.

:::::::Hellbent and Xior raise their eyebrows:::::::  Magnum – What? I need to say something snappy too ya know!

::::::::Synthr busts through the wall with plunger:::::: HI!!! BILLY MAYS HERE!!!! I HAVE A GREAT NEW ASS CLEANER UPPER!!!! IT’S CALLED THE ASS PLUNGER!!!!


(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 07/03/10 at 16:20:51
::::::Blair screams::: NO!!! NOT THAT!!!!   :::::Synthr rushes over and shoves the stick end in Blairs ass::::::   Synthr – NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL GAY!!!! GET YOURS NOW!!!

:::::::Roadie busts through other wall::::::::  YES!!!! HORSEY RIDE!!!!!!
:::::::Roadie jumps on stick like a broom and grabs Blair by the back of the head:::::::
Roadie – YOU FUCKING LITTLE BITCH!!! YOU CAN’T GIDDY –UP!!!! YOU FUCKING LITTLE PUSSY!!!  

Synthr – ASS CLEANER NOW AT A DISCOUNT!!!!!! CALL NOW!!! :::::::as Roadie takes Blair around the house at laps of  4.3 seconds:::::::::

Xizor – Is this why you’ve been so quiet at TMA Synthr? You had to be in this lame fucking story just to even reply?

Synthr – Hell no. Who said I’d reply? :::::::walks out of house::::::

::::::::Roadie crashes Blair into the urinal and his head gets stuck::::::: Roadie – Awww shame that is. I like getting them like this but, he’s not even close to making me feel gay.
THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL STRAIT!!!!!!!!  ::::::::Kicks Blair in the nuts:::::::
Fucking little bitch…… ::::::walks out house::::::

Magnum – Did my eyes deceive me…….or did that just happen?

Xizor – What? Nina getting seagulled?  ::::::Scene cuts immediately to Nina on her knees, as multiple TMA’ers run up to her to smack her in the face with gouts of cum. Scene fades as Magnum talks again……::::::

Magnum – No no…..Roadie actually riding Blair!

Xizor – I was dreaming Nina getting seagulled, and I got 5 hits on her. I couldn’t watch that shit you faggot. That would’ve been like losing a level of Alpha.

Magnum—Uhhhhhh yea…….I dunno WTF happened there either. I didn’t see that. :::::::Scene cuts to Magnum getting blown by Nina with Roadie and his long blonde hair riding by with a sword, riding on a horse LOTR style like Legois:::::::  Uhhhhh….yea…..NM……

Hellbent – I saw that Magnum. That’s some sick shit.

:::::::Nightshade’s voice booms from out of no-where:::::: YOUR GOING OFF ON A TANGENT!!!!! WILL YOU PLEASE HURRY THE FUCK UP AND FINISH THIS GOD AWFUL STORY!!!!!!!

Magnum – Damn dude! He must really hate that guy huh?

Xizor – Yea. The fucking piece of shit hasn’t gotten me freaking laid yet.  

Hellbent – He’s right. We need to do this. No one puts Mort into a corner.

::::::::Patrick Swayze busts through the wall:::::: It’s time to not be nice.
:::::::Immediately starts to punch and roundhouse kick all computer equipment::::::
Hit em in the knees….they drop like a stone. :::::::waltzes out::::::

::::::::Mort jumps out of busted comps::::: OUI mates!!! Good right to get me out of that tussle! I was close to chunder!

::::::all 3 of our heroes shout:::::: MORT!!!!

Mort – oui. Bout ready to go bonkers being trapped in the Matrix. High time I give what this little ankle biter deserves. Hellbent, you got that nuke I asked from Nightshade?

::::Hellbent produces nuke instantly::::::: Yea……right here.

Mort – Good an righ! Lets take care o dis brown-eye! ::::::Walks over to Blair still stuck in urinal and pulls out plunger. Blair squeals in joy. Then he takes nuke and shoves it up Blairs ass:::::::  Thinking you were a bit o dag huh keeping me in there? Go full tit and put your laughing gear on dis mate!

:::::::our heroes scramble out of the building:::::: Magnum – Ohhh fuck!!! We gonna be able to get away in time!?!?!?!

Mort – Rattle your drags and git in dis fizz boat. Don’t worry about the togs and get in will ya!!!

Xizor – I dunno why……but him talking like that is making me want to get some shark and tatties.

Magnum – You mean…..titties right?

Xizor --- No mother fucker!!! Tatties!!!

Magnum – Uhhhh ok…..

::::::::as Mort detonates the nuke, he smiles and turns to our heros::::::  Thanks mates. Glad he was a piker and can now naff off. I was going mad as a meat axe I was, being trapped in there.

Xizor – So Mort……we gonna get belts now or what? It’s not like we read this entire shitty story for nothing.

Mort -- I have everything backed up. Nightshade is taking care of it. Now that I’m home and hosed, I might be going bush for a bit.

Xizor – Sooooooo…..where’s the belts??

Mort – I told you. You will get belts when TMA 2.0 is ready. It was Blairs fault I was trapped so you have to stop with the ear bashing.

Hellbent – Well. This sucked. I’m going to check out what’s going on at the other story.
:::::::::disappears instantly::::::

Xizor – Yea…this author sucks. I should’ve quit this script when I had the chance.

Mort – Well. Since I’m in here, I can accommodate you. I know your pretty randy so…..here’s to you going to root. :::::Mort claps hands and Xizor instantly disappears:::::::

Magnum – Uhhhhh….ok. What happened to him?

Mort – Well, Hellbent is doing as he pleases in the next story like he always does. Xizor has enough plonk and shiela’s to last till next story. It’ll be a sparrow fart before he can get through them all.

Magnum – So what about me?

Mort -- No need to be wobbly or be a sook. I got something make you feel good as gold!
:::::Magnum disappears instantly and lands in a porn shop::::::::

Mort – Right. Now it’s time to time to piss up!

::::::::AC/DC have a drink on me plays::::::::

TILL NEXT STORY!!!!!!!!

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 07/03/10 at 17:01:18
Damn it, you bastard, you sucked me in at *air guitar riff*.  I'm supposed to be fucking working, goddamn it.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by notsoyellowjacket on 07/04/10 at 03:54:02
I lol'd so hard at


"::::::::Blair suddenly explodes out the car wearing a diaper and holding a dildo with a nipple on it::::::::"

Two words for you: Comedy Genius
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 07/04/10 at 16:10:56
Why thanks fella's. Appriciate it. The title for it is called "Search For The New TMA"

Like I said, IMHO this isn't the best Comedy story I wrote. I wish I saved my other 2 on word perfect. I honestly belived I'd never lose it with them posted at TMA.

"What's this shortie?" and "The Struggle For TMA" I thought was by far way funnier.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by notsoyellowjacket on 07/05/10 at 01:24:31
I can only imagine what "What's this shortie?" is about... :D
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 07/05/10 at 14:40:57
I'm so glad I was in that story as my Halloween costume.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 07/05/10 at 16:50:46
As crazy as it sounds, that's the only story you were in Synthr. You were quiet for so long at the old TMA, I had nothing recent to go by. Except for the fact you made one small snide reply for this story, and Xizor complained Roadie wasn't in it.  

All my comedy stories were written by current TMA events. Hence why Xizor was cussing like crazy, V-Wing was cloned, Blair was banned from temp TMA, Hellbent just being Hellbent.

"What's this shortie?" was about the moderators at the time, trying to avoid V-Wing and not giving him belts. Also being a general pain in the ass complaining I was being a favorite, and only giving belts out to friends. Blair was just a random entity like this story you all just read. X-Man, Evil Ed, Dim Shades, Xizor, Hellbent, and me all starred in it. Mort, Moopster, Evil Adolph, Angelique, Venom and a few others I think had cameo's.

"The Struggle For TMA" was epic IMO. The same cast really, except Venom was also a lead player. That was when Blair just got back onto old TMA, and confined to his $500.00 post. Then having him posses V-Wings body to infiltrate beating all of us to get TMA to be his. That was fucking hilarious to me. That actually really pissed him off. It made me so happy it did.

Now that I'm reminising.....It's slowly comming back. I can't remember word for word of course but, I still have the overall plot, situations, and generalizations in tact, dispite my alcohol induced and ruined memory. These stories were nothing but random, sick fucking humor. It's also alot of subtle humor as well because alot of you newer people wouldn't "get it" because you weren't there at that time.

I dunno where the fuck I'd find the time to write them over again. Also just the motivation to do so.  

I also just remembered my other Comedy fic "TMA Presidental Musical Debate!" Me Dim Shades, V-Wing, and Blair on the debate stage singing charactor specific songs for answers that X-Man, Evil Ed, Mort, and Hellbent asked. IMO that wasn't to bad, but not good either. That was really tough.

   
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 07/05/10 at 17:02:52
God dammit. How fucking DARE you imply that I fucking cuss like a son of a bitch shit pushing shit dick sailor you fucking faggot wet back cunt nigger bastard ass bitch. Fuck you.

When you cum on your wife's back do you look her in the eyes and say who is the wet back now bitch!
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 07/05/10 at 17:09:14
Know what's hilarious? It's fucking wize ass, snide, bitch ass replies that make it into my fan fics.

Stop giving me ammo.......
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/17/10 at 19:04:36

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DoktorStrychnine on 07/17/10 at 22:32:53

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 07/28/10 at 19:34:15


Roadie showed me this so I had to post. Hilarious.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 07/28/10 at 20:29:49
Hahahaha, damn kids and their wild imaginations.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 07/28/10 at 20:46:30
She's lying.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Cr8zy Eight on 07/29/10 at 02:18:34
LOL the bully one is messed up but at the same time funny... what goes around comes around BITCH
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 07/29/10 at 13:22:02
Or in his case. What goes around cums in your anus.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 07/31/10 at 15:35:16
I like this phone.

http://cheezburger.com/View/3812660480

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by NapalmSanctuary on 08/01/10 at 05:11:21

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by deadRoden7 on 08/01/10 at 05:43:10

NapalmSanctuary wrote on 08/01/10 at 05:11:21:


Well i geuss you CAN give a dog a bone!!  ;D.......... :)......... :-/........ :'(
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 08/01/10 at 05:57:48
I dont even know why that was so funny LOL


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 08/01/10 at 14:51:52
Please tell me you know WTF that is right?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DeathStrikesBack on 08/01/10 at 15:49:46

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Jironobou on 08/03/10 at 08:05:50




CYBERDEMON

btw, I'm new...to the temp forum at least.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 08/21/10 at 15:54:24

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 08/21/10 at 16:34:19
funny how this topic is named Xizor is a Dick.....and he's got these AWESOME pictures to prove it!!!!
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 08/22/10 at 09:10:13

XIZOR wrote on 08/21/10 at 15:54:24:

OMFGLOLWTFLMFAO
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Serpentine on 08/23/10 at 02:31:04


Xizor, that'll learn ya to stop stealing apples, you asshole!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 08/23/10 at 02:44:49

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Gunslinger on 08/23/10 at 03:08:03
Inglourious Basterds! :O
LOL "I <3 twilight.... -choke her to death-"
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Serpentine on 08/23/10 at 03:10:43
Yeah well, unfortunately this isn't Nazi Germany, we can't choke bitches anytime we want every time they mention Twilight.
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 08/23/10 at 08:22:07
For some reason Sarah Palin looks really hot in this picture. I can't put my finger on why though.


(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 08/23/10 at 08:42:07

XIZOR wrote on 08/23/10 at 08:22:07:
For some reason Sarah Palin looks really hot in this picture. I can't put my finger on why though.

http://i566.photobucket.com/albums/ss109/X1ZOR/1281650740478.jpg



She's not speaking.
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Grimm Reaper on 08/23/10 at 09:23:48

[TMA]InnatelyGestaltist wrote on 08/23/10 at 08:42:07:
She's not speaking.


ROFL  ;D
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 08/23/10 at 12:55:31
Definately hot. That's how I would love to see her too. Need her zipper to go down lots further.  

LMAO @ Twilight!


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 08/31/10 at 07:08:20
How you fight a girl:

(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Gunslinger on 08/31/10 at 07:47:35
That..... is the best thing I've seen today.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 08/31/10 at 08:18:15
Yeah, he really 'gave her the finger'



Har har har.... that was horrible.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 08/31/10 at 13:57:20
Now that.......is fucking awesome.

I wonder if he sniffed his fingers afterward. That looks mighty tasty.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 09/01/10 at 03:57:46
daaaaamn, OLD skool ECW.. thats actually his wife in real life
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 09/10/10 at 01:52:17

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PRS-man on 09/10/10 at 04:06:52
TRICK SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 09/10/10 at 13:41:58
http://cheezburger.com/xenojaker/lolz/View/3911679488
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PRS-man on 09/10/10 at 23:30:18
Yogi Bogey
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Serpentine on 09/10/10 at 23:41:36

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 09/11/10 at 14:02:28
http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/dcf8ed14-1d56-4953-8495-8ef885d92bde.jpg
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 09/11/10 at 17:30:07
I can't get over that clenched fist.  
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 09/11/10 at 17:32:02
That's what she said. HOOOOOOOO!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 09/11/10 at 17:48:35

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Serpentine on 09/11/10 at 19:31:39


The Wizard of Oz needs some dark humor.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 09/11/10 at 21:01:58
someone give him Post of the Week.. that was awesome. and I thought American McGee had the dark humor of Oz covered
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 09/12/10 at 16:17:18
Partrick Stewart looks like the fucking Tank from L4D.

Hilarious.

Yummy Alice hearts!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PRS-man on 09/14/10 at 01:26:45

http://roflrazzi.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/tumblr_l8iq4e0lyu1qacqyoo1_500.jpg?w=321&h=700

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 09/17/10 at 13:24:15
I am not going to this college.  

http://cheezburger.com/View/3972816128
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PRS-man on 09/17/10 at 14:49:44
I wouldn't last one day there.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 09/18/10 at 01:50:29
thats fine with me, I dont do it in the shower anyway. it turns all stringy like I'm Spiderman or some shit like that.. annoying
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 09/18/10 at 02:57:49
Grammatical and spelling mistakes galore.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 10/10/10 at 06:46:58

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 10/10/10 at 09:47:13
http://pophangover.com/?p=6419
Bam.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 10/10/10 at 15:23:36
http://cheezburger.com/swampkitten/lolz/View/2942517760

http://cheezburger.com/View/4033125888
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 10/10/10 at 16:25:29

wrote on 10/10/10 at 09:47:13:
http://pophangover.com/?p=6419
Bam.


Its good to know that I've been following the employee handbook to the "T". No wonder I got promoted.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by InfernalDeath on 10/10/10 at 20:47:56
http://www.joystickdivision.com/2010/10/amazon_thinks_playstation_move.php
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 10/11/10 at 04:33:26

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/11/10 at 05:24:41



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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 10/16/10 at 17:14:59
http://failblog.org/2010/10/13/epic-fail-photos-privacy-fail-6/

http://failblog.org/2010/10/13/epic-fail-photos-juxtaposition-fail-2/

http://failblog.org/2010/10/13/epic-fail-photos-irony-fail-2/
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 10/16/10 at 19:28:58

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 10/18/10 at 02:52:52
I have a (very) annoying trojan that causes pop ups to appear at any site. Usually they take me to "Consumer Reports" where it tells me some housewife made $1,500 a week part time working from home. But this time, it was special. I was sculking around TMA when I got this:


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/18/10 at 04:06:16
Man, I once went into a bathroom like that at some hole in the wall pool hall in...shit, where the hell were we?  I don't know, Ohio or something.  

Anyway, we didn't make enough from the show to get a hotel room AND beer, so we opted for the beer; sleeping in our vans in a parking lot.  Eventually, we head over to shoot some pool and mack some scene sluts, and I end up having to take a shit.  The bathroom doesn't have a door on the hinges, and anyone in the pool hall can see directly into it.  Fucking retarded.  

I'd rather not go into detail as to how I was able to resolve this fecal urgency.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 10/18/10 at 05:32:24
ummm.. walk to the 7-11 down the street and use their bathroom?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/18/10 at 06:10:15
There was nothing.  The McDonald's wasn't even open, dude.  I was fucked.  And I couldn't walk much further with the shit practically inching its way out with every step.  
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 10/18/10 at 06:17:30
LMAO.. praire-doggin FTL
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 10/18/10 at 08:07:44
Last night someone took a shit on our bathroom floor at the Bar. Never caught him

Another guy took a piss next to the pool table. The police outside were keeping an eye on me for three hours. So when i brought the fucker outside and pointed him out the cops picked him up. Turns out he lost his ID while in the bar.

So not only does he get public indecent exposure. He also gets a PI and a Vandalizm charge.

Good. He kept trying to smile and be all happy and apologetic. Fuck him. I'm glad he's in jail right now.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by King Kill on 10/18/10 at 08:44:24
Did you personally clean it up and sanitize the place or did you make someone else do it?

Nobody likes a dirty bar, except bikers.


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/19/10 at 06:08:24
http://funkyimg.com/u2/750/157/avy.gif?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by magnum on 11/14/10 at 15:16:37
This post won't die. I just can't let it.

Not when I can get glasses like these.

http://failblog.org/2010/11/12/epic-fail-photos-things-that-are-doing-it-ad-fail-2/

And order a pizza from a place like this!

http://failblog.org/2010/11/11/epic-fail-photos-instructions-fail-4/

Xizor selling rubbers??????

http://failblog.org/2010/11/10/epic-fail-photos-condom-brand-win/

He has to if he's doing this....

http://poorlydressed.failblog.org/2010/11/02/fashion-fails-jedi-pimps-theyre-out-there/
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 11/14/10 at 16:37:12
That Jedi Pimp suit is boss.


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Serpentine on 11/14/10 at 21:17:41

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 11/15/10 at 02:23:08
Ed Edd and Eddy ftw
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 02/11/11 at 04:20:09



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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by V-Wing on 02/12/11 at 03:15:29



I GIVE UP. what the heck is it?? Or is it just a stupid trick that I've wasted time on...? haha
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 02/12/11 at 04:38:27
Look above the D and G.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DeathStrikesBack on 02/12/11 at 05:04:57

wrote on 02/12/11 at 04:38:27:
Look above the D and G.


Oddly enough that was the first thing I noticed, was the dis-colorization above there. It's not brick shitting worthy but if it fucks with people what the hey.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 02/12/11 at 07:18:13
I remember a while back, ppl were saying it was Willie Nelson's face
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by V-Wing on 02/12/11 at 08:12:34
Yeah I noticed that too... but I can't tell at all what it is.. haha

I was hoping one of you would know for sure, dangit. Me and a friend of mine were inverting colors hoping to bring something out even.. haha
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 02/12/11 at 15:04:32
It's a damn Predator. I can't belive you guys don't see that.

This pic was taken just before he turned his lazer on, and blew a hole in whoever took it.


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 02/14/11 at 10:22:24
Fucking faggots.  Everyone knows it's a cloaked Charizard fighting a Pigeoto who's using a Black Deck.  Jeez.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 02/14/11 at 12:31:52
No no no.....It's Jesus in his invisibility cloak.

2012 is heating up!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by V-Wing on 02/15/11 at 17:17:26
http://f380.mail.yahoo.com/ya/download?mid=1%5f331305%5fAHN8v9EAAC4JTVqciQa8FgeSBAo&pid=17&fid=Inbox&inline=1
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 02/16/11 at 13:24:49
fuhto phail
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by V-Wing on 02/16/11 at 16:03:46
I moved it.. woooops.


*attempt numbah TEWWW*


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Title: Im leaving TMA
Post by XIZOR on 08/01/09 at 00:38:10
I hate to leave but I just wanted to inform everyone that I have found a new community of nice people who share in my favorite past time/sexual fetish......shoulder riding. TMA just isnt satisfying my shoulder riding needs. Anyone down for some shoulder rides just follow me over to my new site found below. And dont worry I always wear protection. I dont want neck AIDS.

http://www.ultimateshoulderrides.com/
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Title: Re: Im leaving TMA
Post by NightShade on 08/01/09 at 01:07:59
Shame to see you go, but I can't blame you. I can't deny the appeal of shoulder riding. That is HOT.
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Title: Re: Im leaving TMA
Post by Roket on 08/01/09 at 03:26:07
No. Please Dont Leave. Ill Miss You Buddy.
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Title: Re: Im leaving TMA
Post by Kilrgrn on 08/01/09 at 03:30:23
I'll have sex with you, if you don't go.

Any position, you name it. My only condition is, you let me call you "Davzor".
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Title: Re: Im leaving TMA
Post by Pse7en on 08/01/09 at 03:53:14
Eh, good riddence. Fuck lard.


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Title: Re: Im leaving TMA
Post by XIZOR on 08/01/09 at 04:12:32

Kilrgrn wrote on 08/01/09 at 03:30:23:
I'll have sex with you, if you don't go.

Any position, you name it. My only condition is, you let me call you "Davzor".


...and Im back. Oh and its doggie style and you have to call me daddy, where pigtails, and a school girl outfit.
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Title: Re: Im leaving TMA
Post by GrindhouseCinema on 08/01/09 at 06:17:14
What in the hell were you looking for when this website came up? This doesn't seem like something that you just simply Google "Shoulder Rides" and come across....
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Title: Re: Im leaving TMA
Post by PureNRG on 08/01/09 at 08:28:43
probably something gay..

pigtails and the skool girl outfit is fucking hot :)
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Title: Re: Im leaving TMA
Post by XIZOR on 08/01/09 at 08:48:26
I was using the ol' goog to look up the correct way to perform the Oral Power Bomb when I came across the Ultimate Shoulder Rides site (which is basically a introduction to, or the equivalent of softcore PWA...essentially wrestling porn performed by the Porno Wrestling Association). The Oral Power Bomb, or OPB as its known in underground circles, is a move performed by the World Porno Wrestling league, or WPW. The maneuver is basically when a guy power bombs a girl but when he flips her up he eats her pussy for a few seconds before slamming her on the ground.
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Title: Re: Im leaving TMA
Post by magnum on 08/01/09 at 17:22:45

Kilrgrn wrote on 08/01/09 at 03:30:23:
I'll have sex with you, if you don't go.

Any position, you name it. My only condition is, you let me call you "Davzor".


LMFAO!!!

Hey!!!! Whoa whoa whoa!!!! What do I get if I threaten to leave? WTF is this?

GTFO Xizor. You just went with what we talked about last night you bastard. TMA CANNOT DIE!!!!   >:(

I will admit though this Shoulder Riding site seems quite HAWT. Seriously.......eat her pussy a little before you slam her to the floor?

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!



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Title: Re: Im leaving TMA
Post by PRS-man on 08/02/09 at 07:36:46
Before you go... HAVE A SANDWICH!
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Title: Re: Im leaving TMA
Post by PureNRG on 08/02/09 at 10:07:22

XIZOR wrote on 08/01/09 at 08:48:26:
I was using the ol' goog to look up the correct way to perform the Oral Power Bomb when I came across the Ultimate Shoulder Rides site (which is basically a introduction to, or the equivalent of softcore PWA...essentially wrestling porn performed by the Porno Wrestling Association). The Oral Power Bomb, or OPB as its known in underground circles, is a move performed by the World Porno Wrestling league, or WPW. The maneuver is basically when a guy power bombs a girl but when he flips her up he eats her pussy for a few seconds before slamming her on the ground.


ok, seriously.. is this legit?
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Title: Re: Im leaving TMA
Post by XIZOR on 08/02/09 at 16:56:57
Yeah....sure is.... I thought everyone knew about the WPW.
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Title: Re: Im leaving TMA
Post by PureNRG on 08/03/09 at 01:54:30
I dont find myself prowling the internet in search of the weirdest porn I can find.. not anymore, anyway. the weirdest thing I saw in recent history was the Pain Olympics where the guy cut his meat -n- potatoes off, and then cut them into bits after the fact
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Title: Re: Im leaving TMA
Post by magnum on 08/03/09 at 14:45:21

wrote on 08/02/09 at 07:36:46:
Before you go... HAVE A SANDWICH!



Well holy fuck! WHY HAVE I MISSED THIS?!?!?
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Title: Re: Wooo
Post by Brontok on 04/08/09 at 23:37:06
I'm just pointing out that I told you how to get me to leave. And I'd be doing much more than MSN conversations.


SynthR wrote on 04/05/09 at 18:40:43:
Honestly, nobody cares if you post or leave, Brontok. Why do you keep going on about ladies anyway. What's the point? Do MSN conversations get you all hot and bothered.

Xizor - Apparently you are correct about the link redirection.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4


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Title: Re: Wooo
Post by magnum on 04/09/09 at 14:50:50
Damn....thanks for the assist Scold. I'm not good with this extra curricular bullshit.

All I wanna do is copy and paste! IS THAT SO HARD TO DO?!?!? YES!!!! YES IT FUCKING IS!!!!

If and when Brontok gets to the "real" TMA, We'll see what's up.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Minions Grandpa on 02/17/11 at 10:19:52
I make a half assed comeback... then leave for months on end again to come back to this?

... seriously...

What the fuck has happened here...? No... I'm not gonna sift through the other pages to find out because this thread was STILL ALIVE WHEN I LEFT LAST TIME!!!

... fuck man... this is almost disturbing... but I've seen worse at the old TMA so I guess I can learn to deal with it.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by V-Wing on 02/17/11 at 16:31:14
Well this thread was semi gone, but got brought back up. Then it continues rolling for awhile, then it was dying again till you replied. haha
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 02/17/11 at 17:51:46
LMFAO!!

It takes me fucking around with my Admin powers, splicing very old replies from page 29 of Brawl to get MG to post!

How awesome. Maybe I should do this shit more often. Then maybe a few more really good vets will come back.

shure......
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 02/17/11 at 21:02:25
My favorite sex move is when she lays on her stomach and clinches her legs, ass, and pussy really tight (only works if your girl has a strong firm butt). Then you mount her from behind and hump her ass cheeks untill you are rock hard. But she is still squeezing her legs and ass tight... So you cant force your dick in her pussy. Then she gets all cocky and taunts you to fuck her. So you spit on your dick, grab her sholders, close your eyes, angle it just right, then you just jam that shit as hard as you can right between he flexing thighs and right into her pussy. Hearing that gasp is almost enough to make me cum right there haha.

I always end up losing though cause i can't pull my dick back out once i get it inside at that position. Totally sealed in. It's literally hurts if i try to try and pull it out while she's gripping her body tight hahaha. My only hope is if i am using a condom.

Don't miss when you do the big thrust though. If you arent angled just right it's like trying to thrust into solid ass. Not so good. I saw on Discovery channel you can pop the blood balloons in your dick by jammng it like that. It makes your dick turn all purple for awhile then when it heals up your dick bends forever. You really gotta be on target if you want to make it inside.

I call it the Cantonese Cock Lock.

Personally i prefer handjobs followed by blowjobs anyways.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by V-Wing on 02/17/11 at 21:56:55
ohmylands yes. I've seen pictures.

Scary, painful. lakjshljksadlfkjsdf

BEWARE:

http://www.the-bent-penis-website.com/images/FracturedPenis.jpg

Actually is a penile bone.. BAH sounds awful.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 02/18/11 at 01:41:03
ok, so I'm NOT gonna eat dinner now. thanks alot, dickhead. and on another note, leave it to you to post a dic pic
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 02/18/11 at 01:47:21
Haha stop posting pictures of your penis V-wing.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by V-Wing on 02/18/11 at 03:36:25
I'm a MAN now for it tho.


haha hey I said BEWARE..
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 02/18/11 at 03:54:55
Well you are pretty gay and that is a type of manliness.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by V-Wing on 02/18/11 at 04:15:33
Youz just upset that I got the biggest shlong on file now. baha ;)





in a disgusting way.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 02/18/11 at 06:56:13
http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2011/01/engrish-funny.jpg?w=500&h=369



http://chzmemebase.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/895f6e47-405e-4e53-b559-8b3c3f38df30.jpg?w=500&h=375








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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by V-Wing on 02/18/11 at 08:04:07
hahahahah that last one had me rollinggg!
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 02/20/11 at 09:11:43
lol @ all of it

glad to see someone keeping on topic here
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 02/21/11 at 00:41:28
I can't let my favorite thread die. I can't watch my god-child die.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 02/21/11 at 01:55:52
your avatar .gif should've been put in here full size. that shit is insane lol
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 02/23/11 at 09:41:48
I've never stopped WTF'ing at this .gif


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 02/23/11 at 20:20:54
for real.. Newton just gave it the   :-?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 02/23/11 at 23:05:17
Haha i used to have alot of fun at waterparks as a kid. Untill that time i nearly died anyways. I found the slide to be the most interesteting part because it had the most security.

The guards at the lazy river have it easy. Just make sure no retards drown or drown eachother while they float by in old people pee.

But every time i got on the slide it was like. "Sit down and grab the bar. DO NOT SLIDE DOWN UNTILL I TELL YOU TO. KEEP YOUR LEGS STRAIGHT AND YOUR ARMS FOLDED AT ALL TIMES! NO ONE OVER 350 POUNDS IS ALLOWED ON THE SLIDE!". Then the guy would say it again in spanish. But it sounded nicer in spanish somehow. I guess he didn't know how to talk like an asshole in spanish. Or he hated white people.

So if they have to put that kind of security there. There has to be alot of hidden fun.

Anyways here is a list of things to do at the waterslide. Don't worry about being kicked out. If anything they are more afraid of you sueing them for not stopping you from hurting your self then you should be afraid of being banned.

1. What that guy did. When you start sliding simply ball up your body and start going sideways. It's actually kind of a nice rush untill you accidently flip around backwards and start getting water up your nose. You come out sideways like that guy did. Except in the waterparks i've been to the slide comes out into a nice wide pool.

2. Backwards. Holy shit that is fun. Just ball your self up and let your body spin around. Once you've turned around just lay down straight and hold your arms in a ^ shape above your head so you get more speed and launch out faster. You need nose plugs or else you are going to get a bunch of cholorine water up your nose, especially at the end. Also your swimtrunks will fall off if the slide is fast and you dont tie them extra tight. But man it's a great head rush. All the blood goes to your head and if you have on goggles you can see the sun through the holes in the tube that they never bothered patching. Then when you shoot out you land on your back you make a horrible bellyflop sound, and people start running up and asking if you are okay. Then your bathing suit shoots out of the slide and the lifeguard notices you are actually nude and kind of swims back a few inches.

3. The spinner! Just like earlier but you keep your self in a ball shape. Kicking the walls when you can in order to keep spinning faster (everyone will hear it too it sounds terrible echoing up the tube). Watch out though because if you drink a cold bottle of gatoraide while doing that you'll puke your breakfast all over your self. Luckily the slide will clean the chunks off you by the time you reach the exit. But it's hard to explain all the half digested chineese food drenched in red gatoraide that comes with you.

4. Peeing down the slide while waiting for the other person to finish sliding. The trick is seeing if the lifeguard notices you are immedietly peeing once you sit down. The other joke is the other person is going to get splashed with pee on the way out. I did it to my sister because she kept making fun of my super mario bros swim trunks which were sexy as fuck.

One day i'd like to try taking a shit. Making sure i eat a block of cheese and crackers so it's a real solid poop. Then pooping while i'm waiting and watch my turd slide down after the person who just went down. I wonder if they'd notice that. Or if they just noticed the turd if they'd blame me or the person who went down the slide.

They'd know it's me because i would be laughing so hard i could not stand up. I would not be able to look any person in the face even if they had nothing to do with it.

5. Fake blood packet down the slide. Did this one during halloween. Only the lifeguard noticed so i was a bit dissapointed. Cause i was laughing so hard at the lifeguard freaking out i couldn't fake like i was actually injured.

Anyways just rip open the packet inside the pocket of your boxers. So when you come out of the slide you can see blood and it looks like it's coming out of your ass. It's hillarious. It works in pools and hot tubs too.

6. The rubber gloves of confusion. This one got me kicked out and is retarded. But i almost pissed my self laughing. Actually i did i was under a huge jet of water anyways... Bring some latex gloves with you and on your way down put them on your hands. Then grab the walls of the slide and stop. Wait there. Just keep holding on as long as you can and don't answer when people scream into the tunnel at you.

Eventually they'll turn the water off and climb down after you with a flashlight. I havent figured out what to do at that point so i just put my gloves in my pocket and tried to pretend i got stuck sideways. They found my gloves though and figured out i was lieing. Then they remembered me as the puke guy. Now i can't go back to NRH20.

Actually you know what i probably can i doubt they reconise me now. I should go back and do it all again. Except that they might arrest me now that i'm 26 for some of that.

7. Dieing. Go to the 14 foot part of the wavepool after staying up for 48 hours straight and taking Lortabs and drinking beer. See how many waves it takes to put you under the water. Then try and count how long it takes for the lifeguard to notice you are at the bottom of the wavepool at the 14 foot area trying to swim.

Bonus. If you do that and you are under 18. You can threaten to sue them and they'll give you straight cash right on the spot if you sign a few things. Also a year long pass to hurricane harbor and sick fags. I mean six flags.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 02/23/11 at 23:28:28





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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 02/24/11 at 00:44:40
LMAO, I love this thread... thats one OLD ass dog
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 02/24/11 at 02:50:15







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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 02/24/11 at 04:00:53
dude got knocked the fuck out, man
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by V-Wing on 02/24/11 at 04:30:09
GAH.  What a kick. Why'd he do that? haha I don't think he was being pursued by la policia...
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 02/24/11 at 09:16:00
The guy who got kicked was trying to find a ambulance. The mime wasn't trying to kick him he was just doing some extreme invisable box building.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 02/24/11 at 13:45:08
You fuckers are nuts. LMAO

I'm running out of fucking paper assholes.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 02/24/11 at 16:38:12







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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 02/25/11 at 03:49:44
OMFG MOAR!











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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 02/25/11 at 05:35:02
damn, Jetta got fucked up lol

saw a Hyundai in the junkyard that had what was obviously a pole land on it. a bad sign was the Casualty Insurance sticker in the window. not to mention the blood all over the seats and carpet
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 02/26/11 at 02:41:24




Wow, those were taken down?  They were pretty good.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 02/26/11 at 16:16:10
That....was fucking awesome.

The only thing I would change is having multiple hotties. Even more brilliant.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 02/26/11 at 22:45:11
Do it off a skyscraper during rushhour so a huge blob of cum splashes everybody and all the vehicles on the street below. A huge shadow from the sky, then darkness.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 02/27/11 at 05:59:10
Dear god. That is the best idea ever posted on the internet.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 02/27/11 at 23:05:46

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/04/11 at 07:37:25






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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by V-Wing on 03/10/11 at 07:08:15
Our resident Admin Magnum was recently spotted being a #1 Dad....





......*ahem*... in other news..


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 03/10/11 at 13:13:11
There's a few things wrong with that picture.

#1 -- There is basketball on the tv's in that bar. Fuck that shit.

#2 -- WTF is a kid doing in there? I go to bars to get away from kids.

#3 -- Her top is still on.

#4 -- Her bottom is still on

#5 -- Where the hell am I?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by V-Wing on 03/10/11 at 16:39:07
You were drunk. It's okay. You had about 21 Jager Bombs just before this..

..I think your kid suggested the place.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/10/11 at 22:06:18
Our resident faggot, V-Wing, being a faggot.
http://images2.memegenerator.net/ImageMacro/5199401/Of-course-IM-a-faggot-Dont-you-see-my-nails.jpg?imageSize=Medium&generatorName=faggot





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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 03/11/11 at 13:06:40
::::::::turns into Gieco spokesman::::::Heh...... you really like that belt don't you V-Wing?

You need to pay closer attention to.....well.....1-4. Esspecially 2.

If it wasn't for Obliverate, this thread might've died. I think Xizor would've been upset.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DeathStrikesBack on 03/12/11 at 00:32:21
I can never read that fucking comic without hearing that song in my head.



Soooooo, Beer Pong anyone?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/12/11 at 04:14:56
They're all empty. How are you supposed to play beer pong WITHOUT ANY BEER?
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DeathStrikesBack on 03/12/11 at 04:51:10

wrote on 03/12/11 at 04:14:56:
They're all empty. How are you supposed to play beer pong WITHOUT ANY BEER?


Theyre already in the cups. DUH
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 03/12/11 at 14:35:00
LMAO.

Obviously someone is under 21......or hasn't done anything he's not supposed to anyway.

That pic is fucking awesome. Me and my buddies used to do dumb shit like that. Start Friday night, and see how high we could get it before Sunday morning rolled around.


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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 03/19/11 at 02:28:00



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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/19/11 at 03:15:52
I was going to post that last one quite some time ago but... the whole no penetration thing.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 03/19/11 at 13:46:04
Dammit Xizor. LOL

Nightshade said no porn.  
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 03/20/11 at 01:23:59
yea, bc you're trying soooooo hard to put an end to that, Mag lol
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/22/11 at 03:52:20




































Ok, you guys are set for about 3 months.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 03/22/11 at 04:29:52
that was epic. all of it lol
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 03/22/11 at 04:49:46
Good stuff, but I feel most of it would have had more of an impact had it been situational and appropriate. I've had some great gifs and pics forever that I'm saving for just the right occasion.

In TM terms, save your specials and skill weapons for when you can maximize damage.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/22/11 at 05:01:37
I just unload on enemies with a barrage of everything I have. I also die a lot though.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Gunslinger on 03/22/11 at 08:21:17
http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/2685/mormonf.jpg
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 03/22/11 at 13:46:24
Xizor does have a point. It's never been about quanity at TMA. It's about quality.

::::heads over to hooka's post:::::::
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/24/11 at 00:55:42

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 03/24/11 at 01:05:32
LMAO.. I dunno about quality over quantity in this thread, since there's always time for a good laugh.. and this thread has nothing but win going for it. I vote Obliverate to keep barraging in here with hilarity
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 03/24/11 at 13:13:33
With the way her skirt is folded along with the trick of light, it really does look like she's got a fucking 2 ft cock.

Photoshopped or not, that's fucking funny.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/24/11 at 22:13:58

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Babadingldoo on 03/25/11 at 03:11:58

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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 03/25/11 at 05:34:55
embed fail. 'right-click/open in new tab' is go
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/25/11 at 05:38:58
lolwut
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by InfernalDeath on 03/25/11 at 05:39:07
That, or it just won't load up. Happened more than once on my side.
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Babadingldoo on 03/25/11 at 05:45:23
I bet I got it from one of those sites where you have to load the page it's from to see it, which defeats the purpose of embedding it. :-/
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 03/25/11 at 05:47:01
pretty much. on my end, its a box with some colored dots in it
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/25/11 at 05:54:35
My end:



Oh god that is huge. Oh well, live with it.
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Gunslinger on 03/25/11 at 07:42:37

wrote on 03/25/11 at 05:54:35:
My end:



Oh god that is huge. Oh well, live with it.

Same, I can see it too.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 03/26/11 at 02:29:25

(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/26/11 at 02:31:17
This is why abortion should be legal in all 50 states.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YellowJacket318 on 03/26/11 at 03:08:44
Is that a happy face or a, why the fuck are you showing me a mirror face?
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 03/26/11 at 19:02:48
She looks like a wax sculpture of Sloth that got put in a microwave.

Hey V-wing. Was she part of Gods plan? Cause that's kind of fucked up to do that to someone.

How much you want to bet the stain on his shirt is from that sweet little. uh. i don't know. Imagine watching it eat a hotdog with a bunch of mayoneese on it. Then giving oral sex to a large dog.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/26/11 at 22:24:39
I'm going to go vomit uncontrollably now.
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Babadingldoo on 03/27/11 at 08:04:28

wrote on 03/27/11 at 07:58:40:
………………_„-,-~''~''':::'':::':::::''::::''::::"…
………._,-''::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::..
………..,-':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::..
………,-'::::::::::::„:„„-~-~--'~-'~--~-~-~-~\
……..,'::::::::::,~'': : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :|
……..|::::::::,-': : : : : : : : - -~''''¯¯''-„: : : : :\
……..|::::::::|: : : : : : : : : _„„--~'''''~-„: : : : '|
……..'|:::::::,': : : : : : :_„„-: : : : : : : : ~--„_: |'
………|::::::|: : : „--~~'''~~''''''''-„…_..„~''''''''''''¯|
………|:::::,':_„„-|: : :_„---~:  :|''¯¯''''|: ~---„_: |
……..,~-,_/'': : : |: :(_ o__): : |: : : :|:(_o__): \.|
……../,'-,: : : : : ''-,_______,-'': : : : ''-„______|
……..\: :|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :„: : : : :-,: : : : : : :\
………',:': : : : : : : : : : : : :,-'__: : : :_',: : : : ;: ,'
……….'-,-': : : : : :___„-: : :'': : ¯''~~'': ': : ~--|'
………….|: ,: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :: : :|
………….'|: \: : : : : : : : -,„_„„-~~--~--„_: :: |
…………..|: \: : : : : : : : : : : :-------~: : : : : |
…………..|: :''-,: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :|
…………..',: : :''-, : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :: ,'
……………| : : : : : : : : :_ : : : : : : : : : : ,-'
……………|: : : : : : : : : : '''~----------~''
…………._|: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :|
……….„-''. '-,_: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : ,'
……,-''. . . . . '''~-„_: : : : : : : : : : : : :,-'''-„

I sell cocaine and cocaine accessories.
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/27/11 at 08:11:51
………………_„-,-~''~''':::'':::':::::''::::''::::"…
………._,-''::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::..
………..,-':::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::..
………,-'::::::::::::„:„„-~-~--'~-'~--~-~-~-~\
……..,'::::::::::,~'': : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :|
……..|::::::::,-': : : : : : : : - -~''''¯¯''-„: : : : :\
……..|::::::::|: : : : : : : : : _„„--~'''''~-„: : : : '|
……..'|:::::::,': : : : : : :_„„-: : : : : : : : ~--„_: |'
………|::::::|: : : „--~~'''~~''''''''-„…_..„~''''''''''''¯|
………|:::::,':_„„-|: : :_„---~:  :|''¯¯''''|: ~---„_: |
……..,~-,_/'': : : |: :(_ o__): : |: : : :|:(_o__): \.|
……../,'-,: : : : : ''-,_______,-'': : : : ''-„______|
……..\: :|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :„: : : : :-,: : : : : : :\
………',:': : : : : : : : : : : : :,-'__: : : :_',: : : : ;: ,'
……….'-,-': : : : : :___„-: : :'': : ¯''~~'': ': : ~--|'
………….|: ,: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :: : :|
………….'|: \: : : : : : : : -,„_„„-~~--~--„_: :: |
…………..|: \: : : : : : : : : : : :-------~: : : : : |
…………..|: :''-,: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :|
…………..',: : :''-, : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :: ,'
……………| : : : : : : : : :_ : : : : : : : : : : ,-'
……………|: : : : : : : : : : '''~----------~''
…………._|: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :|
……….„-''. '-,_: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : ,'
……,-''. . . . . '''~-„_: : : : : : : : : : : : :,-'''-„

MOAR COCAINEEEE
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DeathStrikesBack on 03/27/11 at 09:58:50


I HEARD THERE WAS COCAINE
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 03/27/11 at 10:12:06

(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DeathStrikesBack on 03/27/11 at 10:31:14

(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/27/11 at 16:58:58

(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 03/27/11 at 19:16:02

(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/27/11 at 21:07:36

(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 03/28/11 at 07:54:26
http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/8/8d/1262899625957.png
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YellowJacket318 on 03/29/11 at 01:22:40


Xiz is addicted to Facebook
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 03/29/11 at 03:05:33
I do love me some Facebook.  ;)
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YellowJacket318 on 03/29/11 at 03:12:18
Check your inbox mang
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 04/01/11 at 00:24:44

(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YellowJacket318 on 04/01/11 at 00:28:12
Good god, lol, I can't imagine what your hard drive would think if it could talk about the horrendous yet hillarious shit you have on it.
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 04/01/11 at 03:45:22
that woman is dead on the inside, hiding behind a fake smile. she birthed a penguin for fuck's sake
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 04/01/11 at 04:00:54
It looks like a bunch of bugs got into one of those wierd lopsided potatos. Even by potato standards that kid is messed up.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 04/01/11 at 05:02:55
Whats sad is that that family will tell that child growing up how special it is and that it can do everything it wants to do, even become President when that isn't how the world works. The child worship and pampering in this country has reached an all time high. That "thing" will probably kill itself by the time its 25, if it even has the mental capacity to do such a thing, because by then it will realize how fucked up the world is and how much of a disadvantage its at. Unless its just blissfully retarded, it will one day come to terms with how shitty its life is and try and end it.
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YellowJacket318 on 04/01/11 at 05:13:28
HB - Lol at the lopsided potato
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 04/01/11 at 05:57:03
It's called Treacher-Collins syndrome FYI. the most severe case out there is Juliana Wetmore.

EDIT: ED! http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Juliana_Wetmore
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 04/01/11 at 13:03:12
Holy shit. You think about hating to be mean but...wow.

Definately back a couple 100 years ago, that baby would've been thrown in the woods, never to be seen again. They'd just say it died stillborn or something.

Funny how that other one Xizor posted called Juliana Wetmore has cost taxpayers 3 million dollars. How nice.
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YellowJacket318 on 04/01/11 at 13:23:20
Wetmore is the lopsided potato.. the one Xiz posted is a different mutant
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 04/01/11 at 17:06:54
You don't name those creatures Mags. That makes them a real person.
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 04/01/11 at 17:11:19
What i like most is when a cop or some city offical fucks up or kills someone. Then someone sues the state. It's all tax payer money they get out of that.

Hurts brain. Can't write.
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Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Gunslinger on 04/02/11 at 04:48:39

(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 04/02/11 at 13:41:28

XIZOR wrote on 04/01/11 at 17:06:54:
You don't name those creatures Mags. That makes them a real person.


Shit. You go back into early human history, a baby like that would've been considered a demon or something. No way it would be kept alive to be side by side with anyone in a community. They'd never alow it.

I understand the "life" argument but that's crazy. What quality of life is that? It's not life in the form of human, it's like a plant that can make noise.

 
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 04/02/11 at 19:33:49
You mean like this?


(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 04/04/11 at 20:01:55
Check my triples. First to 5000 bitches! I should be made into a Goderator.


(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YellowJacket318 on 04/05/11 at 00:10:12
Surprised you didn't say I was BGHHLLLRRRRRFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!! was me, seeing as how that human pug is wearing a yellow shirt
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 04/10/11 at 04:02:13

(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Babadingldoo on 04/12/11 at 16:37:03
I love Depressing Comic Week! :D








(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YellowJacket318 on 04/12/11 at 21:43:31
Although they're called Depressing, are they supposed to be funny?? I don't get it..
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Brian Evol on 04/13/11 at 20:30:31

XIZOR wrote on 04/01/11 at 17:06:54:
You don't name those creatures Mags. That makes them a real person.


This post is 100% win.
(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 04/24/11 at 21:55:42

(Attachment deleted)

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 04/25/11 at 15:50:08
Well, since a troll thread got locked in the middle of my making a post, I'll just post it here.

































Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by ScreemPunk97 on 04/29/11 at 22:50:12
I WIN!!!!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 04/29/11 at 23:05:01
Was... was that supposed to be funny?

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 04/30/11 at 01:26:40
you also spelled 'Captain' wrong in your sig

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 04/30/11 at 10:26:59
Yeah, I laughed at that earlier. It's not "Catain Fucken Spaulding" It's "Captain Fuckin' Spaulding"

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 04/30/11 at 10:49:17
I swear to God if I see that fucking little red-headed retard pondering.....I'm gonna fucking execute someone....

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/06/11 at 00:00:36

Hypno-gasms

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Another Dead Hero on 05/06/11 at 00:56:45

wrote on 05/06/11 at 00:00:36:

Hypno-gasms

I wanna make a "Jizz In My Pants" joke, but i don't wanna get bitched at.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Sling on 05/06/11 at 01:51:12

Another Dead Hero wrote on 05/06/11 at 00:56:45:
I wanna make a "Jizz In My Pants" joke, but i don't wanna get bitched at.

I don't see why you'd get bitched at. Unless your joke is lame as fuck. Even then we'd just point our fingers and laugh at you (not with you).

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Another Dead Hero on 05/06/11 at 01:57:27

Sling wrote on 05/06/11 at 01:51:12:
I don't see why you'd get bitched at. Unless your joke is lame as fuck. Even then we'd just point our fingers and laugh at you (not with you).


Okay fine, here's the joke.... :Everytime the girls cum in the gif: "And i jizz in my pants", there, that was the joke, not the best, i know.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 05/06/11 at 08:36:41
BAWWWWWWWWWHAAAAAWWWWWWHAAAAWWWHAAAAAAWWWWWHHHAAAAA!!!

OMFG that was so not funny.

Bitches just faking. Hypno orgasims.....jeez....

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Another Dead Hero on 05/06/11 at 11:58:57

Magnum wrote on 05/06/11 at 08:36:41:
BAWWWWWWWWWHAAAAAWWWWWWHAAAAWWWHAAAAAAWWWWWHHHAAAAA!!!

OMFG that was so not funny.

Bitches just faking. Hypno orgasims.....jeez....

I said the joke wasn't gonna be funny... Fuck it. And might as well do some shameless advertisement here, got a new fanfic up!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by InfernalDeath on 05/06/11 at 13:06:16
Remind me to never enter a conversation with the likes of you.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YellowJacket318 on 05/08/11 at 10:39:32
That's a first time watching a gasm for Mag, forgive him ADH, for he knows not of what he sees lol..

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 05/08/11 at 11:31:00
Hell no. It's just hypno orgasims sounds so........faked.

If they're truely creaming their jeans, that's cool and all. I'd love to know how to go about making women do that.

Just snap my fingers and there would be an instant cream spot in their crotch. How awesome.....

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YellowJacket318 on 05/08/11 at 14:38:21
That would be badass! We should find a class on how to hypnotize chicks (other than abusing my charm which accomplishes the same task), and see if we can get a group rate!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Another Dead Hero on 05/08/11 at 18:31:57
Shit yeah... Except when it comes to fat chicks, they gotta pay, hot chicks get it for free.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 05/08/11 at 18:53:02

Another Dead Hero wrote on 05/08/11 at 18:31:57:
Shit yeah... Except when it comes to fat chicks, they gotta pay, hot chicks get it for free.



I bet you kiss hookers.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Another Dead Hero on 05/08/11 at 19:41:53
No, never kissed a hooker before.... Wait, this is gonna turn into a random response deal, isn't it?

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 05/08/11 at 20:03:03
No i'm just calling you out on being a hooker kisser and chubby chaser.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Another Dead Hero on 05/08/11 at 20:39:53
Making sure Hellbent... And no, not a chubby chaser, but thanks for asking.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 05/09/11 at 07:43:55

YJ318 wrote on 05/08/11 at 14:38:21:
That would be badass! We should find a class on how to hypnotize chicks (other than abusing my charm which accomplishes the same task), and see if we can get a group rate!


I'd be down for that shit.

I heard and read hypnotizing doesn't work unless the particapant is willing. If you look at that one bitch, she's fucking the damn chair.

Seems these women love the cock. Or at least love the orgasim aspect of it anyway.  

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Dim Shades - on 05/11/11 at 19:01:57
"I said the joke wasn't gonna be funny...fuck it."

It's like someone talking about Bush and abortion / stem cell funding:

"Dude knows a lot about the subject"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IinaEJ_37g

The chicks came to this song. Thats what the numbers being harmonized in the background symbolize.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 05/22/11 at 14:35:38

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 05/22/11 at 16:06:32
I saw that one so long ago. Fucking hilarious. The site that has those things has a lot of funny buy/sell things on it.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 05/22/11 at 16:24:10
Haha. That's hilarious.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 05/23/11 at 07:04:07
Now that, is fucking retarted.


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/23/11 at 20:44:41

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/28/11 at 23:58:06

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/30/11 at 12:55:31
http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/127/719/tumblr_lkynnhXY4x1qfyv11o1_500.jpg?1306550834

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 05/31/11 at 18:54:16
http://imgur.com/a/D17ll

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 06/03/11 at 02:26:46

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 06/06/11 at 19:04:06

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 06/16/11 at 20:38:45

A local Bar. I kid you not.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 06/16/11 at 20:45:01
what the fail? fucking AZNs...

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 06/16/11 at 20:48:13
I'm guessing these were taken outside of the con center at E3?



Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 06/17/11 at 08:28:42


Now that is awesome. Hunt me down baby!!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Serpentine on 06/17/11 at 08:35:52


lol u mad?

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 06/17/11 at 08:43:20
Boba Fette can Slave One my cock any day.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 06/17/11 at 10:39:07

The Dizaster Child wrote on 06/16/11 at 20:45:01:
what the fail? fucking AZNs...

Yes, AZN teepees.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 06/21/11 at 00:48:34

I wonder what she is reaching for?

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 06/21/11 at 00:52:46
the knife I'm gonna use to stab your nigger ass for posting that bullshit

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 06/21/11 at 00:56:17
Dude I could not resist.






Damn right son, lazer cats have a setting for me.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 06/21/11 at 01:02:33
ok, well.. laser cats are cool. but you're still a nigger for ruining my shit, fucker  >:(

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 06/21/11 at 01:09:08
Hey fuck you...




I ruined it twice.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 06/23/11 at 11:54:07




Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Paint-It-Blak on 06/23/11 at 14:05:47
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSPLffAHE9UMeRt9PXBk3byxTIoxFCqzAgw8hJQGE5_QUGLkMXQqg&t=1

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 06/23/11 at 14:31:11

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 06/29/11 at 21:46:58







Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Paint-It-Blak on 06/29/11 at 23:38:08






http://assets0.ordienetworks.com/tmbs/2eb1ce3c5b/fullsize_11.jpg?037a0d17

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 06/29/11 at 23:54:42
http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/133/564/d943ae20dd0e4ce0897658c3548caf98.gif?1307932959

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 06/30/11 at 19:24:37
http://www.notracistbut.com/

Here are some samples:




Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 07/01/11 at 08:33:56
It's made even worse all them wetbacks are taking away all the jobs white people don't want. They're making the unemployment rate soar.

I mean really!? Who doesn't want to sweat their asses off making 5 bucks an hour planting flowers at a shopping center???

THIS IS OUTRAGIOUS!!!!!


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 07/05/11 at 02:16:48
V-Wing's Campfire Tales


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/05/11 at 02:30:52
http://cdn3.knowyourmeme.com/system/icons/4408/medium/You_are_a_Douchebag.gif?1289706883

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/05/11 at 03:04:19

























Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Paint-It-Blak on 07/06/11 at 21:06:30

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/07/11 at 00:17:23


A Call of Duty event?
LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL EEEEEEEGGGGGGGOOOOOOO
$150 a ticket.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/08/11 at 04:18:01


And your eyes are now spoiled. Nothing will ever be cooler than that.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 07/08/11 at 08:05:31
Awesome how the shockwave rolls through, and they didn't flinch.

Like Innately said, give up on the human race. Heh.




Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/08/11 at 15:13:59
http://www.earthlings.com/

The worst thing you'll ever see. I honestly suggest not watching this, I'm only posting it because it coincided with that post.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 07/08/11 at 16:38:54

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/08/11 at 16:52:13
http://s3.amazonaws.com/kym-assets/photos/images/original/000/134/784/buzzwoodyunleashed.jpg?1308129071

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 07/08/11 at 22:39:17


This is so corny, I felt it belonged in
[url=[url]http://brucelives.deviantart.com/gallery/8745531][url]http://brucelives.deviantart.com/gallery/8745531[/url][/url]

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/08/11 at 22:47:29
http://brucelives.deviantart.com/gallery/8745531

Your link was broken.
These are lame.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 07/08/11 at 23:56:12
Man these motivational posters sure got shitty. Leave it to the internet to take a funny concept like that and make it over saturated with lameness.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 07/09/11 at 00:17:18
That's why I posted it, because of how overly lame and corny it was. I feel bad for the people that posed for those panels, though. I'd hate to have to fess up to that shit. Especially the Needles guy, That mask looks like a first grader made it lol.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/09/11 at 00:26:11
They're just soooo bad. Shitty greenscreen and everything. My personal favorite is Hammerhead. You can see a light on top of their heads and a computer monitor in his... glasses...


Oh. My. God.
I think they used Photobooth on a Mac. Haha, they probably went to an Apple store because, judging by those pictures, he's got no money.
It's so grainy too! You don't use a webcame for pictures. You just don't!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 07/09/11 at 01:43:53
People like that are the reason i hate fan art most of the time.

"I DREW THIS SUPER COOL PICTURE OF SWEETTOOTH I SPENT 4 YEARS ON IT AND I'M A PROFESSIONAL DO ANY OF YOU GUYS KNOW WHO I CAN EMAIL TO GET A JOB AT SONY? IF ANYONE FROM SONY IS READING ITS OKAY TO USE MY ART AND IDEAS BUT PLEASE EMAIL ME THANK YOU :) :) :) :) :)

PS CHECK OUT MY FAN STORY "TWISTED JAMES" IT'S MY TM FAN FICTION STARRING ME! I BEAT SWEETTOOTH AND MINION AT THE SAME TIME USING MY GREEN DIRTBIKE AND I GET MARCUS TO REALISE THAT HE IS SWEEETOOTH AND HE AND I ARE BEST FRIENDS AND WE BEAT UP CALYPSO AND TAKE HIS POWERS THEN WE USE HIS POWERS TO WISH MY PARENTS BACK THEN I SAVE TWISTERS LIFE WHEN HAMMERHEAD IS ABOUT TO KILL HER AND SHE TURNS INTO MY GIRLFRIEND AND WE TAKE OVER THE TWISTED METAL TOURNAMENT AND HOST IT IN THOMAS'S BACK YARD BECAUSE HE CALLED ME A FAG AND HE IS A JERK. BUT YOU CAN'T BEAT ME IN MY ALTERNATE REALITY THOMAS! THIS IS MY WORLD! ITS MYYYY WORRRRLD! THEN I PLAYED SONIC 4 THE END"

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/09/11 at 04:00:52
http://www.youtube.com/user/mormon

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 07/09/11 at 10:23:27
Sooooo.. you're saying Twisted Metal needs a guy on a unicycle? Because I COMPLETELY agree. He could be Axel's arch enemy lol..

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 07/09/11 at 11:31:29
They should put a pedo van into Twisted Metal. The special move could be the Amber Alert where chains from the back of the car catch you and drag you into the back of the van.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 07/09/11 at 12:11:27
Pedo Van is in the Vigilante series.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/09/11 at 13:35:28

The Dizaster Child wrote on 07/09/11 at 10:23:27:
Sooooo.. you're saying Twisted Metal needs a guy on a unicycle? Because I COMPLETELY agree. He could be Axel's arch enemy lol..

No. Dude the fucking morons mormons have their own Youtube.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/09/11 at 15:12:28

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Sling on 07/09/11 at 22:20:29



Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/09/11 at 22:23:21
Those all seem like Wins to me.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Sling on 07/09/11 at 22:27:14
Agreed. Except for the 3rd one which I just edited in there.


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 07/10/11 at 01:45:18
I was having fun using Google to find pics of botched plastic surgeries when, lo and behold, I stumbled across this:




My GOD, man!  I had no idea the woman responsible for 50% of my childhood boners had turned into...whatever that is.  

Here's some more...










Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Sling on 07/10/11 at 02:06:05
HOT DAMN what the fuck happened?

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 07/10/11 at 02:09:15
Wow.. that is a tragedy. Nikki Cox was hooooooot. I feel bad for Jay Mohr having to deal with that deflated balloon lol

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 07/10/11 at 02:44:40
Hurry, use tape to seal up the leaks and blow into her vagina!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/10/11 at 03:39:16

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 07/10/11 at 07:05:06
All i can imagine is trying to grab Nikki Cox's boob in the dark and getting a hand full or rib cage.

How do you sweet talk her? "Oh baby your skeleton is so hot. Your rib cage cleavage turns me on so hard. I love the way your ridiculous cartoon lips feel on my cock, it's like getting blown by an anorexic boob clown. I love the fair."

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/10/11 at 17:19:29
So my cousin said that when he grows up he will have a Corvette.
If not, a Camaro.
If not that, a Mustang.


I concluded that he will drive a Dodge Caravan. So thanks to Photoshop, I made him the best damn Caravan out there.



Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 07/10/11 at 18:33:53
Haha, look at those rims. Shining right through the smoke.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/10/11 at 18:44:36
Nigga don keep 'em shining.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 07/10/11 at 20:00:45
*looks at window and windshield reflection*

Damn, nigga, there's fucking trees and houses and shit on that track?  Shit is mad pimp.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/10/11 at 20:34:53
Nigga, please tell me you be lyin' dawg.
Erryone knows da Nurburgring has floatin' house and sheet!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 07/11/11 at 15:49:36

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 07/11/11 at 23:41:11
Just...why?


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/13/11 at 01:23:20

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 07/13/11 at 01:59:30
I'm more annoyed by the fact that I am lame enough to find that funny.

Fuck you, sir.  

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/13/11 at 02:21:06

What the fuck happened. She looks like a transvestite now.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 07/13/11 at 02:29:40
I cannot recall ever thinking of the fairer sex when looking at her, honestly.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/13/11 at 02:34:13
She looks like she fell off an oak tree and hit every branch on the way down.






...

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 07/13/11 at 09:14:14
I always found her to be hot when she wasn't caked with make-up and thrown down the red carpet. I prefer her in normal, everyday clothes and minimal make-up.

I thought that Cyanide strip was funny, too. I don't feel lame... dammit..

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Paint-It-Blak on 07/14/11 at 01:11:18

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/14/11 at 23:05:24






Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by -SCoLD- on 07/15/11 at 11:51:17
The page still lists "Three" reasons when only two are listed.

Gotta love Wikipedia vandalism.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 07/16/11 at 09:07:58
I just love the fact the fucking retart in the sperm bank page tried the "frozen yogurt." I'm sure it's a joke?

That's fucking classic right there. How the fuck.......nevermind.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/20/11 at 07:35:36

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 07/20/11 at 19:39:14


I give it...



Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 07/20/11 at 21:17:24
Rally - That Nigga Doin' It Wrong

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 07/20/11 at 21:50:48
South American Ninjas aren't very stealthy.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/21/11 at 00:48:09

My bitchin' house in a Minecraft MP server. It's a very bright home.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 07/21/11 at 02:29:07

wrote on 07/21/11 at 00:48:09:
My bitchin' house in a Minecraft MP server. It's a very bright home.


Awesome! Nice use of redstone torches and cobblestone.





Here are my little structures.




























Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/22/11 at 19:00:24


Found this image of CatDog.



Just thought I'd destroy some childhoods.




Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Dim Shades - on 07/22/11 at 23:06:39
LOL. Catdog was king back in 1998 - especially that fuckin' rabbit that would always be a real prick to everybody.

The only thing that can top that Catdog pic is the cast of Hey Arnold! pulling a train.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 07/29/11 at 19:00:35



Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/31/11 at 17:43:30
Why do you keep posting the 4chan logo?

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 08/01/11 at 09:32:03
4chan probably does that to people who link their images off-site.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 08/01/11 at 09:56:54
They were two very good .gifs, but, yes, Synthr is correct.  I would upload them myself, but I cannot do it from where I am.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 08/02/11 at 19:14:08

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 08/03/11 at 01:19:40
Take #2




Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YJ318 on 08/03/11 at 10:14:07
Smithfield RI pulls no punches.. ;D

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 08/03/11 at 19:16:50

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 08/06/11 at 23:08:51

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 08/07/11 at 02:15:31
"All we know is.. he's called THE STIG!"

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 08/07/11 at 04:32:39
Some say that his first name really is "The," and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant including the camera men... all we know is, he's called the Stig.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YJ318 on 08/07/11 at 15:00:45
Some say that he appears on high value stamps in Sweden, and that he can catch fish with his tongue... we know him only, as the Stig.

Anyone remember Black Stig?

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 08/07/11 at 15:08:32
Some say he went so fast in a Zonda, that he traveled back in time and impregnated Benjamin Franklin.. and that he named it Mary Poppins. All we know is, he's called.. The Stig.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 08/07/11 at 15:08:58

YJ318 wrote on 08/07/11 at 15:00:45:
Some say that he appears on high value stamps in Sweden, and that he can catch fish with his tongue... we know him only, as the Stig.

Anyone remember Black Stig?

Yeah, I remember black Stig. I never liked his helmet (white Stig had it at first). It was short and wierd and doesn't look cool like the current.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 08/22/11 at 17:22:32
I always laugh at this.


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 08/22/11 at 18:26:05
When i first heard it i thought he said

Give me food

Get me filed

Give me double genociled





I do an awesome impersonation of his singing.  HARDLARBAEEERR! OOOH YEAHH DABALAR RAOW!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by InfernalDeath on 08/22/11 at 19:04:19
Hah! That pretty much sums up Metallica in the past 20 years.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Spagett on 08/22/11 at 19:36:29

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 08/22/11 at 21:22:58
Those last two pics were full of fun and giggles.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 08/23/11 at 02:35:05

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 08/23/11 at 04:10:11
Who the fuck spends their entire beat-off session on Redtube?  

What a fucking colossal noob.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 08/23/11 at 08:56:37
That reminds me. Better delete my history.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 08/23/11 at 10:14:26
He was clearly on cocaine, duh.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 08/23/11 at 12:05:27
I don't know. Sometimes i get a little backed up and i gotta work it out a few times. I can't just shoot one out right after the first one either. Gotta do it once every 15 minutes or the loads are tiny and it hurts my dick.

I think the most i've spent jacking it on the internet is about 16 hours. But in my defense it felt really great.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 08/23/11 at 22:01:48

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Sling on 08/23/11 at 22:10:35
Hahaha.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 08/24/11 at 00:32:00

The ending is the best part.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 08/24/11 at 20:36:51
http://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/2525905/missing/

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 08/25/11 at 18:11:44
LMAO! That is the best trolling I've ever seen.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 08/26/11 at 08:37:03
Dear Milissa,

I have quite an extrodanary garden of vegtables I would like you to cover for my next garden salad. If your willing, I would like to go ahead and try and sign a contract with you to coat all my vegtables for a low diet salad line called "Fresh Fapping"

This will include the use of Eggplants, Cum-Quats, Tomatoes, and Romain lettuce. I have other girls in the line up as well, and belive you would be my next taste sensation.

Please AIM me at H0tSaladS.
I look foward to tasting.....I mean......hearing from you.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 08/26/11 at 18:53:56
http://www.flickr.com/photos/linda_robbins/

There's just so many... I... I don't even...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/linda_robbins/5641896781/in/photostream
Read the comment.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Sling on 08/26/11 at 19:41:26
"This member is no longer active on Flickr."

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 08/26/11 at 19:46:16
Oh god no. It was posted on Reddit and I'm guessing anywhere from 1,000-5,000 people saw it within an hour. It's just a bunch of women that this lady photoshopped her face onto. Badly. And she only used one headshot.
I tihnk there were like 169 images.


EDIT: I aim to please! Screencap!


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 08/26/11 at 20:28:56

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 08/30/11 at 23:56:23

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 08/31/11 at 17:48:17

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 09/01/11 at 16:29:24
up here in Oregon, we have... different kinds of magazines...




Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 09/01/11 at 16:42:26
I'd hit it.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 09/02/11 at 22:45:43

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 09/04/11 at 07:16:19


Inspired by John Madden.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 09/06/11 at 08:18:10

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 09/09/11 at 02:06:41

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 09/09/11 at 07:27:45

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 09/12/11 at 05:58:32

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 09/12/11 at 10:10:27
What the hell is that from?

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 09/12/11 at 18:33:11
I think I saw it on Tosh.0. Just a youtube video I guess.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 09/15/11 at 21:40:57

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 09/16/11 at 01:23:24
Is there an entire comic for that?

I really hope there is. There needs to be.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 09/20/11 at 21:39:06
NSFW.















Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 09/22/11 at 10:22:37

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 09/25/11 at 21:07:43

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Infernal on 09/27/11 at 16:31:36

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 09/28/11 at 01:53:26
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loWFypHb48k&feature=fvwp&NR=1

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 09/28/11 at 02:38:54

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 09/28/11 at 02:44:57
I just...

Wow...

I hate you...

Make love to my sisters...

Mmmmm, tuna love.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 09/28/11 at 02:57:32
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1204342/parentalguide

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 09/29/11 at 00:56:09

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 09/29/11 at 12:46:58

wrote on 09/29/11 at 00:56:09:


If this were C&C i would send all the children at once to distract the AI while the nurse and doctor take out the photographer.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 09/30/11 at 18:51:44

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/02/11 at 08:15:13

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 10/03/11 at 20:05:47

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 10/03/11 at 23:21:59
Now that is what I'd call a helpful review. Someone give that man a free month.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by ScreemPunk97 on 10/04/11 at 12:57:41






















Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 10/05/11 at 01:06:05
This actually made me laugh lol..

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/05/11 at 01:07:31

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 10/05/11 at 19:09:20



These are the words I live by. For everything holy in the internet.





Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 10/07/11 at 01:57:43

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by ScreemPunk97 on 10/07/11 at 06:49:46

The Dizaster Child wrote on 10/05/11 at 01:06:05:
This actually made me laugh lol..


I laughed because none of it's true, Even the donuts  ;D

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Toasty on 10/07/11 at 06:51:09

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by ScreemPunk97 on 10/07/11 at 07:01:49
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSVeHqXiTYjvRvYpfyJBRzqBBtqPUz7Xkm_4JkvKsGkvfGT8ohhEeutFP6Vjg


 :-?

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Kilrgrn on 10/07/11 at 07:55:12
"I laughed because none of it's true, Even the donuts"


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/07/11 at 09:43:30

Toasty wrote on 10/07/11 at 06:51:09:


I think I may cry, laughing.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 10/09/11 at 11:25:40


LOL!! Warning:Choking Hazard!! LMFAO!!



Damn yo! I'm's Hungry yo!!






Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 10/10/11 at 01:37:02

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Sling on 10/10/11 at 20:51:01

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 10/10/11 at 21:17:52

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/10/11 at 21:24:59

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 10/10/11 at 21:45:36

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 10/10/11 at 21:51:42
Any homeless guy could have played Gandalf.

There is a guy in the stockyards we call the Tree Wizard. Cause he always has leaves and sticks in his hair and beard. Pretty sure he sleeps in the trees.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 10/12/11 at 01:53:12









Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 10/17/11 at 02:34:49


The downside to imagination.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 10/17/11 at 03:05:06
Ahh i miss the days of painting offensive shit on my cars in online races. Can't wait.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 10/18/11 at 17:00:11

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by RoaDiE on 10/18/11 at 21:08:14

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Kilrgrn on 10/18/11 at 21:11:59
I cannot wait to go to Canada in two weeks.

I want to be sprayed with a squirt-bottle.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 10/18/11 at 21:27:57
Don't let Roadie fool you. Those guns are filled with man slime. That's actually a street bukkake party/gay pride parade. See the dude in a police uniform enjoying taking a load to the face? Yeah....

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by RoaDiE on 10/18/11 at 23:07:33
for anyone that saw that stupid episode of walking dead yesterday...


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 10/19/11 at 01:24:12

RoaDiE wrote on 10/18/11 at 23:07:33:
for anyone that saw that stupid episode of walking dead yesterday...



I love the magical nature if Binoculars in TV and Movies. They are only good for spotting plot points. Never will they prevent you from falling victim to anything.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 10/19/11 at 20:17:04

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 10/19/11 at 20:25:31
Canada is overrated. Don't come here!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/19/11 at 21:35:45

SynthR wrote on 10/19/11 at 20:25:31:
Canada is overrated. Don't come here!


I'll be forced to move there once the Department Of Justice shuts down Bodog Poker.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/20/11 at 04:11:29

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 10/20/11 at 10:30:39

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 10/21/11 at 03:02:16

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/21/11 at 15:57:04

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/21/11 at 19:52:03
Fuckin' noobs, man...


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Infernal on 10/23/11 at 00:24:10

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/23/11 at 00:33:41
^^^  Elbow from the sky.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/24/11 at 16:07:04
WEEEEEEEEEEE!




Flawless Victory.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 10/24/11 at 18:44:41

[TMA]InnatelyGestaltist wrote on 10/24/11 at 16:07:04:
WEEEEEEEEEEE!




Flawless Victory.


Combo 2x
Combo 3x
Combo 4x
Combo 5x
Combo 6x
Combo 7x
Combo 8x
Combo 9x

MANSLAUGHTER!

3800!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/24/11 at 18:59:35
The lady in the red shorts who gets popped into the air while still on her bike is probably the best part.  She's just standing there like a deer in headlights, then the next thing you see is a pair of legs being flung into the air like a pendulum.  There's also that first bike which gets tossed high as hell, which is hilarious-looking.

But the girl in the red shorts, I love how you can tell that she just accepted her fate once she turned around.  "well, fuck...".

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 10/24/11 at 19:22:00
God I've always fantasized about doing that.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Psycho Se7eN on 10/25/11 at 07:03:07


Zoolander, the Dark Knight remix.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 10/25/11 at 10:10:11
Holy fuck. Hahaha. You can see people jump out of the way in the background.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 10/25/11 at 11:24:03
On the bright side he'll only get like 1 star for that.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 10/26/11 at 09:15:39
I read the driver said he didn't mean for that to happen and wasn't even arrested. Now that's a genius alibi.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 10/26/11 at 09:40:33
Always play stupid. They can't convict you if you claim it was your own stupidity.

Unless he knew everyone in that bike rally. Or if someone got killed then that is an instant manslaughter charge but they'd have just given him a fine for that.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Infernal on 10/26/11 at 17:00:31
Occupy Oakland.


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 10/26/11 at 17:21:58
He is just rubbing the mace off his hands.

The picture would be funnier if there were bodies under those tarps in the background

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 10/26/11 at 18:55:51
Who the fuck brings a cat to a protest?

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 10/26/11 at 18:58:57
The old cat lady down the street who came just to have something to bitch about aside from the little bastards from the neighborhood playing on her grass.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 10/26/11 at 22:40:14
I'm all for the protests. About time they protest the people really sticking it to us.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 10/27/11 at 08:10:31
"I read the driver said he didn't mean for that to happen and wasn't even arrested. Now that's a genius alibi."

Well hell! I think I'll go and rob a fucking bank now!

"Sorry! I didn't realize I stole ALL the money! Here......I'll give some back."

AIN'T I A NICE FUCKING GUY?!?!?!?!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 10/28/11 at 08:20:57
Chances are no one was seriously injured. Pressing charges is expensive. If someone hired a decent lawyer and persued it that guy would have had to pay a huge fine.

If he accidently killed someone then it would be manslaughter without question. In that case he does go to jail unless he is a popular celebrity or a politician.

Then again you don't see the aftermath. The guy could have jumped out of his car and immedietly started tending to the hurt. Or he could be like so old looking that blaming him would be like blaming a retard for thinking an orange crayon would taste like Sunny D

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/28/11 at 12:59:33
He was most likely hired by the government to do what he did.  The full video is pretty horrible and tragic, btw.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 10/29/11 at 06:48:41

[TMA]InnatelyGestaltist wrote on 10/28/11 at 12:59:33:
He was most likely hired by the government to do what he did.  The full video is pretty horrible and tragic, btw.



Ahh well. I hoped for the best. But it does look very damn intentional.

The Gif doesn't really get the violence across. Though i can relate to the pain of smashing into a car hood.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YJ318 on 10/29/11 at 09:36:16
Anyone notice that in that car smashing the bike people, that at the very beginning, someone on a bike on the left side of the gif, has his phone up like he's recording it..  Why would you take a vid instead of getting the fuck out of the way??   Link to full vid please

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 10/29/11 at 11:56:18
LOL, wow.. what a fucktard. I hope that guy got smashed into oblivion. And there is no way that was NOT intentional. If it was an accident, the guy would have jammed the brakes after smacking into the first one, not run through 100 feet of bikers.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 10/29/11 at 13:27:09

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 10/29/11 at 14:07:54
"According to a police report"

uh huh.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 10/29/11 at 15:36:47
Haha, he got his nigger ass stomped by fucking Marines.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YJ318 on 10/29/11 at 20:06:01
LOL!!! That's great!! Like the Esteban Carpio thing that happened here in Rhode Island.  

Story is this:

Esteban Carpio was taken into custody to be questioned about the murder of an 85 yr old woman.  During the interrogation, one of the two detectives leaves the room leaving Carpio alone with Det. Allen.  He wrestles with Allen, get's Allen's gun, shoots him 2x killing him.  Then shoots out the window and jumps out of the 3rd story window.  He's apprehended 45 minutes later.  

Fast Forward to the Trial..  LOOK AT THIS DUDE'S FACE!!!!   They said that there was no police brutality and that the injuries were sustained from the 3 story drop.. LOL!!! FUCK THAT DICKHEAD UP!!  He shot and killed a cop INSIDE the police station.. do you think they're NOT going to beat his ass?  LOL.. dumb motherfucker


Full Story Link: - http://police-brutality-blog.blogspot.com/2007/08/american-justice-esteban-carpio-was-he.html

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 10/29/11 at 20:10:45
Why are there just normal windows in places like that?

I know bullet/impact resistant glass is expensive and all. But at least put up a wire frame or some steel bars or shit.

I wonder how many people have "leaped" out of those windows who were actually tossed.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YJ318 on 10/29/11 at 21:05:19
Well I see your point, but at the same time HB.. Normally cops would be the only ones with guns in the building, cops not gonna shoot out their own windows, so who would have thought that a suspect would shoot one out.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 10/29/11 at 21:44:00
I figure if you are in a place that is full of people with guns. As well as a place where they take dangerous criminals to in order to ask them questions. You would put bars on the windows. So even if they break the window they cant escape through it.

It's not that expensive and it would make a whole lot of sense considering people might jump out of a window to try and escape.

Totally saying that in hindsight of the event. But seriously bars on the windows is like security 101. I mean how loose is that place? Can i bring a 2 story ladder and get into an evidence room that has an open window?

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YJ318 on 10/29/11 at 21:48:28
LOL Providence sucks!  I agree 100% about the bars on the windows.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 10/30/11 at 08:51:18
I actually just wrote an essay on cops being above the law in Canada. It's pretty scary. I understand sometimes you need a little street justice, but a lot of cops take things way too far involving innocent people or covering up their mistakes. But if you're a criminal, I say prepare to have your ass whooped.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YJ318 on 10/30/11 at 10:43:15
SynthR - How about Montreal Canadians fans being little bitches and still Booing Chara and the police investigation on the Max Pacioretty hit is STILL going on!!   Street Justice please!! Also, PK Subban needs to get his fucking neck broken next.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 10/30/11 at 12:18:53
My best frinds dad was a NYCPD for 30 years.

I remember him telling me one time a guy was resisting arrest against him and his partner. The guy got a hold of his gun, but wasn't able to do anything with it. He did get a shot off but missed because of the way they were wrestling with each other.

He said when he had to write the report up about it to explain his injuries, he said he "slipped off the curb"

I always thought that was funny.

Synthr is a strange Canadian YJ. He doesn't care for hockey.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YJ318 on 10/30/11 at 12:22:17
Strange Canadian indeed!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 10/30/11 at 15:49:42
I'd say that shithead got what he deserved for stabbing a Marine who was only doing what was right. And it's icing on the cake to see the report written up like that. Criminals have it WAY too fucking easy these days.. cable TV in prison? WTF??

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by RoaDiE on 10/30/11 at 15:51:15
Im canadian and i hate hockey too :/ Hockey fever here is overboard at times.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by YJ318 on 10/30/11 at 18:31:00
2 Strange Canadians!! Holy Shit!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 10/31/11 at 06:03:50
Yea. Forgot about Road too. Shame on me. I knew too, he's not Hockey friendly.

It's all about making sure the cops don't just bust up whoever they arrest. Stories like that deserve to be a little slanted because well....the dude shot a cop.

It'd be a whole other story if he was just busted for a small bag of weed. There has to be some justifacation. I know it's not supposed to happen at all but damn, cops are people too.

Unfortunately it's the ones that take it over the line on a consistant basis, are the one that make it really glaring about brutality. Whooping up that dude that escaped isn't really gonna get frowned on.  

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 10/31/11 at 09:29:07

YJ318 wrote on 10/30/11 at 12:22:17:
Strange Canadian indeed!


Yea, I'm a weirdo. I do like hockey as a sport, but I don't follow it. Two strange Canadians at TMA? That's not a coincidence.

I focused my essay on the story of a cop who shot a mentally handicapped man to death because he thought his life was in danger. The handicapped man was protecting his family against some alleged door-to-door salesman who was being aggressive with him. When the cops arrived, the two men were fighting, the handicapped guy got up and approached the cop holding a pen knife. The cop didn't warn the man and shoot him five times. Long story short, the OPP (Ontario Provincial Police) took control of the scene and ruined the evidence for the SIU (Special Investigations Unit - Sort of like Internal Affairs for Ontario) who couldn't properly investigate the situation. The cop got off, the family of the handicapped man wasn't compensated and the SIU didn't do their job. There are tons of incidents like this in Canada alone.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 10/31/11 at 23:25:37


I win the high score contest.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by SynthR on 11/01/11 at 10:02:28
Don't try and sell me your second rate shit piece!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 11/01/11 at 11:48:56
I think it's a 2 staged problem. The police are the law so they can do things that we cannot. But they are also doing a dangerous job and deal with the worst, sickest, disease ridden, violent, assholes in existence.

The problem with the victims is that sometimes they are horrible people that seriously only respond to violence. But other times they are totally innocent. Going to court alone is very expensive and most victims cannot afford the kind of lawyer and probably private investigator that you need to put a cop in jail. The best you can hope for is a big settlement that comes out of all the tax payers pockets.

The system is very fucked up. If i were governor the first thing i'd do is try and do something to keep an eye and ear on the police. While fixing laws in order to give the proper punishments for the proper crimes.

Personally i think if someone shoots at you. You are lucky if they don't kill you just for that. Regardless if they are a cop or not. I've had weapons pulled on me and it's always unnerving and rage inducing. Rightfully so.

I don't see any reason the police shouldn't have to carry around an audio/video recorder. They spend way more of our money on beating settlements than they would need to buy a tiny camera and microphone with a 12 hour battery.

I feel bad for the cops who die to protect us. But if you became a cop and are afraid of being killed while protecting the innocent. Then you should have gotten a job as a mall cop.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 11/02/11 at 17:46:20
How many niggas in dis shit jelly?

Answer: all of you.



Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by PureNRG on 11/03/11 at 01:25:42
At least you didn't pick the blue one..

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 11/03/11 at 01:33:15
Why aren't you fatter?  I wanted to make jokes.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 11/07/11 at 20:28:30

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 11/12/11 at 15:06:08

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 11/12/11 at 17:16:53
Hahaha he should have taken a business degree.

Alternate quip.

He should have spent his grant money on milk instead of white hookers.

I think the best part of that picture is that the worst is not even over yet. That guy is about to fall down right on the other guys ass putting even more pressure on his broken knee.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 11/14/11 at 20:08:46

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 11/15/11 at 18:09:06

[TMA]InnatelyGestaltist wrote on 11/03/11 at 01:33:15:
Why aren't you fatter?  I wanted to make jokes.



Black is slimming. Check out them lovehandles! Sucking in that gut is bad for your colon too. Also he's got 1 1/2 chins.











Was the Mastodon for the black ranger a reference to black people having bigger dicks than other ethnicites? I believe so.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 11/23/11 at 02:34:44
V-TEC just kicked in, yo.



Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 11/23/11 at 04:04:52
Once a customer made me so angry at the bar i punched a hole into time and smacked him out of the doctors hands into the floor like a basketball making him a paraplegic altering the timeline so he never came to my bar to begin with.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 11/23/11 at 07:59:08
LOL @ Obliverate.

Douchebag is as douchebag does.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 12/11/11 at 03:20:03

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 12/11/11 at 14:52:13
Ok, that was fucking awesome LMAO.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by joe twisted on 12/11/11 at 23:20:28
haha that was really fucking good

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 12/12/11 at 02:29:15
KYOKANE

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 12/12/11 at 23:11:52
http://dumbrunningsonic.tumblr.com/

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 12/21/11 at 01:19:27

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Mecit on 01/18/12 at 12:04:10
http://i.imgur.com/aJGl3.jpg?3119

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 01/18/12 at 16:45:35

Mecit wrote on 01/18/12 at 12:04:10:
http://i.imgur.com/aJGl3.jpg?3119



I guess you can't sue the train it's self. Perhaps she can sort out a deal with the maggots for his teeth or something.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Mecit on 01/18/12 at 17:57:07
The rest of the news says a body part of the dude hit the woman so hard that it broke her leg and wrist.


That's pretty shitty, actually. It wasn't even suicide. I really have no idea what the old bitch was after.

"OH MY GOD! AN 18 YEAR-OLD GUY JUST DIED IN A HORRIBLE WAY BEFORE MY EYES. I AM SO GONNA SUE HIM FOR BREAKING MY LEG."


Some times, it's not really possible to understand old people. I mean, okay your leg was broken in a very absurd way but damn, the dude fucking died.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Mecit on 01/18/12 at 18:29:29
Oh. This too.


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 01/18/12 at 18:54:18

Mecit wrote on 01/18/12 at 18:29:29:
Oh. This too.




Well perhaps he's jealous that he didn't get killed by a train.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 01/19/12 at 08:18:25
Got to love retarted, insensitive, ignorant, greedy people now-a-days. I wonder what shark lawyer took that one up. Yea. It's no wonder we have disclaimers in commercials.

God only knows we wouldn't want anyone doing barrel rolls in a Nissan pick-up truck off some mountain and DIE!! We might gain more air for us to breathe if all the retards tried it. OMFG!

Fuck yea!!! That's what aMErica is about baby!!! Fuck all of you!!

I shouldn't have to wait, or get hurt because someone fucking DIED!!!

That's not my fucking problem.  

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 01/19/12 at 08:23:39

Magnum wrote on 01/19/12 at 08:18:25:
Got to love retarted, insensitive, ignorant, greedy people now-a-days. I wonder what shark lawyer took that one up. Yea. It's no wonder we have disclaimers in commercials.

God only knows we wouldn't want anyone doing barrel rolls in a Nissan pick-up truck off some mountain and DIE!! We might gain more air for us to breathe if all the retards tried it. OMFG!

Fuck yea!!! That's what aMErica is about baby!!! Fuck all of you!!

I shouldn't have to wait, or get hurt because someone fucking DIED!!!

That's not my fucking problem.  




That being said. Remember the guy who got his nuts smashed on the rim of a toilet inside of a Starbucks? He sued and won.

Honestly i agree with that one. Even if it was his own fault for getting up and sitting back down with the seat stuck to his ass. The dude smashed his balls between the toilet rim and the seat. That sounds so horribly painful i would settle out of court out of mercy for the poor bastard.

The train company should give her a free ticket to Montana or something.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 01/19/12 at 08:32:48
I dunno Hellbent.

I'd hate to know someone was retarted.....yes.....retarted enough to get his nuts squashed in the toilet seat at your establishment. I know you say you'd settle but, settle on what? Settle so much you have to shut down because he's suing for millions per-se?

So your willing to give some shithead an (x) amount of dollars because he smashed his nuts in a toilet seat?

I'll be over in a few days. Who's playing?

"MUH BALLSACK GOT SMASHED INNA TOILET SEAT!!!"


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 01/20/12 at 08:34:26
double reply






Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 01/20/12 at 08:49:53

Magnum wrote on 01/19/12 at 08:32:48:
I dunno Hellbent.

I'd hate to know someone was retarted.....yes.....retarted enough to get his nuts squashed in the toilet seat at your establishment. I know you say you'd settle but, settle on what? Settle so much you have to shut down because he's suing for millions per-se?

So your willing to give some shithead an (x) amount of dollars because he smashed his nuts in a toilet seat?

I'll be over in a few days. Who's playing?

"MUH BALLSACK GOT SMASHED INNA TOILET SEAT!!!"




If i was Starbucks i would not fight a guy in court who had his testicles removed cause my toilet seat didn't have the little gap in the middle.

If anyone deserves money from an accidental injury it's that guy. I don't think many people would do that on purpose. Though it doesn't count if they don't have to remove your smashed balls.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 01/21/12 at 10:57:04
That's up to you buddy.

I'm just trying to figure out how the fuck a dude can crush his nuts in a toilet seat.

I just don't understand the physics here I guess.....

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 01/21/12 at 19:50:08

Magnum wrote on 01/21/12 at 10:57:04:
That's up to you buddy.

I'm just trying to figure out how the fuck a dude can crush his nuts in a toilet seat.

I just don't understand the physics here I guess.....



I can answer this! Okay when i weighed a whole lot more my butt was bigger. Because of that i had more skin contact with the toilet seat then i do today. When your ass covers the seat it sticks to it. Like if your hands aren't really dry you can make stuff like paper and other things stick to them.

So basically when this guy got up off the seat. The seat was stuck to his ass. But he sat back down while the seat was still stuck to his butt. His nuts slung under the seat and as he sat down they got caught between the  seat and the rim of the toilet. By the time he relaxed his legs to sit down fully. There was nothing he could do. The time it would take for your full body to react to protect you from crushing your nuts like that doesn't favor the nuts very well.

Basically they have nut chomping toilet seats at Starbucks so don't get up from taking a shit unless you are 100% sure you are done.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 01/22/12 at 11:43:29
LOL!!

Ya know, the only thing I can see is dough being pressed through a small hole when you discribe this.

Now picture this as an ass.

You nasty bastard you....

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 01/22/12 at 11:51:55
Wrap 2 grapes in a wad of silly putty and smash it in a toilet seat by sitting on it with your full weight. Then unwrap the grapes. Those are what his testicles looked liked to surgeons and they said "Oh fuck it these gotta go.".

I think that is way more lawsuit worthy then the dumb old lady who spilt scalding hot coffee on her self. I mean come on she has used a fucking stove before and she grew up before they even thought Lawn Darts and Asbestos was dangerous.

The ball smash guy at least has a complaint. I mean if someone got their shoe lace caught in an escalator causing them to fall and break their arm. They'd sue the location and the people who made the escalator.

The main thing is i think it would look bad if Starbucks was like "Fuck you, you ball less fuckhead. What are you gonna do Mr.Noballs? Certainly not ejaculate ever again. Here is a coupon for a free cinnamon roll with any drink purchase. Try not to drown in our urinals you fucking moron."

That would be pretty hilarious if they did say that in those exact words. But i think the liberal shithead crowd would think it's a bit too corperatey.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 01/22/12 at 12:06:00
Look. Don't get me wrong. Just the thought of what that guy had to go through is un-imaginable. Physical and mental. Unreal.

"think that is way more lawsuit worthy then the dumb old lady who spilt scalding hot coffee on her self. I mean come on she has used a fucking stove before and she grew up before they even thought Lawn Darts and Asbestos was dangerous."

Point made. And most people kinda would know, or maybe drinking gasoline isn't a good thing either?

Actually, she had it between her legs and it spilled causing 1/2/3rd degree burns or whatever. From McDonalds as a matter of fact! At the time, she got a whopping 3 million for it. That was huge back in the mid 80's I think it was.  

Funny you mention that because, that was the birth cry for all asinine lawsuits. They all came out the woodwork after that. The toaster in a bath, the ladder in wet ground on an electrical wire, someone crashing a vehicle because they thought cruise control was auto pilot, Someone huffs paint and has brain damage, brings thier hair dryer into the shower, lawn darts, chemicals sets,...etc.....& whatever.

Anyway I'm missing the point I guess. I figure if I got up and the toilet seat stuck to my ass, I'd just try and pry it off than try and sit back down. Maybe ram my asshole into the door knob and hope to pry it off?

Then I can sue the establishment for molestation and sexual harrasment. That sounds much better. I'd hate to have it in the news that I don't have the balls to sue anyone anymore.  

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 01/22/12 at 12:19:00
I think the lesson is only protect the balls you want to keep.

That is a good lesson.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Jon Jon on 01/22/12 at 14:19:30
Just a little FYI about that Coffee lawsuit....

http://www.avvo.com/legal-guides/ugc/the-truth-behind-the-mcdonalds-coffee-case

I remember stumbling upon this ages ago. It's definitely a good read when it comes to that case.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Mecit on 01/25/12 at 04:46:24

Hellbent wrote on 01/21/12 at 19:50:08:
So basically when this guy got up off the seat. The seat was stuck to his ass. But he sat back down while the seat was still stuck to his butt. His nuts slung under the seat and as he sat down they got caught between the  seat and the rim of the toilet. By the time he relaxed his legs to sit down fully. There was nothing he could do. The time it would take for your full body to react to protect you from crushing your nuts like that doesn't favor the nuts very well.



Just reading this makes me feel bad. I can only guess how painful it was.

Anyway. Does anyone know if this shit is serious or fake? Either way, it's hilarious. I'm lovin' it.


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 01/25/12 at 08:36:04
Shit. I think Johnny Cockran is digging himself out his grave to represent that shit! Fake or real, that's fucking hilarious.

If it's a bunch of Arabs that own that store, they won't get in trouble though. It's only deh white ppl when dey say dat.

LINE EM UP!!!

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 01/25/12 at 15:38:07

Mecit wrote on 01/25/12 at 04:46:24:
Just reading this makes me feel bad. I can only guess how painful it was.

Anyway. Does anyone know if this shit is serious or fake? Either way, it's hilarious. I'm lovin' it.






Haha that is illegal as hell.

They can refuse service to anyone they want to. But you can't segregate like that these days.

It might be real though. The idiot that printed it up must have thought "well we aren't refusing service we are just charging them extra so they won't come in unless they are going to rob us.". Or it could have been a disgruntled manager.

Either way the only thing you can do to adjust prices per person are Children, Adult, and Senior prices. You can't have Black and White prices for very obvious reasons.

Also even though you can refuse service. You still can't hang up a sign that says no blacks or anything like that. You gotta hire someone to say it to their face or else it still counts as segregation. It's really weird.









The only possible exception i could think of is if people at that particular store got shot to death during the robberies. In which case there might be a snowballs chance in hell that they got clearance from the city to do that.

But typically when people get shot to death at a Mc.Donnalds they shut it down and that town doesn't have a Mc.Donnalds anymore.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 01/26/12 at 08:30:11
I can just sit here and imagine the riots that'd start if a sign like that was hung up in a Mc'ds here. Holy shit.

There'd be some serious damage control from them. They'd be giving out free fucking Big Macs for months to all African American people that walked into the store within a 50 mile radius.

Then there would be a sign hanging that read,

"Due to racial tensions, whites are not allowed to partake in free Big Mac's for Blacks this month. Sorry for the inconveinence."

SHIT!!! I JUST WANT A FUCKING CHICKEN NUGGET DAMMIT!!!!











Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Sling on 04/29/12 at 01:05:30

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 04/29/12 at 08:00:09
It would be funny if they had Ronald Mc.Donnald telling black people they can't come in.

"Howdy Friends! And by Howdy i mean Niggers go home huk huk huk! This is a hamburgler free zone darkies"

then the Fry guys come out with shotguns and baseball bats and start running around like spazes blabbing "darkies darkies darkies". Also shaved heads and racist looking boots.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 04/30/12 at 18:37:19

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Mecit on 05/01/12 at 19:00:13

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by That one guy on 05/03/12 at 11:42:34
wait... wut?
did he hit something?  for reals? That's not even funny...

good God, people are fucking retarded

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Mecit on 05/03/12 at 12:32:02

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 05/03/12 at 13:16:17
Haha. Wiping out and then getting raped by a dog. That's epic.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/03/12 at 18:33:53

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by DeathStrikesBack on 05/03/12 at 18:52:53

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/03/12 at 18:55:33
Dizaster.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/03/12 at 18:56:55
Yeah, uh, no..

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 05/03/12 at 20:11:29

That one guy wrote on 05/03/12 at 11:42:34:
wait... wut?
did he hit something?  for reals? That's not even funny...

good God, people are fucking retarded


Check out how the entire post bends right when it hits his nuts. That thing might have not even been in the ground.

It looks like they propped up the pole and convinced the dude "Oh it's not even in the ground. It'll hurt but you'll be famous!"

Then when he hits the pole you can tell the sheer weight of it just crushed the fuck out of his nuts. That is great. I love it when low framerate cameras get all the best frames.

I hope my balls never collide with a PVC pipe so hard that the pipe actually bends like when you swing the shit out of it.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by †Adonael on 05/03/12 at 21:50:29
He tries to ditch a little too late like a retard as well. Usually people ditch at the right time, you know, before a bad idea is put into action.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 05/04/12 at 07:49:33
I'd hump her too!

Get the LSD goggles on!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snD1b-om5xw&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PLDCE8A2AA22B6ACE2

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by That one guy on 05/04/12 at 09:25:02

wrote on 05/03/12 at 21:50:29:
He tries to ditch a little too late like a retard as well. Usually people ditch at the right time, you know, before a bad idea is put into action.


I seriously thought he was going to get run over.  

And Mags... the fuck man?  Bunch of weird dudes taking paint balloons to the face?  
Actually, the parts with the mousetraps were cool.  Damn you, wasting my six precious minutes!  ;D

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 05/04/12 at 09:51:02
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwbvUuBEZXw&feature=related

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 05/04/12 at 15:30:50

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 05/05/12 at 09:18:43
The redhead on the right....

Ohhh yea.....

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/06/12 at 05:12:28
Jesus Christ, man. The picture is kinda blurry and you can hardly make out what she looks like! Your woman needs to give you more ham wallet, for real..

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 05/06/12 at 10:30:41
I love that kind of bad 80's art. They know their actors look kind of unpleasant up close so they just make it blurry enough that your perverted mind fills in the blanks.

It's literally mental masturbation.

Pretty sure one of them has a penis. Not the one in the middle though.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 05/06/12 at 11:15:48

The Dizaster Child wrote on 05/06/12 at 05:12:28:
Jesus Christ, man. The picture is kinda blurry and you can hardly make out what she looks like! Your woman needs to give you more ham wallet, for real..


Really? No shit! They're ALL fucking blurry and I'm older than you! That's the box art. It's not that blurry....WTF??

Come on Disaster...you know you want that short haired brunette...

Yea...the one in the middle...  ;D

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/06/12 at 17:13:55
80s broads never appealed to me... too much big, blonde hair. I'd take me some 40s or 50s poonie any day. As long as the box isn't blurry.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/06/12 at 17:21:20
http://gammasquad.uproxx.com/2010/11/say-hello-to-pron-the-tron-xxx-parody-pictures


It came lol out in 2010.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 05/06/12 at 19:24:31
@Magnum - That would be former supermodel Zoe Voss, and I don't think her beanpole figure lends itself to DC's taste in women.  Not to step on toes, but I think he and I tend to find similar types of women to our liking; i.e., women who look like....well....women.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/07/12 at 01:12:25
Exactly, dude. Women were MEANT to have shape and curves.. that's why I don't get the fascination with women who have six-packs, or are so fucking skinny you can count ribs. I messed around with a girl who was that skinny, and it was almost boner-destroying. Like, I could feel her insides on my wanger. I was scared she could twitch and snap it off. Not to mention when she laid close to me, I could feel her bones against me.. it was like touching a science class skeleton. No fucking thank you.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 05/07/12 at 01:16:12
I love we live in a world where fat is 20 pounds overweight and thin means you look like you got out of a concentration camp.

Then again people dress up as cartoon animals and fuck each other. Also people born with both sets of genitalia. The world is kind of fucked up in that sense. I don't blame people for being all screwy. But they're still morons.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/07/12 at 01:58:00
I'll never get the love for fat chicks. And when I say fat, I mean, fat. Not curvy. Not healthy. Not "woman"-y. But fat. There is a fine line between healthy and fat, and from what I've seen, you guys want the girls that mistake that line for cake and eat it.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 05/07/12 at 02:08:17

Obliverate wrote on 05/07/12 at 01:58:00:
I'll never get the love for fat chicks. And when I say fat, I mean, fat. Not curvy. Not healthy. Not "woman"-y. But fat. There is a fine line between healthy and fat, and from what I've seen, you guys want the girls that mistake that line for cake and eat it.



Haha that is true too. I think guys dig on fat chicks due to self esteem issues. Just like good looking chicks date guys that are like their fathers.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by The Dizaster Child on 05/07/12 at 02:22:59
From what I can tell, you seem to confuse a girl with titties bigger than a D-cup as being a fatass, which is also false.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/07/12 at 02:45:18
Eh no. But that bow-legged hambeast named Katrina or whatever is not attractive to me.









Here you guys go, TMA's all time favorite game.






Dirt 2.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 05/07/12 at 03:27:16
It's one thing to complain about sharp elbows and it's another thing for a lady to have a messed up face.

I still want to puke when i think of some of the scags i've seen people going home with at work. I don't even think it's due to the alcohol i think they just don't have any standards. Either that or they are looking for that kind of thing.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 05/07/12 at 06:38:40
Holy shit. I hate the internet for suble joking sometimes.

I loves me sum Dirt 2

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by joe twisted on 05/08/12 at 00:46:45

Hellbent wrote on 05/07/12 at 03:27:16:
I still want to puke when i think of some of the scags i've seen people going home with at work. I don't even think it's due to the alcohol i think they just don't have any standards. Either that or they are looking for that kind of thing.


you've never been drunk and horny?  sometimes it happens ...

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 05/08/12 at 01:50:02
No that is exactly it. It happens then you never do it again. Never again!

I got lucky and my stomach saved me. I'm just lucky it wasn't a girl who was turned on by a beard full of vomit.

Plus she ended up being my sister in law and i wasn't aware of that until way later. Jesus that would have been so fucking bad. I'd wear a bag on my head for the rest of my life.

I wish i could even forget the clearly insane thoughts that were in my head. I'm a horrible person. Though by southern standards i'm a good ol boy i guess. Though i'd be even "gooder" if i did my sister in law. Then i could start fucking my daughters in my cabin until the ATF comes in and makes me set my whole retarded fuck family on fire.








Oh dude they need to make a porn based off the Waco thing. That would be hot.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/09/12 at 02:27:53

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 05/09/12 at 06:43:45

Obliverate wrote on 05/09/12 at 02:27:53:



I've never wanted to attack people based on how they look until that picture. Kill whitey.

Lets handcuff them all together hands to feet then hook them up to a couple of cars and keep pulling them apart until they are all finally dead.

Lets drown them in a bucket of piss one at a time.

Lets put them into a giant oven with a big window on it so we can watch them cook.

I wish i could impale them all with a fence post machine.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/23/12 at 19:34:08

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 05/29/12 at 18:39:00

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 06/02/12 at 01:57:13

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 06/02/12 at 10:09:36
Ohhh realy? Unfucking beliveable.

I'd like to see that stupid fucker have my truck key ring on the end of that. His shit would be streched to his ankles after the day.

Still though....people actually bought that shit? Goddamn human race....

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by †Adonael on 06/02/12 at 14:19:51
http://www.goetzecandy.com/

This page would be really funny... If it wasn't for the fact that it's pronounced "Gets"

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 06/03/12 at 10:15:02
Heh...that's pretty funny. Didn't think I'd ever see a company I know of, put up on TMA. Did you see where their main plant is located? It's 3900 Monument Street, Baltimore MD 21205.

I've not only delivered there, but also done pick ups too. They always have a few busted boxes of loose candy for samples. The cow tails are good but, the caramel creams are fucking banging. Esspecially warmed up a little where they're slightly gooey. The wife absolutely loves them. Garunteed laid!  

Trust me. If you've had them, you'd love em. You just have to like caramel and EXTREAMLY sweet cream.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by †Adonael on 06/03/12 at 10:36:36
I bought a bag the other day. It's pretty good shit.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/01/12 at 14:26:20
   

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Mecit on 07/01/12 at 18:32:32
Stereotypes are stereotypes, for a reason.


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Kilrgrn on 07/01/12 at 22:24:09

Mecit wrote on 07/01/12 at 18:32:32:
Stereotypes are stereotypes, for a reason.



PEMDAS

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by [TMA]InnatelyGestaltist on 07/01/12 at 23:22:12

Kilrgrn wrote on 07/01/12 at 22:24:09:
PEMDAS


Every good boy does fine!

My very energetic mother just served us nine pizzas!


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/02/12 at 01:56:00

[TMA]InnatelyGestaltist wrote on 07/01/12 at 23:22:12:
Every good boy does fine!

My very energetic mother just served us nine pizzas!

EGBDF

MVEMJSUNP

Rolls off the tongue like butter.



Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 07/02/12 at 02:12:02


MC Fester

MC Leukemia

MC Blair

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/02/12 at 03:06:13

Hellbent wrote on 07/02/12 at 02:12:02:


MC Fester

MC Leukemia

MC Blair


Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by XIZOR on 07/02/12 at 08:12:36
Haha. Nice one.

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 07/03/12 at 07:42:37
That pic reminds me of.......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNQPLewGR9k

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 07/03/12 at 21:56:13

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Obliverate on 07/03/12 at 21:57:14

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Hellbent on 07/03/12 at 22:25:24
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vr9mLP6NwnU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfKqyQsZJE

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Magnum on 07/04/12 at 07:50:23
Just when you didn't think wrestling couldn't get any gayer.....

Title: Re: Xizor Is A Dick
Post by Spagett on 07/04/12 at 17:49:44

Magnum wrote on 07/04/12 at 07:50:23:
Just when you didn't think wrestling couldn't get any gayer.....



I know really.  ::)

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